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Home > Blogs > Women's Life > Archives > 2011 > June > 02 > Entry
The art of the mix tape
Ah, the mix tape. When you want to whisper sweet nothings but are coming up with just plain nothings, leave it to the pros to wax poetic for you.
As Plato said oh so long ago, there’s nothing new under the sun, so there’s a good chance that what you want to say has already been written - hopefully by someone who knows how to rhyme. Extreme’s “More Than Words” when that’s all you ever needed her to show. The Cure’s “Lovesong” for the long-distance relationship or the spouse overseas. Nazareth’s “Love Hurts” for the post-breakup, I-want-you-back mix - or J. Geils Band’s “Love Stinks” when you don’t want them back.
Hmm. Is it just me, or did the 80s really take the tacky, technicolor cake on love songs?
It seems that as long as there is rewritable media, the mix tape format will endure. When I say mix tape, I really mean everything from the old-fashioned, recorded-off-the-radio cassette, to a CD burned when CD burners were the hot new thing, to a personalized playlist or Pandora radio station. (I’m not sure what will come next. Beaming songs directly into your lover’s brain?) They make a great gift - they’re inexpensive, easy to put together at the last minute, portable and thoughtful.
But before you go putting your library on shuffle and presenting it to your sweetie, take note: there is an art to the mix tape. Some songs just scream (or gently croon) to be included, while others should be used selectively. Of course, this all depends on your sense of humor and how much sweet and sappy you can put up with, but some general rules of thumb still apply.
So if you have an upcoming mix-tape-worthy occasion, you may want to keep these tips in mind.
Decide first what the intent of your mix is: to communicate a specific message, or to just compile a bunch of songs you both like. For instance, “Tainted Love” might be the song you both karaoke to in the car, but the title alone leaves some room for interpretation, which might not end up in your favor.
This one is obvious but easily overlooked: choose songs that have specific meanings to you and your partner. Examples: A song you danced to together on a cruise or at your wedding, your favorite makeout song, or a song that uses his or her name. Be careful with that last one, though - think “Sweet Caroline,” not “Stacy’s Mom.”
Avoid resorting to the popular love song of the moment on the radio. One or two is okay, but this is a musical love letter, not a time capsule of today’s Hot 100. One mix tape I got was definitely stuck in the times, including Crazy Town’s “Butterfly.” Know that song? No? That’s because it was played nonstop during the summer of 1999 until everyone was just plain sick of it and never wanted to hear it again. You probably don’t want your honey skipping over half the songs on your list because he or she heard them at the dentist’s office, the grocery store and in a commercial for an online dating site.
Variety is desirable. Boyz II Men, Seal and Sade have all performed some beautiful love songs, but they tend to bleed into each other. Likewise, you should not aim to make a Greatest Hits compilation of your lover’s favorite band - they probably already have one. Remember: this is a MIX tape. Choose songs that will get different reactions - one to make him or her laugh or cry, one to elicit a specific memory, one to sing or dance along to, and maybe even one for the bedroom, wink wink.
Don’t overdo it. A mix tape is a good gift idea or last-minute fallback every once in a while, but if you create a new mix for every occasion, you might start to look a little cheap. Just saying. Nobody stays with a one-trick pony.
Musically talented? Try making a mix of covers. My younger brother is a talented musician and singer, and my mom used to love to listen to him practice on his keyboard in his bedroom. So when he moved away to college, he recorded himself playing and singing several of her favorites and put it on a CD for her. And when he saw an old piano in the corner of the reception hall at my wedding, he ran out to the car to listen to and write down the lyrics to Ben Folds’ “The Luckiest” on a napkin so he could come back in and play it for us. All together now: Awww!
Mix tapes alone are a little cliche, but in a sweet way, because they can also be creative - kind of like the macaroni art every child makes in grade school. But if you’re going to go for a cliche gift, don’t go for the cliche songs unless they also have a special meaning in your relationship. Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” has been done and overdone. Olivia Newton John’s “I Honestly Love You,” Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes,” Sting’s “Every Breath You Take” … basically, if it’s been used in a movie (let alone many movies), spin the wheel again, my friend. If you must use one of these, maybe look for a remix or modern cover just to switch it up.
Lonely or recently single? Create a mix tape for yourself! Music can uplift a sorrowful soul or nurture your heartbreak, depending on what stage of grief you’re in. It might be a good idea to start sad (Sinead O’Connor’s “Nothing Compares 2 U”) so you can expunge all those bad feelings, maybe include something angry (Jasmine Sullivan’s “Bust Your Windows”), but then end it on a happy note (Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” or Cee Lo Jones’ “F* You”). Or you might make the mix you’d love to leave on your ex’s doorstep - but I wouldn’t necessarily recommend actually delivering it. It’s like the therapy exercise of writing a letter you never intend to send: use it to get things off your chest but keep it to yourself.
Here are a few of my personal favorites:
Michael Jackson, “Butterflies” - not one of his more well-known songs, but it’s lovely.
The Beatles, “When I’m Sixty-Four” - whimsical and catchy.
Bryan Adams, “Heaven” - I heard an a capella version of this that made me cry.
Doobie Brothers, “Black Water” - this is our car karaoke song.
Eric Clapton & B.B. King, “Come Rain or Come Shine” - I’m a sucker for the blues.
Bob Marley, “Turn Your Lights Down Low” - who knew reggae could be romantic?
Queen, “You’re My Best Friend” - because this is what it all boils down to.
Your turn: What are some of the best and worst mix tapes you’ve gotten? If you were to make one today, what songs would you use?
Permalink | Comments (2) | Post your comment | Categories: Relationships
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By Nostalgia
June 3, 2011 8:52 AM | Link to this
Absolutely no rap. Beatles, Doors, Blood, Sweat & Tears, Glenn Campbell.
By AuthodaArrott
June 5, 2011 12:07 AM | Link to this
I’ve been visiting your blog for a while now and I always find a gem in your new posts. Thanks for sharing.