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Home > Blogs > Adventures in Motherhood > Archives > 2010 > December > 14 > Entry
Son asks the dreaded question …
(Warning: Content may not be suitable for children expecting a visit from a special person residing at the North Pole.)
There are some subjects parents dread discussing with their children, however, they cannot be avoided forever.
One can never prepare early enough for those topics to be broached; children are growing up so fast these days. They see movies, listen to the “older kids” on the bus and grow into their own early assumptions.
I have read books on the subject, discussed it with friends who have already had to cope with it but, I didn’t think it would happen so soon. My near 7-year-old son caught me by surprise.
“Mom,” he said quietly. “Is Santa Claus real?”
My eyes flashed wide as I glanced at my other (younger) son who, fortunately, was engrossed in his own thing.
“Why do you ask that?” I asked while my brain scrambled for an answer.
I am still enjoying this Santa Claus thing and there are two more “believers” in our household (maybe only one, our daughter is too young to understand), but how will I keep him from telling them? He just can’t find out yet!
“Someone in my class said he wasn’t real,” my son replied.
“Oh. Well, what do you think?”
He gave this question some thought while I tip-toed around on egg-shells, worried I might say something wrong and blow the whole thing.
After all, Santa is the man who helps us celebrate Jesus’ birth, and that’s a pretty important job. My son looked at me wide-eyed, almost pleading me to confirm the existence of Santa Claus.
So I did.
“Do you really think Mommy and Daddy could do all the work Santa does?”
He simply said, “No.”
Whew! Tragedy averted (with such a vote of confidence in his parents).
“But, how will he know we put the Christmas tree in a new place?”
“Maybe you could tell him in a letter or when you visit him,” I said.
He seemed happy with this idea and went on about his day without another word on the subject.
I breathed a sigh of relief, glad that my son continues to believe and Santa will squeeze down our chimney for at least one more Christmas.
Email this contributing writer at Motherhoodcolumn@yahoo.com.
Permalink | Comments (21) | Post your comment | Categories: Motherhood Column
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By NCF
December 20, 2010 12:00 AM | Link to this
Just watched a friend’s video on facebook, and remembered another thing about “Santa”… little kids often freak out when faced with a real-live Santa Ho Ho HO-ing at them in their own house. Parents laugh, and keep the video rolling, but never stopping the terror for the terrified kid. “Oh, it’s OK, it’s just ‘Santa’. Don’t you want to go see ‘Santa’?” As the kid screams with fright. Yeah, great idea, parents. Not!
By NCF
December 17, 2010 9:44 AM | Link to this
My sisters and I were raised without the ‘Santa is real’ lie because my Dad was apparently crushed when he found out there was no Santa. Nothing religious about it for my childhood. My wife was raised without Santa due to her being raised by a Baptist pastor, so her lack of Santa was based on religious principles, similar to ones which have already been expressed here. We have been raising our kids with the knowledge that Santa is not real, but that it’s a fun pretending thing. They grasp that, and did when they were little. (Hey, they also understand that Batman and Veggie Tales characters aren’t really real either. Come on, give your kids some credit for Pete’s sake.) We made sure, though, that they understood that they weren’t allowed to tell the truth to any kids that believe in Santa. That way we didn’t have you lying parents all mad at us. But all five of my kids love Christmas, love giving presents, love watching Christmas movies — even the ones about Santa — and they all have their own “Santa hats”. They have plenty of fun celebrating the birth of Christ in this way. The only dreaded questions in our house are dealing with things that are real: puberty, and getting Driver’s Licenses. Merry Christmas. My oldest will be on the roads soon. Watch out.
By Pharrell
December 15, 2010 2:51 PM | Link to this
I think most of those people wouldn’t say that she was lying about the birth of Christ, but that she was mistaken. And that would be billions of people who aren’t Christian, not millions.
By logicalgirl
December 15, 2010 1:55 PM | Link to this
Maria, there are millions of people across the world who are quite certain you are lying to your children about the birth of Christ. Are you so all knowing as to think that only your religion is correct and that those other millions of people are wrong? Many would suggest you are simply choosing which myth to pass along to your children.
By April
December 15, 2010 12:47 PM | Link to this
When I have kids they will learn about the historical Saint Nicholas, not some gimmicky advertising industry-created character. I am not going to lie to my kids. My parents didn’t do that to me so they didn’t have to worry about “dreaded questions”.
By nullity
December 15, 2010 11:49 AM | Link to this
OMG. for such a boring, stupid column, this has hit a nerve. still, boring nad pointless and studpid.
By b
December 15, 2010 10:55 AM | Link to this
So pretending you know there is a god is not lying to them? The fat fellow has nothing to do with Christ even if he had really been born. Which is debatable at least for those of us who don’t pretend we have the absolute truth.
