http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/ Stories, facts and every day whimsy from the North Valley's schools, cities, villages and people gathered by reporter and columnist Doug Page en-us dpage@coxohio.com 2010-03-17T14:38:17-05:00 hourly 1 2000-01-01T12:00+00:00 http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/entries/2010/03/17/a_perfect_storm_swamps_a_doofu.html Englewood cops called it a perfect storm. And it hit a perfect doofus. It started on a dark and snowy night earlier this month when some thief in the night, aka Doofus, made off with two dirt bikes strapped to... Englewood cops called it a perfect storm. And it hit a perfect doofus. It started on a dark and snowy night earlier this month when some thief in the night, aka Doofus, made off with two dirt bikes strapped to a trailer in the driveway of a local residence. The homeowner explained the bikes belong to her brother, who had dropped them off on his move from Southern California to New Hampshire. The lock had been cut to lower the trailer’s ramp, and the tie-down straps on each bike sliced clean. There were few, if any, clues. A BOLO — that’s cop-speak for “be on the look out” — for the bikes was sent to area law enforcement. It appeared at first blush that Doofus might get away with it. Except the bikes’ owner — he was in New Hampshire — was, as he put it, one angry biker. Hearing that a doofus had absconded with his bikes, the owner went on-line to a popular Web site, long known for selling items of questionable ownership. The owner found a seller in the Dayton area willing to part with two bikes for a ridiculously low price. He texted the seller, aka Doofus, expressing an interest in buying the bikes. Could the seller, perhaps, send him a picture? Doofus immediately sent back from his cell phone two pictures, including one that had a green emissions sticker required by the state of California prominently displayed on the front fork of one bike. The owner then e-mailed Englewood cops. Detective Dave Collins jumped on the case like a hungry dog on a meaty soup bone. He immediately got a court order for the telephone company and the Web site to obtain information about Doofus. From the photos, Collins figured out the bikes were in an attached garage with a sign hanging on the wall that read: “Complaint Department” with the picture of a hand grenade with the numbered tag hanging from the pin. Within 48 hours. Collins had the Doofus’ name and address. With all that information, Collins was able to get a judge to approve a search warrant for Doofus’ residence. When officers arrived, they found both bikes in the garage, the cut tie-down straps still attached to the handle bars, plus a pair of bolt cutters and the lock cut from the trailer. Doofus first said he bought the bikes from a guy down the street, then claimed he got them from a fellow in Trotwood. Finally, near tears, Doofus admitted he took the bikes. He was given a ride to the county lockup. Prosecutors charged Doofus with felony grand theft auto. As for the bikes’ owner, he has only one regret. “I wish I could have been there,” he said by telephone from New Hampshire. “I hope he learned his lesson.” “It was the perfect storm,” Sgt. Mike Lang said. “We had an empowered victim and a dedicated detective.” And it didn’t hurt that Doofus is 18, and the bike owner is a software engineer who’s been around the block more than once. 16994003@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/ 2010-03-17T14:38:17-05:00 dpage@coxohio.com http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/entries/2010/03/10/if_he_was_trying_to.html If he was trying to be inconspicuous, the driver of the Ford pickup was a failure. It was 3 o’clock on a Friday morning when the Englewood officer spotted the pickup northbound on Main Street. What attracted the officer’s attention... If he was trying to be inconspicuous, the driver of the Ford pickup was a failure. It was 3 o’clock on a Friday morning when the Englewood officer spotted the pickup northbound on Main Street. What attracted the officer’s attention was the truck was driving on its right front rim. The tire was flat and shredded. The officer quickly stopped the pickup, noting the driver pulled over the curb. When he approached the pickup, the 21-year-old driver appeared “stupefied”, and there was a strong odor of alcohol wafting from the truck cab. “What’s going on?” the officer asked. “My truck started shaking,” the driver responded. Asked if he had an idea why his truck was shaking, the driver replied, “Vibrations.” Taking into account the driver’s appearance, slurred and thick speech, uncoordinated movements and brilliant response, the officer concluded the driver “was one of the most obviously intoxicated drivers I had witnessed in 18 years as a police officer.” When asked if he had been imbibing, the driver giggled and allowed he’d had five or six beers. At the conclusion of the field sobriety tests, the officer said, “You’re way too drunk to be driving.” To which the driver responded with a laugh, “We both know that, don’t we?” The driver was cited for drunken driving and taken to the county lockup. 