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Grade: C-

Verdict: Smith and Jones get back to work ... strictly for the paycheck and the residuals.

Details: Starring Tommy Lee Jones, Will Smith. Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld. Rated PG-13 for sci-fi action violence and some provocative humor. One hour, 28 min.

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Review: Wow! Can you believe it's been five years since agents J (Will Smith) and K (Tommy Lee Jones) donned their Ray-Bans and saved earth from an evil alien?

Here's an even bigger Wow!: Can you believe that in all that time, nobody bothered to write them a decent sequel?

Not that 1997's “Men in Black” was all that great. But its one-joke premise was buoyed by goofy special effects and a buggy performance by Vincent D'Onofrio as the chief villain. “Men in Black II” recycles the same effects (which look pretty crummy now) and gives us a new villain, an intergalactic vixen named Serleena. She's played by Lara Flynn Boyle, and the movie is a lot like her: pale, undeveloped, skeletal, smug.

That's a shame, since the main screenwriter, Robert Gordon, was partly responsible for “Galaxy Quest,” a SF satire that was as sharp, witty and subversive as “MIBII” isn't.

Look, you'll see it anyway, right? So go ahead, stop reading.

But if you're still with me, here goes. Agent J is working with revolving partners, now that K is laboring at a post office after being neuralyzed — i.e., having his memory wiped clean of his past as an alien-control federale. But J has to get him back when Serleena lands, searching for the Light of Something-or-Other in order to rule the universe and possibly destroy the Earth. And only Agent K knows — or knew — where it is.

The Light is the so-called McGuffin, the gizmo everybody's looking for. Alfred Hitchcock coined the term, and he could do amazing things with the slimmest version of one. Here, director Barry Sonnenfeld continues to drift along with the same arrogant laziness that made his “Wild Wild West” worthy of inclusion in a time capsule honoring Hollywood's worst tentpole product.

I should tell you that “MIBII” is funny, only I can't. It's a parade of stale jokes about “3rd Rock from the Sun,” “Who Let the Dogs Out,” “Tell it to the hand . . .” For a current comedy, this one's stuck in a time warp.

The highlights? The gruff, talking pug-dog Frank. Tony Shalhoub as the sleazy alien whose head can grow back when it's blasted off. Jones and Smith's prickly chemistry.

Hey, wait a minute — all those things were in the first movie! As for all the cool new stuff . . . Hang on, let me look at my notes.

Um, no. Sorry. There isn't anything. Except maybe that business with the Grand Central Station locker. As a two-headed alien, Johnny Knoxville (the guy from MTV's "Jackass") makes a jackass of himself in ways he couldn't have intended. The lovely Rosario Dawson plays a lovely almost-love-interest for Smith, but she has less personality than the agents' guns. And Boyle lacks the sexy, self-mocking humor of Famke Janssen (Jean Grey in “X-Men”), who was originally cast as the villainess before backing out for personal reasons.

A couple of pluses: David Cross of “Mr. Show” sparks the movie to life in his couple of screen minutes playing a video-store geek. And Michael Jackson reprises his cameo from the first edition, proving that the creepiest aliens can come from our very own planet. But them's the highlights, kids. (And speaking of kids, “MIBII” throws itself into PG-13 territory with some pointless choices, including an alien with, um, a scrotal chin.)

Some sequels are better than their original movies. “The Godfather Part II,” “Aliens,” “Batman Returns.” Since the first “MIB” was so light — more launching pad than actual voyage — it's hard to imagine that its follow up could be even slighter. You don't believe me? Go ahead. Pay your $8. You will anyway.

— Steve Murray, (none)