The longer modern technology and I live together, the less we understand each other.

Last Sunday, for instance, my wife and I wanted to watch “Desperate Housewives” to see if Katherine was going to wind up in a relationship with Robin, the former stripper who had moved in with Susan and Mike, who had an affair with Katherine between marriages to Susan.

But it also was the night of the Winter Olympic Games’ closing ceremonies. Plus a night upon which my favorite basketball team was playing.

So I set the DVR to record the basketball game at 7:30 p.m. and “Desperate Housewives” at 9.

While the basketball game is recording, we sit down at 8 to watch the closing ceremonies, a large portion of which consists of a choir singing the Russian national anthem, which lasts approximately the same length as the siege of Leningrad.

At 8:59 a box pops up on our screen declaring that in order for “Desperate Housewives” to start recording, we have to quit watching our current program or stop recording the basketball game.

We agree to cancel “Desperate Housewives” and continue watching the closing ceremonies. Which we do until 10:30, when Bob Costas announces that NBC is switching to a new program for the next hour, after which it will resume the Russian national anthem.

So I switch to the basketball game. Which I watch until the recording stops with 14:32 remaining.

With the help of technology, I have missed a third of the game, all of “Desperate Housewives” and who knows how much of the Russian national anthem.

Fortunately, I’ve heard a rumor that it’s possible to watch past television programs on a computer via something called streaming.

So on Monday, I Google “Desperate Housewives” on my Mac. Which, the NBC Web site informs me, I can only watch if my computer has an application called Adobe Flash Player 10. Which my Mac does not. (We also have a PC at home and it’s possible that Adobe Flash Player 10 is on that, but there’s no way of telling because we haven’t been able to access anything on the PC for quite some time).

I Google Adobe Flash Player 10 and discover a link that has Flash Player 2010 on sale for $11.67. I sign up, give my credit card information and receive a user name, a password and a charge on my credit card for $49.95. (All of which, I learn too late, is my mistake because the Adobe app is free).

Then I return to the ABC web site and call up Sunday’s episode. But instead of arriving in a stream, the program appears on my screen one drop at a time, leading me to suspect my Mac has sprung a leak. After an hour or so of the “Desperate Housewives” slideshow, I give up.

Now I have $49.95 worth of something that doesn’t work on my Mac, a PC that refuses to connect to anything, the Russian national anthem stuck in my head and no idea what happened between Katherine and the stripper.

All I know for sure is that modern technology and I may be headed for a divorce.

Contact D.L. Stewart at dlstew_2000@yahoo.com.