16907803@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/ Cop reports we love 2010-03-10T16:13:28-05:00 dpage@coxohio.com http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/entries/2010/03/02/no_we_are_not_as_dumb_as_you_a.html We do not often read about master criminals in police reports. Master criminals don’t often get caught. Instead, we are treated to people who believe they are the rocket scientists of the criminal world. Case in point is the woman... We do not often read about master criminals in police reports. Master criminals don’t often get caught. Instead, we are treated to people who believe they are the rocket scientists of the criminal world. Case in point is the woman stopped for speeding by Englewood police in the dark hours of a Wednesday morning. She told the officer she did not have her drivers license with her, but offered the first five digits of her Social Security number, claiming she could not remember her last four digits — something about getting those numbers confused with her daughter’s Social Security number. She gave a name and birth date. Asked where she was coming from, she named a nearby grocery store and pointed to the back seat filled with grocery bags — and two open cans of beer. (Brilliant!) Asked if she had been drinking, the woman said absolutely not. (Perhaps she was letting the beer breathe on the drive home so she could decant and quaff the rare vintage on arrival). The officer returned to his cruiser and checked his computer using the information given by the woman. (Note to master criminals: police cars now come equipped with computers. Thought you might be interested.) The officer could find no exact match. So he pulled up the drivers license photo for the name the woman had given him. (Yes, master criminal, computers can be used to view pictures). Not the same woman. The officer returned to the woman’s vehicle and asked about a black purse nestled amongst the grocery bags in the back seat. Was that her’s? No, she responded, it belongs to the vehicle owner’s girlfriend and, no, she did not know the girlfriend’s name. (Right). Long story short, officer asks for the purse, and discovers an ID for one person and a checkbook for another. The woman driver says she has no idea who those people are. The officer puts her in the back seat of his cruiser and goes to work on the computer and contacts dispatch. Within minutes, the ID is traced to a woman who was assaulted and robbed of her purse several days earlier. Tracing the credit cards from the stolen purse, the officer discovers they’ve been used at several big box retailers. A search of the vehicle finds another check book in another name and several receipts from department stores. Checking the receipts against the check books, the officer concludes the items purchased were paid for by checks from both check books. The woman driver maintains it’s not her purse though she is unable to explain why the business card of her probation officer is found in the purse. Finally the woman admits she’s been lying all along. (I’m shocked, shocked I say). A quick records search shows the woman has no drivers license but quite a record for forgery and drug offenses. She was taken to the county lockup on suspicion of forgery, receiving stolen property and obstructing official business. I suppose if you’re staring at a return trip to the state pen, you’ll try any lie no matter how obvious. But these would make a politician blush. 16817503@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/ Cop reports we love 2010-03-02T14:22:24-05:00 dpage@coxohio.com http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/entries/2010/02/23/englewood_police_were_sent_to.html Englewood police were sent to one of the city’s busier intersections just after dark on a Tuesday evening. There in the right-turn lane they found a young woman in tears, standing next to her car. “He tried to kill me,”... Englewood police were sent to one of the city’s busier intersections just after dark on a Tuesday evening. There in the right-turn lane they found a young woman in tears, standing next to her car. “He tried to kill me,” she told officers. According to the woman, another car had been tailgating her for several blocks, trying to pass her. At the red light, she said, the driver of the following vehicle got out of his car and starting pushing on her car. She told police she got out of her car to get his license number and call police. It was then, she said, the man hit her several times in the head with his fist. The man return to his car, she said, and ran into her with his vehicles. Two witnesses confirmed the woman’s story, gave police the license plate of the man’s car and directed them to a nearby parking lot where they saw the car pull in. A medic was called to treat the woman’s apparent minor injuries. The two witnesses said the woman did not appear to have provoked the attack in any manner. While one set of officers were questioning the woman, three other officers went looking for the other driver. They found the car where witnesses said it might be and walked into the neighboring business to ask if anyone had been driving the vehicle. A gentleman stepped forward and told officers: “It was me. I know what this is about.” He was asked to step outside to tell his side of the story. According to the gentleman, he was following a vehicle that was “brake-checking” him. (No, I don’t know what that means, but I am sure a gentle reader will be able to lift my veil of ignorance.) The gentleman also said the vehicle he was following tried several times tried to force him into on-coming traffic. When stopped at the red light, the gentleman said he got out of his car and slapped the spoiler on the back of the car in front of him, asking the driver — who he said was male — what he thought he was doing. (Police and witnesses disagree with the gentleman on this point. The driver was clearly female. Go figure). The gentleman went on to say, the driver got out of his (her) vehicle, called the gentleman a nasty name and warned him “to get back in his car before he (she) called his (her) homies to take care of him.” The gentleman then said “the guy (gal) made an aggressive fighting lunge toward him” causing the gentleman to return to his car and drive off. Review of the traffic camera footage at the intersection showed the woman driver “pushed aside” by the gentleman’s vehicle. The alleged assault did not occur within the area where the camera was aimed, according to police. The gentleman was arrested on suspicion of felonious assault and taken to the county lockup. Prosecutors approved the charge and the matter was sent directly to the grand jury, which has yet to hear the case. However, it did occur within the sight of the two witnesses. Perhaps the gentleman was unaware there were two witnesses to back up the woman’s story. 16751703@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/ Cop reports we love 2010-02-23T14:56:00-05:00 dpage@coxohio.com http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/entries/2010/02/16/a_couple_came_home_to.html A couple came home to find a bullet hole in their bedroom window. They call Englewood police, who found more than a bullet hole. The round traveled through the bedroom, passed through the bedroom wall into the bathroom, through a... A couple came home to find a bullet hole in their bedroom window. They call Englewood police, who found more than a bullet hole. The round traveled through the bedroom, passed through the bedroom wall into the bathroom, through a glass shower door and the fiberglass shower unit, through another wall and into a utility room, where the spent round was found on the floor. By lining up all the holes, officers were able to backtrack the bullet’s trajectory to the wall of the garage next door. Right where they expected, officers found a bullet hole in the exterior brick of the garage. From the evidence, it appeared the bullet had been fired from the inside of the garage. No one was home when police knocked on the door of the neighboring residence. Coming back the next day, a 35-year-old gentleman was home. He said he did not own a gun and knew nothing about the bullet hole in his garage. The officer noted in his report that he had to conduct his interview through the partially open front door. The officer noted pieces of Styrofoam lying outside the garage door. The Styrofoam had red circles in the shape of a target and what appeared to be bullet holes. Suspicious, perhaps. Officers returned later that day and talked again with the gentleman. His mother was also there. “They suddenly fell into disbelief that someone shot a gun off in their garage,” one officer wrote. He added the conversation was short-lived because “they were not being cooperative and would only talk to us through a window.” But police were far from finished. Three days later, they returned to the house with a search warrant. In the garage, they found what appeared to be bullet-riddled trash can, walls, Styrofoam, and 2-by-4’s. They collected bullets and shell casings — including .45- and .380-caliber — and shotgun pellets and wadding. A holster was also recovered. The mother, the homeowner, told police it must have been “my son’s enemies”. The gentleman was taken to the police station. The the gentleman claimed his enemies had shot up the garage and planted evidence in the house. The gentleman then said he had no more to say. He was taken to the county lockup where he was cited for discharging a firearm inside the city limits, a misdemeanor. 16683603@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/ Cop reports we love 2010-02-16T14:55:05-05:00 dpage@coxohio.com http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/entries/2010/02/10/brookville_officers_stopped_a.html Brookville officers stopped a weaving vehicle around 11 on a Monday night. They’d been alerted to a possible drunk driver by Clayton police. When asked if he had been drinking, the driver admitted he’d been quaffing Screwdrivers, a potent mixture... Brookville officers stopped a weaving vehicle around 11 on a Monday night. They’d been alerted to a possible drunk driver by Clayton police. When asked if he had been drinking, the driver admitted he’d been quaffing Screwdrivers, a potent mixture of vodka and orange juice. When asked if he would take a field sobriety test, the gentleman said, “I will because I’ve been drinking.” He failed the test, likely because, as he said, he’d been drinking. The gentleman then made the perceptive observation, “I know I’m drunk.” Police also found a bag of suspected marijuana in the gentleman’s trouser pocket. Taken to the police station, the gentleman took the breath test, blowing a 0.159 — a mere 0.001 off doubling the state’s legal limit of 0.08. When asked if there was someone police should call, the gentlemen — ever perceptive — responded, “I’m too (messed) up to remember.” He was cited for drunken driving, driving under suspension, marked lane violation and possession of marijuana. He was given a ride to the county lockup. Perhaps this is a case of perception, indeed, being reality. 