Three stories: same ending

By Doug Page | Tuesday, November 24, 2009, 03:06 PM

First, we have the gentleman driving his 2005 Mercedes in a somewhat erratic manner down National Road. Driving down the middle of Englewood’s main drag at 1:25 in the morning will bring you to the attention of police.

Pulled over, the gentleman did the usual fumbling for his drivers license and insurance card. Stumbling while exiting his luxury automobile, the gentleman asked officers to delay his field sobriety test while he tied his shoe.

Bending over, he fell. He spent two minutes on the pavement attempting to tie his shoe. When assisted to his feet, it came as no great surprise that the gentleman failed the sobriety test. He was charged with drunken driving and released to his mother.

Second, we have the case of the wandering Dayton man. Once again in the pre-dawn darkness, police spotted the man speeding and drifting from lane to lane. The officer first turned on his overhead lights. No response. Then it was the siren. No response. Almost a-half mile later, the gentleman pulled into a parking lot.

Asked where he was coming from, the gentleman said he wasn’t sure. Asked where he was, the gentleman correctly named the street, saying he was trying to return his home in downtown Dayton. He, too, failed his field sobriety test. On his way to the county lockup, he told police he’d been drinking at a Dayton bar near his home. The driver said he should have walked home because somehow he ended up in Vandalia. Must have made a very wrong turn.

And finally yet another early morning wanderer. Police pulled him over for speeding. Despite all of his impending problems, the gentleman honestly answered the officers’ questions.

No, he had no drivers license. A record check found he hadn’t had one since 2002.

Had he had a little bit to drink? No, he said, he had had more than a little bit.

How much? “I really couldn’t tell you.” Too much to be driving? “Of course.”

He, too, failed his field sobriety test and agreed to a breath test, blowing .225 percent, nearly three times the 0.08 percent legal limit. En route to the county lockup, he passed out or fell asleep several times, according to the police report.

As my father once told me, nothing good happens after 1 o’clock in the morning.

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