That I’ve never been elected to public office is due primarily to the fact that I’ve never run for public office, although there may be other good reasons. But now I have to decided to run for the office of Prince of Seborga.

The position currently is vacant, as you may have read in the obituary pages of last Sunday’s New York Times. Prince Giorgio I of Seborga died at the age of 73 after a long illness.

It’s possible that you’ve never heard of the Principality of Seborga and may even doubt that it’s a real place. But that’s your fault for fooling around with the kid in the seat behind you and not paying attention in geography class.

Because Seborga is, indeed, a real place. All five square miles of it located near the Riviera where the bottom of France meets the side of Italy. Several legends are connected to the country, including that it is where the knights took the Holy Grail. You’d probably have to check with Dan Brown about that.

Whatever the truth, Prince Giorgio — known to his 350 or so loyal subjects as “His Tremendousness” — was its first and only monarch.

Before he was a monarch, he was a mimosa grower whose name was Giorgio Carbone. But in 1963 he convinced the populace of Seborga that, even though they lived in what appeared to be a part of Italy, that country’s bureaucratic bungling meant they actually were citizens of a sovereign nation.

Italy’s government, of course, disputed that claim. But Giorgio fired back with the stirring campaign phrase, “The government are imbeciles.”

Impressed by his eloquence — or the fact that he grew really nice mimosas — they voted him in as prince. In 1995 he was designated prince for life by a vote of 304 to 4.

During his reign, Prince Giorgio achieved several notable accomplishments, including the establishment of the principality’s own currency (the luigino) and stamps, with his picture on both. He passed a law to encourage smoking. He formed an army, consisting entirely of a lieutenant by the name of Antonello Lacala. His most enduring achievement, though, may have been the adoption of the official motto, “Sub umbra sede.” Which means “Sit in the shade.”

And he did all that without accepting one luigino of salary. His only compensation was a daily helping of free ham and cheese from a local shop.

But having never married or otherwise producing any known heirs, Prince Giorgio the First also was Prince Giorgio the Last. Now, after a suitable period of mourning, a new monarch will need to be elected.

So I’m giving serious thought to running for the office. I will promise to keep Seborga independent. I also will immediately request $3 billion in foreign aid from the United States in exchange for sending Lt. Lacala to join the U.S. troops in Afghanistan, increasing the surge to 30,001.

If elected, I will become Prince D.L. 1. Or, as my subjects undoubtedly will refer to me, His Ridiculousness.

Contact Prince D.L. at dlstew_2000@yahoo.com.