16623403@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/ Cop reports we love 2010-02-10T12:30:44-05:00 dpage@coxohio.com http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/entries/2010/02/09/all_he_said_was_ouch.html An Englewood officer was called to a local gas station shortly before 10 on a Friday evening on the report of a subject passed out in a vehicle. The officer found the gentleman slumped over in the driver’s seat of... An Englewood officer was called to a local gas station shortly before 10 on a Friday evening on the report of a subject passed out in a vehicle. The officer found the gentleman slumped over in the driver’s seat of his pickup with a bottle of fine Kentucky sipping whiskey between his legs. The officer removed the keys from the ignition and the bottle from the gentleman’s prostrated body. Then he tried to wake the gentleman — who did not wish to be aroused. Several times, the officer tried to wake the gentleman, and each time the gentleman either did not respond or tried to push the officer away. The gentleman crossed the line when he swung his arm at the officer. The officer ordered the gentleman to put his hands behind his back and get out of the pickup. As the officer stepped back from the pickup, the gentleman bull-rushed him. The officer was able to draw and fire his Taser, but the probes did not penetrate the gentleman’s jacket. Several times, the officer used his Taser to stun the man with little or no effect. The only reaction was an occasional “ouch” as the two tussled. The officer was finally able to get the gentleman to the ground and cuffed. He was taken to the police station where his breath test came back at a breath-taking 0.303 — nearly four times the legal limit of 0.08. The gentleman was cited for resisting arrest and having physical control of a vehicle while intoxicated, and taken to the county lockup. One could assume the gentleman truly was feeling no pain. 16612903@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/ Cop reports we love 2010-02-09T14:02:41-05:00 dpage@coxohio.com http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/entries/2010/02/08/it_was_around_745_on.html It was around 7:45 on a Thursday evening. A Clayton police sergeant was in a local convenience store when a young man wandered in and asked the clerk for a pack of matches and directions to the women’s restroom. Curious.... It was around 7:45 on a Thursday evening. A Clayton police sergeant was in a local convenience store when a young man wandered in and asked the clerk for a pack of matches and directions to the women’s restroom. Curious. The sergeant stuck around for 15 to 20 minutes until the young man came out of the restroom and then asked if he could speak with the young man. Asked why he was in the restroom for so long, the young man said he was relieving himself. Then the officer asked to see the pack of matches the young man had gotten from the clerk. Noticing several matches missing and noting the young man was chewing on what appeared to be a syringe cap, the sergeant suggested the young man take off his sweatshirt. No great surprise: there was a fresh injection site, plus numerous older track marks on his arms. The young man explained the syringe cap was from his girlfriend’s insulin needle; he was chewing on the cap because he was trying to stop smoking; and the needle marks were actually old injuries. Oh-for-three, young man. When patted down, the sergeant and a second officer called to the scene found 22 capsules of suspected heroin hidden away in the young man’s sock. He was given a free ride to the county lockup on suspicion of drug possession. 16603703@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/ Cop reports we love 2010-02-08T15:43:27-05:00 dpage@coxohio.com http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/entries/2010/02/04/englewood_officers_were_called.html Englewood officers were called to assist a driver who had run off the road in the dark of a Monday morning. The driver was uninjured, though his pants and boots were covered in mud after trudging from his car back... Englewood officers were called to assist a driver who had run off the road in the dark of a Monday morning. The driver was uninjured, though his pants and boots were covered in mud after trudging from his car back to the roadway. An officer observed the distinct odor of alcohol on the gentleman’s breath, bloodshot eyes, a distinct side-to-side swaying and a disjointed manner of speaking. The gentleman was asked to take a field sobriety test, which he failed. When cuffed, the gentleman told officers they had no right to arrest him, and his lawyer would take care of everything. While awaiting a tow truck, the officer reported the gentleman “spontaneously uttered that he had been smoking marijuana tonight, but he felt OK to drive.” The gentleman was cited for operating a vehicle while intoxicated and given a ride to the county lockup. Perhaps the gentleman’s lawyer will advise him that being spontaneous — whether running your mouth or smoking your brains out — may not always be wise. 16568903@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/ Cop reports we love 2010-02-04T12:49:29-05:00 dpage@coxohio.com http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/entries/2010/01/26/stupid_is_no_way_to_go_through.html Just before 10 o’clock on a Tuesday morning, an Englewood officer spotted a young man crossing one of the city’s busier intersections. A yellow lab was following the young man, who was puffing on what turned out to be a... Just before 10 o’clock on a Tuesday morning, an Englewood officer spotted a young man crossing one of the city’s busier intersections. A yellow lab was following the young man, who was puffing on what turned out to be a marijuana cigarette. When the officer pulled up next to the young pedestrian, the officer reported the strong odor of marijuana. When asked if he was smoking marijuana, the 18-year-old denied it. The young man said he was going to a nearby gas station to fill out a job application. “I told him smoking pot and smelling like it when you walk in to apply for a job is not the way to get hired,” the officer wrote in his report. The young man then admitted to smoking a blunt, which he threw in the street when the officer pulled up. When asked if he had any more pot, the young man said no. But when the officer patted down the young man, he found a bag of weed in the young man’s back pocket. The officer loaded the young man and the dog in the back of his cruiser. It was then the young man utter what can only be categorized as an understatement: “I’m sorry. I know it was stupid.” Let’s see: smoking dope on a weekday morning while walking through the one of the busiest intersections in the city en route to a job interview. Yep. Stupid. 