I’d like to see the final day of the Ryder Cup from start to finish, but I’m going to lose enough sleep during the baseball playoffs. I predict that Europe will successfully defend Elin Nordegren’s honor and Colin Montgomerie will sustain a concussion when his players — dizzy from too much champagne — carry Monty to the trophy ceremony. And drop him.

The Reds belong: I think Reds fans, cynics that they are, will have trouble enjoying the fact that their team will be in the playoffs this week. This is a young team with tremendous upside, so have fun ... and send Jonny Gomes the number for a barber.

Chances are the Phillies will knock out Cincinnati in three or four games, but the Reds are precocious enough to believe they can win. Who knows? One good outing from Travis Wood and Philly might tighten up. Patience at the plate will be a key. I’d like to see Brandon Phillips take a few pitches and go to right field.

Up in smoke: Our public officials have enough on their plates without having to investigate stupid stuff, such as the Reds smoking cigars in the GABP clubhouse after clinching their division title. Really? Someone actually called the authorities to point out that the Reds were violating Ohio’s smoking ban?

As Sergeant Hulka so wisely pointed out in the 1981 classic “Stripes”: “Lighten up, Francis.” I’m pretty sure the five people who called in the Reds’ group felony all were named Francis.

Splitting uprights: The Bengals’ record for most field goals in a season is 31 (Shayne Graham, 2007). Centerville’s Mike Nugent has kicked eight field goals in Cincinnati’s first three games. That means he needs 24 FGs in 13 games to overtake Graham.

The way the Bengals offense sputters between the 20s, that is a distinct possibility.

Quick hits: The best thing that could happen for NASCAR in its boring Chase is that Jimmie Johnson doesn’t win. They’ve tried to market this guy, but he comes off as this generation’s Pete Sampras. ... What do people enjoy criticizing more: Hillary Clinton’s hair or Bristol Palin’s dance moves? ... Brutus Buckeye was very relieved to learn that Illinois caved to the PC police and retired the fearsome Chief Illiniwek in 2007.

Contact this reporter at (937) 225-2163 or bkollars@DaytonDailyNews.com.