OxfordPress.com

Grade: C+

Verdict: Could be this week's "The Fast and the Furious."

Details: Chris Klein, Jean Reno and LL Cool J. Directed by John McTiernan. Rated PG-13 for violence, language and sex. 1 hour, 38 minutes.

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Description: "Rollerball" sounds like something hatched by a Hollywood pool after doing a few lines. Hey, let's remake a flop that came out so long ago that its star, James Caan, could still open a movie!

Well, maybe it didn't happen like that. But as over budgeted ($80 million), sensory-overload remakes go, it beats the tar out of Tim Burton's "Planet of the Apes," released last summer (which, incidentally, is when this film was originally supposed to open).

In the not-too-distant future, the game of choice is Rollerball, a combination of roller derby, hockey, pro wrestling and Quidditch. Teams with names like the Golden Horde and the Siberian Wolf Pack zoom around an arena on motorcycles and in-line skates chasing a silver ball.

The game's superstar is Jonathan (Chris Klein, a thicker-looking Keanu Reeves knock-off), leader of the Red Horsemen. He and his best buddy, Marcus (LL Cool J), love the game - and the money. Unfortunately, Rollerball's creator (Jean Reno) loves the money more than the game. Money means getting the ratings. And, as every greedy sports promoter knows, the best way to goose ratings is a little blood on the track. Uh-oh. . .

The new, jazzed-up "Rollerball" has more in common with "Series 7" than it does with its 1975 predecessor, which focused on the then newly evolving controversy over ultra-rough play in pro sports. This version is more concerned with the Unholy Three: owners, the media and advertising.

Director John McTiernan is no Ridley Scott; after all, his "The Hunt for Red October" is no "Black Hawk Down." But he's certainly a seasoned pro who knows how to pump up the volume. And the adrenalin.

"Rollerball" is, admittedly, preposterous, over-the-top schlock. You either go with it or you leave the theater.

I went with it. So, I'm guessing, will a lot of that cherished demographic, 14- to 34-year-old boys.