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Home > Blogs > Adventures in Motherhood > Archives > 2009 > August > 06 > Entry
For kids, sleepovers are cooler than the other side of the pillow
Are sleepovers more beloved these days, or have I just forgotten that joy of childhood?
I ask this question because, at least among kids that are around my sons’ ages, sleepovers appear to be the ultimate measure of buddy fun — especially in the summer.
In my older son’s circle of 10-year-olds, I would say there is at least one request for a sleepover in every three conversations.
(It must be noted, however, that there are those kids who skew this data; those who seem to be talking about sleeping at someone else’s house or asking to have a kid over every time they exhale.)
And my 8-year-old is starting to follow that trend as well. He had his first two sleepovers this summer — one he “hosted” and one away from home.
They went well, but the first one with him away was tough for me — even though he was just in a house a couple of streets over.
I told him the next day, “When we got home, I told Daddy that I missed you already and it had only been 10 minutes!”
Not willing to give into my babying him, he said: “Wouldn’t that have been more like three or four minutes?”
It’s like he is trying to make me not miss him.
But it all made me wonder what they found so alluring about sleepovers, since I didn’t remember them being quite that cool when I was their age.
Then again, maybe it’s just been too many years since I had to consider the concept for myself, and too many years since I have had to be the responsible party.
Sleepovers, it seems, are like jumping in puddles. When you are a kid, it is all about fun, but when you are an adult it is way more work than it’s worth.
And, like those puddles, kid sleepovers are not so fun for moms and dads. They either mean dealing with more kids and more noise or worrying whether your kid is OK at someone else’s house.
So, to keep me going through these next few years and to make me more willing to approve these little outings, I needed a little help remembering what was good about these alternate housing situations.
I started by asking my kids what they liked best about sleepovers. They both responded (in rare agreement): “Being with friends! Staying up late!”
That made sense, and got me thinking back to sleepovers when I was a kid.
I had my first one when I was 8, like my sons. I had a few girls over and it went pretty well; only one got homesick (or momsick, as I recall) and had to go home, and she was my cousin.
As I got older, the sleepovers increased to about a handful a year, largely due to the fact that my best friend lived about a block away.
But what did we do? When I first thought back to it, I only recalled waking up uncomfortable from sleeping on a couch or the floor and trying to find my toothbrush before I sat down to eat something strange for breakfast.
Upon further reflection, though, I remembered lots of giggling, running around and talking about the great mysteries of life — futures, dances and crushes.
And it made me smile to think of my kids having similar conversations.
Most of all, though, it reminded me what was at the heart of the sleepover: Freedom — freedom from our parents’ house, as well as freedom the usual parameters of life.
That joy, I can understand.
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Comments
By Kim
August 6, 2009 9:52 AM | Link to this
When I was a kid, it was a big deal for your friends to even get to come into the house! We were sent outside to play and I had to ask permission before my neighborhood besties were allowed to come inside - so a sleepover was REALLY a big deal. My very best friend Jan lived out in the country and her parents were best friends with mine. In the summer it was like our parents had shared custody of us - we would go back and forth between houses and it is a cherished childhood memory. I especially remember sitting up late on a Saturday night, with our blankets and pillows and popcorn in her darkened living room watching scary movies on Shock Theatre in our jammies. Good times!