16469903@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/ Cop reports we love 2010-01-26T11:48:25-05:00 dpage@coxohio.com http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/entries/2010/01/20/wasted_and_wasting_time.html Englewood police were called to a local eatery late one night on the report of a collision involving a suspected drunken driver. (Presumed innocent, of course, until the gentleman blew 0.395 on the breath test. In Ohio, 0.08 is considered... Englewood police were called to a local eatery late one night on the report of a collision involving a suspected drunken driver. (Presumed innocent, of course, until the gentleman blew 0.395 on the breath test. In Ohio, 0.08 is considered drunk.) Police arrived and spoke with the victim who said she was eating her meal when she saw a car attempt to park next to her vehicle. Instead, the driver attempted to park in her vehicle. The driver, after bashing the victim’s car, moved his car to the back lot, staggered into the restaurant, sat himself at the counter and asked for a meal. The officer escorted the gentleman outside. When questioned, the gentleman appeared incoherent. (At five times the legal limit that comes as no big surprise.) The gentleman admitted to officers he’d over-served himself on beer and vodka. When told he needed to take a field sobriety test, the gentleman responded, “You’re wasting your time.” When he failed the test, the gentleman responded, perhaps with a hint of self-satisfaction, “I told you that you were wasting your time. I’m drunk.” At the police station, the gentleman agreed to a breath test, recording his breath-taking score. While waiting for a ride to the county lockup, the gentleman “made continuous request that I provide him with beer, vodka and crack cocaine,” the officer reported. “The requests went unfulfilled. 16410603@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/ Cop reports we love 2010-01-20T14:30:53-05:00 dpage@coxohio.com http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/entries/2010/01/19/alerted_by_the_business_alarm.html Alerted by the business’ alarm, Englewood officers descended on a trio of hapless thieves just after 10 on cold January night at a local equipment dealership. When officers arrived, the father and son — not Batman and Robin these two... Alerted by the business’ alarm, Englewood officers descended on a trio of hapless thieves just after 10 on cold January night at a local equipment dealership. When officers arrived, the father and son — not Batman and Robin these two — where trying to haul a snowblower and a wood chipper into the back of a minivan. Step-mom was at the wheel of the alleged getaway vehicle. With weapons drawn the officers ordered the trio to stop what they were doing. Father replied, “We’re sorry, we’ll put them back,” according to the officers’ report. No dice. The pair was ordered to their knees. Dad complied while Junior took off on foot. One officer alerted dispatch of the fleeing lad, and dad followed suit fleeing the other direction. The officer holster his weapon, drew his Taser and ordered dad to stop. Dad did not; he got knocked to the ground by the Taser. Meanwhile, the other officer got step-mom out of the vehicle and cuffed. Once dad and step-mom where in the back of a squad car, the second officer started tracking Junior through the snow. The clear footprints led the officer to a large oil drum with two shoes sticking out from behind it. There was also the sound of sobbing. When ordered to show himself, the 18-year-old lad apologized for running, saying he was scared. All three were taken to the police station for questioning. Dad said he wanted an attorney. Step-mom said she was picking up Junior at a nearby fast food place when dad and son started loading the van with the snowblower and wood chipper. She said she told the men to stop, believing the equipment was stolen. Then the cops showed up. Junior said he was home with step-mom and dad when dad told him he knew of an easy way to get some money. Junior said step-mom drove them to the dealership where they attempted to steal the equipment. Junior said when police arrived he freaked because he had never been arrested for anything. A computer check found a Juvenile Court warrant for Junior. The family was given a free ride to the county lockup where they were jailed on a laundry list of charges. Family values of a sort, I suppose. 