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Home > Blogs > Adventures in Motherhood > Archives > 2009 > July > 16 > Entry
There is a big difference between ages 8 and 10
Two years might not seem like much of an age difference between siblings, but, as kids are growing up, that amount of time can be a chasm as far as maturity is concerned.
It’s not always that way. There have been years in my sons’ lives that the 23-month span between their births didn’t seem to matter.
For instance, when they were 5 and 7, and even 7 and 9, they enjoyed practically all of the same games and jokes, shared friends and had a relatively similar view of the world.
But this year, at ages 8 and 10, it is clear to see that the older one has moved on to that next square on the sidewalk of life — while his little brother remains behind, happily watching a trail of ants go by.
A few incidents of late have clued me in on this transition.
The first, which happened a couple of weeks ago, occurred when the 8-year-old and I were out driving. We were listening to the radio, and he said, “Oh, I’m going to have to tell (my brother) something when we get home.”
“What?” I asked.
“Oh, nothing. I just heard a name of someone he would want to know about.”
“Who?” I asked, truly puzzled because we weren’t even listening to sports at the time.
“Carmen Electra,” he said, looking out the window. “She’s some supermodel that he likes.”
When we got home, he ran to tell his brother: “Hey, they were talking about Carmen Electra on the radio!”
His brother quickly looked at me, not knowing what to say since he has always claimed he did not consider any girls pretty.
Meanwhile, the little one skipped off. He didn’t even realize that might be an opportunity to tease his brother.
I again noticed this contrast in outlook and maturity last week when we were at dinner with a big group of extended family.
My guys were the only kids at the table, and it was clear that one of them could roll with the conversation, while the other still didn’t quite get it.
As various diners weaved in and out of the banter with stories about each other and those absent, the 10-year-old listened and did his best to contribute what he could about the topic at hand.
The 8-year-old didn’t pay attention to much besides who he had to ask for the last piece of bread, but that didn’t stop him from speaking up whenever he got the chance and about whatever crossed his mind.
His dad and I kept telling him, “Shhh. Just listen for awhile.” But he looked confused as to why we wouldn’t let him have the floor.
One last example of this shorter kid’s short-sighted perspective also occurred last week while we were shopping for clothes.
Whenever we were shopping for him, he was fine, but when we started focusing on his brother, he started whining about where his shoes were or why he couldn’t sit down.
During the same trip, his older brother volunteered to carry bags or trays and ran ahead for me to check on items (including his sibling).
Finally, after the younger one made a repeated plea for his shopping needs, I told him: “You need to be patient. Have I ever taken you guys out for clothes and forgot to buy yours?”
He said no and hung his head. Then he added, lip quivering: “Sometimes, it seems like no one appreciates me except for the dog!”
Sigh.
But I know this time is fleeting, and that these little differences and immaturities will melt away in time.
In the meantime, all I can do is try to “appreciate” each of the kids at their various stages — be they endearing or not.
And I bet someday, not that far off, I might even miss the times when I had to remind them how to act grown up.
Permalink | Comments (3) | Post your comment | Categories: Mother's Daze columns
Comments
By Kim
July 16, 2009 10:03 AM | Link to this
Yes - 2 can make a huge difference. Do enjoy the time as it goes! In another 2 years - or so - your helpful 10 year old will dissolve into a pouty pre-teen that wouldn’t dream of doing anything helpful without being told - at least twice. You would look at him and wonder who this stranger is that has been replaced for your little boy!
By aharddaysnight
July 16, 2009 9:18 AM | Link to this
When I was a kid there were five years between my brother and I. At that time it was a HUGE age difference. I always felt like he was running away from me. Now that we are 37 and 42 we are very close. The five years doesn’t seem that huge anymore. Imagine what these boys will be like at 30 and 32.
By Two, 2, to, too, tew......
July 16, 2009 9:13 AM | Link to this
The difference is 2. It can be big, like 2 million dollars, or small, like 2 cents. The answer is 2.