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The easiest way to keep your children from sexting is to tell them not to do it.
“Kids need to hear from you,” said Darcy Jacobs, executive editor of Family Circle. “Even about what seems obvious to you of what they shouldn’t be doing. What they need to hear from you is, ‘Don’t do this.’ At the moment, they are not thinking that maybe they’re doing something that could get them in trouble. That this could be considered porn.”
Sexting, the practice of sending pictures of sexual acts or pictures of nude teens, is a concern of parents across the country. Some teens are facing prosecution for pornography and being added to sexual offender lists.
In our area, the following cases have occurred:
• In Kettering, officials found a 14-year-old Kettering Middle School student with a cell phone picture of her and another juvenile engaging in a sex act. A Montgomery County Juvenile Division prosecutor reviewed the girl’s case. Charges will not be pressed.
• A 13-year-old Middletown boy is facing delinquency, by reason of pandering obscenity, after a video of another student’s sexual activity was found on his cell phone. Minor felony charges are involved.
• Two Mason juveniles were charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor after an assistant principal inadvertently viewed a nude photo of a 15-year-old Mason girl on a cell phone.
As a result, law enforcement and lawmakers have taken the following actions:
• The Montgomery County Prosecutor’s Office announced a Juvenile Diversion Program, designed to help first-time sexting offenders, on March 4.
The diversion program will require offenders to complete a six-month program of community service and education. Lectures on practicing “safe text” are part of the program.
• State Rep. Ron Maag, R-Lebanon, and state Sen. Bob Schuler, R-Sycamore Twp., have proposed legislation that would make it a first-degree misdemeanor for teens to send sexually provocative or nude pictures of themselves or others by cell phone.
As it stands, juveniles now could face felony sex charges as well as sex offender registration.
That’s what officials are doing, but what should parents do? Add it to the list of other uncomfortable discussions you must have with your child, experts say.
Parents discuss safe sex or abstinence. They tell them not to take drugs or drink alcohol, especially when driving. They likely even talk to them about dating violence.
These topics are discussed because they are issues parents could see their child facing. But one in five teenagers has sexted, according to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.
Catch up with technology. Your kids have.
When it comes to sexting, a simple cell phone can be dangerous, said Jennifer Austin Leigh, known as Dr. Jenn, who is a life coach for teen girls and their mothers.
A cell phone should not be handed over to a child without instructions and rules, because even the oldest teenagers are not old enough to appreciate its power, she said.
“You just don’t hand the phone over, just like you don’t hand the keys over to the car when they are 16,” she said.
Leigh said the reason for sending a provocative picture is obvious, but the payoff is brief.
“A girl thinks, ‘If I send a guy a naked picture, for a few minutes while he is staring at me I got his attention,’ ” Leigh said. “And they do, but what they don’t realize is the next naked picture is going to have same arousal, same intensity. So it doesn’t make these girls special at all.”
Contact this reporter at (937) 225-2216 or kmargolis@DaytonDailyNews.com.
There are many ways to keep your children from sexting, ranging from clear, concise conversations to downright snooping on them.
• What kind of pictures are safe to send? The kind you approve. Tell your children they may not send any photo of themselves via computer or cell phone without your approval.
The intention is not just to snoop, but to give a second opinion. A picture at a slumber party could seem innocent to your teen-age daughter, but in the wrong hands and sent through the Internet repeatedly it could literally be considered pornography.
• When should I have this discussion? When you put a phone or computer able to send pictures into your child’s hands, you should talk about this.
• How involved should I be with their computer use? Make rules about the cell phone and computer. Tell them you will look at their cell phone and computer history. Also, get a Facebook, MySpace and Twitter account and ask your child for access to theirs.
• How much should I discuss the ramifications of sexting? Tell your children that if he or she receives a picture and then goes on to distribute it he or she could be prosecuted for pornography. Tell your teenager that a picture or him or her that is sent does not just stop at one person’s inbox. It could end up on Internet Web sites.
• What should my child do if he or she receives a picture? You cannot emphasize enough that any criminal offenses occur when a picture is distributed, not simply received. So if your child gets a picture that could be considered a form of sexting, tell them to delete it immediately. If they are unsure, tell them to always ask for your opinion. Create an open, nonjudgmental dialogue about this before it happens.
• Can the wireless company help me? Yes, you can block third-party applications on your child’s phone. These ringtones, games, apps cost money and can contain explicit content.
• I’m still worried. Should I snoop? Look at their cell phone inbox and sent emails and the history on their computer without telling them. Search deleted files as well. If your child has erased all evidence of phone and computer activity, you have a problem. First, ask them about it. They may need to talk to you and not meaning to do something wrong. If they are evasive, stop paying for extra services like text messaging or take the computer or cell phone away.
Sources
Dr. Jenn – The No. 1 Teen Girl Expert in America: www.doctorjennforgirls.com Darcy Family Circle magazine: www.parents.com/teens-tweens/
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