If stupidity were illegal

By Doug Page | Tuesday, November 17, 2009, 01:00 PM

In the wee hours of a Monday morning, an Englewood police officer spotted a car with an expired license plate.

Stopping the car, the officer found the gentleman had neither his drivers license nor proof of insurance on him. He did, however, have the smell of alcohol on him. Checking his license history, the officer also found the gentleman did not have driving privileges because of numerous open suspensions. Not particularly good thinking.

When asked, the gentleman said he thought he’d taken care of that trivial matter. The officer then had the gentleman perform a field sobriety test. Part way through the test, the gentleman had another thought and told the officer he was going back to his car.

It was at this point, the gentleman was arrested and cuffed. A search of the car turned a dope pipe, which the gentleman claimed as his, according to the police report. The gentleman also refused to take a breath test and refused to tell police his address. Good thinking.

While in the back of the squad car, the gentleman managed to slip his handcuffed hands from behind his back to his front. More good thinking. He was recuffed and placed in leg restraints.

En route to the county lockup, the gentleman began berating the officer with profane language. Upon arrival, a corrections officer opened the squad car’s back door to free the gentleman’s feet. The gentleman then tried to kick the corrections officer. More stellar thinking.

As a result, the gentleman was cited for operating a vehicle under the influence, expired registration, drug paraphernalia and failure to disclose personal information — all misdemeanors.

Were stupidity illegal, he might be facing a felony

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