You undoubtedly were as excited as I was when you heard the news that Miley Cyrus is about to become an aunt.

Because this development most likely will be the main topic of conversation at the next meeting of your book club, bowling league or Mensa Society chapter, I have dug deeply into this important story to give you all the information you need to be an informed American:

• The parents-to-be have been identified by Celebuzz.com as Brenda Song and Trace Miley. Or, as they are identified by USweekly, “She played crazy girlfriend in ‘Social Network;’ he’s singer Miley’s brother.”

• UsMagazine.com reports that Song is about eight weeks along.

• Gossipcop.com promises to have updates.

• Christianpost.com has learned that Billy Ray Cyrus will be the grandfather.

• omg! is speculating about whether the baby will be named Miley.

And while we all pause pregnantly to ponder that possibility, here are some other questions I have:

When did celebrities making babies become news? Or, in this case, the half-brother and son of celebrities? And what’s next? Reports on the pregnancy of Jason Bateman’s second cousin? Jaime Pressley’s next-door neighbor? The stylist who does Justin Bieber’s hair?

Not that celebrity chatter isn’t vital to our way of life. “Who” female movie stars wear to award ceremonies, for instance, clearly is important news. Why else would talented journalists such as Joan Rivers and Ryan Seacrest be assigned to conduct in-depth red-carpet interviews?

Expecting a baby, on the other hand, used to be of interest only to the couple immediately involved, their families and their ob/gyn. If a movie star became pregnant, press agents did everything they could to keep it out of the news.

But today you can’t pass a magazine rack without seeing half a dozen covers of expectant celebrities, displaying what has come to be known as their “baby bumps.”

Don’t get me started on Beyonce’s reveal Sunday at MTV’s award show.

If Michelle Obama becomes pregnant, that would be Newsweek-worthy, of course. If Kate Middletown becomes pregnant, that’s news because the child could become the king or queen of England. If Colts quarterback Peyton Manning becomes pregnant, that’s definitely news because it might limit his ability to scramble out of the pocket on third-and-long situations. (If wide receiver Chad Ochocinco becomes pregnant, on the other hand, that’s just Chad looking for attention).

I am, to be sure, all in favor of people having babies. I come from a long line of women who had them. But if all it takes is having a baby bump to get your picture on the cover of a magazine and your name in the news, I’m not impressed.

Heck, I’ve had a baby bump for years.

Contact D.L. Stewart at dlstew_2000@yahoo.com.