16395403@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/ Cop reports we love 2010-01-19T13:52:47-05:00 dpage@coxohio.com http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/entries/2010/01/15/a_pain_in_the_neck_and_tough_t.html An early morning phone call from a hysterical woman had three Englewood officers rushing to local residence. When they arrived, they found a man and a woman had been beaten. They immediately started looking for the suspect who had fled... An early morning phone call from a hysterical woman had three Englewood officers rushing to local residence. When they arrived, they found a man and a woman had been beaten. They immediately started looking for the suspect who had fled out the back door of the residence. One officer spotted the suspect slipping into backyard shed. Two officers approached the shed with caution, weapons at the ready. One officer peeked in window and spotted the suspect curled up on the floor, covered with a jacket attempting to hide behind an overturned bucket. The officers opened the door and ordered the suspect to show his hands. He did not comply.They repeated the order several times before the suspect final raised his left hand; his right was still buried in a coat pocket. When the suspect refused to comply with an order to show his right hand, the two officers moved forward, one using his foot to hold down the suspect’s right hand, the other grabbing his left. You can understand it was a tense situation. The officers got both the suspect’s hands behind his back and cuffed him. Then the fun began. Hauled to his feet, the suspect started cussing out the officers, suggesting some anatomically impossible activities.On his trip to the squad car, the officers reported the suspect would rock side-to-side in an effort to break free of their grip. Dispatch alerted the officers the suspect already was wanted on two warrants. The suspect — what a guy — continued to scream at officers after they seated him in the back of the squad car.Asked if he needed medical or any other assistance, the suspect said no. But five minutes later, the suspect began to complain of pains in his neck and throat, saying he could not swallow. (OK, I can’t help myself: You have to wonderwho was the pain in the neck and whose story might be tough to swallow.) While complaining of his injuries, the suspect began another cuss-laden rant toward the arresting officers. “I questioned why,” wrote one officer in his report, “he was screaming and yelling so much if he could not swallow; which brought on more vulgar language and abuse.” The suspect was cited assault and resisting arrest. The suspect has a previous conviction for domestic violence. 16358503@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/ Cop reports we love 2010-01-15T12:08:38-05:00 dpage@coxohio.com http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/entries/2010/01/12/you_may_call_it_something_else.html Englewood police were called to a parking lot accident around 7:30 one morning. Seeing that both drivers were unhurt, the officer was about to leave when she recognized one of the drivers. She’d arrested him a couple months prior and... Englewood police were called to a parking lot accident around 7:30 one morning. Seeing that both drivers were unhurt, the officer was about to leave when she recognized one of the drivers. She’d arrested him a couple months prior and knew he did not have a valid drivers license.The jig was up. The gentleman admitted his license was under suspension and wanted to know if he was headed for jail. Not this time, the officer responded, as long as he hadn’t done anything else wrong. The officer then asked if there was any damage to the gentleman’s car. He said no. The officer then noted the left rear tire was flat and the front bumper was missing. It was under the car. The officer then asked if the gentleman had been drinking. He claimed he had his last drink around 2 a.m., some five hours earlier. The officer called for assistance, and the gentleman was given a field sobriety test. He failed and was taken to the police station. At first, he agreed to a breath test, telling the officers he had to be sober. His car, he claimed, was equipped with an ignition interlock system. Such a system requires the driver to blow into a tube before the car will start. If alcohol is detected, the car will not start. The gentleman claimed his car started this morning, so he must be sober. The first breath test timed out before it could get a reading. Officers had already gotten a printout the man’s record that showed the ignition system had been removed from the car several months prior. The gentleman, seeing the printout on a desk, declined a second test. When the officer asked why he had lied to her, according to the police report, the gentleman said he hadn’t lied. He just hadn’t told her the whole truth. The gentleman was released to his mother. He was cited for felony operating a vehicle under the influence and misdemeanor driving under an OVI suspension. 16318003@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/ Cop reports we love 2010-01-12T14:22:01-05:00 dpage@coxohio.com http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/entries/2010/01/07/good_time_to_move_your_car.html Not planning to drive anywhere today? Good choice given the impending snowageddon. But it is a great time for a short trip. Move your car off the street and into the driveway. Don’t have a driveway? Ask a neighbor if... Not planning to drive anywhere today? Good choice given the impending snowageddon. But it is a great time for a short trip. Move your car off the street and into the driveway. Don’t have a driveway? Ask a neighbor if you can borrow a stretch of his or her’s. It will help the snowplow drivers later today. Just a thought. Happy snow day, ya’ll. 16266503@http://www.daytondailynews.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/dayton/northvalleynotebook/ Weather 2010-01-07T11:12:49-05:00 dpage@coxohio.com