OxfordPress.com

Rob Reiner, the accomplished director of gems such as "This is Spinal Tap," "Misery," "When Harry Met Sally" and "A Few Good Men," hits a career low with this inert comedy romance that, like last year's "Possession," intertwines two love stories, one past, one present.

Alex (Wilson) is a blocked writer and unlucky gambler who owes $100 grand to Cuban loan sharks. He has 30 days to come up with the cash, and the only way to do that is to finish his not-yet-started novel, deliver it to his publisher and collect his advance.

The Cubans torch his laptop, so Alex hires a stenographer. She's Emma (Hudson) and, as the press notes coyly put it, "her initially irritating but undeniably intriguing input" affects his story.

Which is: a love story set in the Gatsby 1920s, about a poor tutor (Wilson) who falls for a sophisticated and gorgeous Frenchwoman (Sophie Marceau). She, too, is penniless, a situation she intends to remedy by marrying a wealthy older man (David Paymer). Meanwhile, Hudson keeps popping up as an au pair who's German one session, Spanish the next (Alex can't decide which national stereotype is, um, richer).

The movie is loosely based on the true story of the great Russian novelist, Feodor Dostoevski, who fell in love with his stenographer while trying to finish his classic "The Gambler" in 30 days, in order to pay his gambling debts. In fact, Reiner's original title was "Loosely Based on a True Love Story," which suggests a sense of a tale told, much like the director's mid-'80s hit, "The Princess Bride." But in that case, Reiner was working with Oscar-winning writer William Goldman. Here, he's got Jeremy Leven, who mostly supplies fluffy clichés.

It's possible the script would've worked with different actors -- Hugh Grant and Renée Zellweger, even Meg Ryan and Hugh Jackman. Hudson and Wilson's chemistry wouldn't light a cigarette. They aren't just charmless; they make you feel like they loathe being in the same room together. He's flat-out awful, a dime-store Alec Baldwin at best, and her performance is mostly a matter of narrowing her eyes.

In the film, Emma has this "adorable" way of deciding if she wants to read a book by skimming the last page first. If she likes the end, she reasons, she'll like getting to it. "Alex & Emma," alas, doesn't have anything worth skipping to.