By freedomlover
December 15, 2010 9:59 AM | Link to this
Lying to your kids is not child’s play. Parent’ lie to their children about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy,among other ungodly fairy tales, and then we are shocked to find a good number of kids on college campuses today denying the existence of God. After all, when the kids find out these are myths, why not God?
By Rabbit
December 15, 2010 9:14 AM | Link to this
Let the kids enjoy all the excitement that this holiday brings. The way Santa is shown in the stores and the media, the old dude has to be real. But then again, I’m a rabbit and I still believe there is still an Easter Bunny!!
By Maria
December 15, 2010 6:51 AM | Link to this
My kids are young- 4, 8 & 9 and don’t believe in Santa. Believe me, there is a light in their eyes on Christmas morning! It takes faith to believe in Christ’s birth as well as to believe in Santa. If I want my kids to believe the former why would I lie to them about the latter? I want my kids to believe in Christ’s birth and to have a mother who doesn’t lie to them! My son told a classmate last year at school, “I don’t like Santa, he takes away from the real meaning of Christmas which is Christ’s birth.” That’s my boy!
By Philman
December 15, 2010 5:42 AM | Link to this
He was created by the DEvil to Decieve the people into thinking if I’m Good I get a present, if I’m Bad I dont. NOW MOST PEOLPE THINK IF I’M GOOD I’LL GO TO HEAVEN. WRONG WRONG WRONG.. EPHESIANS 2:8-9 FOR BY GRACE ARE YE SAVED THROUGH FAITH AND THAT NOT OF YOURSELVES.IT IS A GIFT OF GOD. NOT OF WORKS, LEST ANY MAN SHOULD BOAST… ASK ANY ONE THIS QUESTION- IF YOU DIE WHERE WILL YOU GO HEAVEN OR HELL? 90% WILL SAY HEAVEN, NOW ASK WHY , 90% WILL SAY THEY HAVE BEEN PRETTY GOOD… THAT MY FRIEND’S IS THE SANTACLAUSE SYNDROME
By clp
December 14, 2010 10:26 PM | Link to this
I’m with Pharell, and no,’Really?’, I’m not childless. My husband and I raised two wonderful children without lying to them about a mythical gift-giving spook who watches their every move. They love the holidays as much as anyone, knowing any gifts they receive come from someone who loves them unconditionally. They’re 26 and 29 now, and not the least bit ‘warped’ from missing out on phony ‘innocence and wonder.’
By Still believin'
December 14, 2010 3:47 PM | Link to this
For the “why lie” people out there…..what is so wrong with wanting your children to keep that innocence and wonder? Kids grow up way too fast as previously stated and I don’t see anything wrong with letting them continue to believe in something magical to them. My 9 year old has asked me this year if he’s real because her friends don’t believe and I answered her with a resounding yes. I asked her if she believed and she said yes, so I told her that’s all that matters. I for one, don’t look forward to the day that my kids don’t have that light in their eye on Christmas morning. Call me selfish.
By really?
December 14, 2010 2:52 PM | Link to this
Merry Christmas, Pharrell. You are obviously childless. So sorry you don’t know that there is a Santa. My children are teenagers and while they may not believe the commericalized version, they know of the feeling in their hearts and minds when it comes to Santa. They understand that the season is about giving of yourself and that Santa is the symbol of that attitude. You will never convince them he doesn’t exist.
By Dad
December 14, 2010 1:59 PM | Link to this
As the father of 2 boys, ages 4 and 2 (and a baby girl due in the spring), my suggestion is that you tell your children about SAINT NICHOLAS, the very real Saint of the late 3rd to early 4th century, from whom we have derived the notion of the modern day Santa Claus. This will establish in a very real way the link to Jesus Christ, who is the reason for the season. I also recommend the Veggie Tales St. Nicholas DVD, which explains who he was in a very entertaining way that kids can understand. Don’t lie to your kids. Teach them the whole loving truth. May God be with us all.
By Believer's Mom
December 14, 2010 1:04 PM | Link to this
I faced the dreaded question last year from my then 8 yo daughter, disaster diverted with almost the same answer as in the story, and again this year “the question” reared it’s ugly head again and again disaster diverted. I know how the mother in this article feels I wish mine could stay young and believe forever.
By ginny
December 14, 2010 1:00 PM | Link to this
Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.
By Humbug
December 14, 2010 12:19 PM | Link to this
There’s no need to lie to kids. They can believe in Santa Claus as long as they want to. Any parent who dreads this question needs to grow up.
By Believe in the magic
December 14, 2010 11:12 AM | Link to this
@Pharrell - you must not have kids. If you did you would not have to ask the question.
By Pharrell
December 14, 2010 10:46 AM | Link to this
I was going to ask an honest question but I re-read the article and I have my answer. My question was “What’s the point of lying to kids about Santa Claus?” Seriously? Why do it? The answer apparently is “for my own personal amusement.”
By Whew!
December 14, 2010 9:55 AM | Link to this
I thought it was “where do babies come from?” or “Can I have the car keys?”