PHILADELPHIA — After this one, the faces of the Cincinnati Reds should have matched their batting helmets — a bright embarrassed red, with frowny faces painted on.
Philadelphia 22, Cincinnati 1, ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom.
For the second time this year, the game ended farcical with infielder Paul Janish pitching and giving up six runs in one inning.
"That's the worst beating I can ever remember on a baseball field," said manager Dusty Baker. "We just got slaughtered, as they used to say."
The 21-run defeat was the biggest in franchise history, which goes back almost to the days when Abraham Lincoln lived (1869).
Starter Johnny Cueto admitted after his last start that he dearly and truly wanted to be a National League All-Star and figured his 8-4 record and 2.69 earned run average made him worthy.
National League manager Charlie Manuel snubbed Cueto, instead selecting Francisco Cordero as the lone Cincinnati Reds representative.
Manuel also happens to manage the Philadelphia Phillies and Monday was the perfect opportunity for Cueto to show Manuel he made a gargantuan mistake.
Whoops and oops.
The Phillies put a crack in Cueto's ERA longer and wider than the crack in the Liberty Bell, scoring 10 runs in the first inning — nine charged to Cueto. His ERA exploded from 2.69, one of the league's best, to 3.45, a notch better than ordinary.
Cueto walked the first batter and Shane Victorino homered. Then Cueto retired the next two and it looked as if he might escape with a 2-0 deficit.
Then the sky, clouds included, fell on his head — single, home run (Greg Dobbs), hit by pitch, walk, two-run double (by pitcher Cole Hamels), double, walk, good-bye and sayonara.
Cueto needed 49 pitches to get two outs while giving up nine runs, five hits, two homers, three walks and a hit batter.
And he lost his composure and said, "I was mad at myself because I couldn't throw strikes."
Said Baker, "I don't know what happened in the first. You just can't explain it. That's the worst outing I've ever seen from Cueto. (Pitching coach) Dick Pole kind of warned me that Cueto wasn't very good in the bullpen, but sometimes that doesn't mean anything. It meant something today."
Actually, after the two-run homer in the first, Cueto retired the next two and almost got the third out. Jayson Werth blooped one to center and Willy Taveras made a dive, but short-hopped the ball. Eight straight Phillies reached base and all eight scored to make it 10-0.
"That's two days in a row — I mean Sunday I had to leave Bronson Arroyo out there longer than normal just because of something like this happening," said Baker. "You always think it can't get worse but my daddy told me not to say that because it can get worse. And it got worse."
While the Reds were scoring one run, a home run by Jonny Gomes, the Phillies first three batters scored 12 runs, five by Victorino, four by Jimmy Rollins and three by Chase Utley/Eric Bruntlett. Twelve of Philadelphia's first 16 runs came with two outs.
"We're not going undefeated this year — we've already determined that," said Gomes. "But you don't want to lose like that, but it's in the same category as 1-0. A loss is a loss. You chew on this for 45 minutes, then walk through those double doors and come in tomorrow with a clean head. And we'll see what kind of team we are."
The Reds fell a game below .500 (40-41) and dropped into a fourth/fifth place tie with Houston.
The last time the Reds gave up 22 runs was in Wrigley Field, August 13, 1937 — before World War II unfurled — a 22-6 loss to the Chicago Cubs.
"That's the second time this year I had to use Janish (as a pitcher) and I'd never done it before in my managing career," Baker said. "Now this year. Twice. Same year. Damn."
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