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'The Skeleton Key' leaves you malnourished for thrills and chills

The only thing "The Skeleton Key" unlocks is the door to disappointment.

This tedious movie is the latest and least of an increasing string of relatively bloodless PG-13 horror flicks, which have been called "horror lite."

Universal Pictures 'The Skeleton Key' D The verdict: A waste of a good cast. Director: Iain Softley Starring: Kate Hudson, Gena Rowlands, Peter Sarsgaard, John Hurt, Joy Bryant Run time: 104 minutes Release date: August 12, 2005 Rating: PG-13 for violence, disturbing images, some partial nudity and thematic material. See showtimes On the web Official movie site View the trailer    Trailers require Quicktime [an error occurred while processing this directive]

This one's light on horror, all right. I jumped exactly once. The rest of the time I slumped in my seat, waiting for something interesting to happen, but never getting it.

The movie centers around a hospice worker, Caroline (Kate Hudson), who takes a job in the creepiest mansion in New Orleans, caring for an old man (John Hurt) supposedly immobilized by a stroke.

Caroline soon discovers strange relics in the house, like body parts in jars and scratchy old records with chants on them. She suspects that her patient's stern wife, Violet (Gena Rowlands), practices a form of witchcraft called hoodoo and enlists the help of a lawyer (Peter Sarsgaard) to uncover the truth.

"The Skeleton Key" wastes a good cast. Hudson's natural charm enlivens the movie a little, but not enough to make it less than dreary. Old pros Hurt and Rowlands are reduced to ridiculous histrionics. Most criminally of all, the movie breaks Sarsgaard's string of excellent performances in movies like "Shattered Glass," "Kinsey" and "Garden State."

The movie is particularly disappointing because I've admired director Iain Softley's diverse work, ranging from the Beatles biopic "Backbeat" to the powerful period drama "The Wings of the Dove" and the underrated "K-PAX." "The Skeleton Key" shows that his range does not extend to horror. He paces the movie turgidly and stages the action flatly, making almost all the shocks predictable.

It would take a more gifted director than Softley to make something out of Ehren Kruger's hackneyed screenplay. He tries to repeat elements of his effective work in "The Ring," like the idea of vengeful ghosts haunting the present, but the material never sparks. I was so bored that the twist ending completely eluded me — and I didn't care.

At the very least, the movie's title is appropriate in a way: "The Skeleton Key" left me malnourished for thrills and chills. As far as witch doctor-themed entertainment goes, I'll stick with either Roger Moore's debut James Bond film "Live and Let Die," or even the old David Seville hit with the "ting-tang walla-walla bing-bang" chorus. Both are much more fun than this mess.

Hudson's character pretty well summed up my feelings on this movie when her cornered character repeatedly screams, "I don't believe!" Me neither, Kate.