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Home > Blogs > Adventures in Motherhood > Archives > 2009 > July > 10 > Entry
How would you answer this child’s question?
As I was loading the kids into the car this morning, my almost 5-year-old daughter, completely aghast, exclaims: “Mommy, look he’s not wearing a shirt!”
My daughter was referring to our neighbor, who was out front doing some yard work.
“It’s OK, sweetie,” I told her. “He’s outside working, and he’s hot.”
“How come boys don’t need a shirt and girls do?” she asked.
OK, how am I going to explain this one. I was really trying to avoid any puberty/body part related discussions at this point. She is pretty young after all.
“Well, sometimes boys just get a lot more sweaty than girls … you know, like Daddy gets really sweaty sometimes, especially when they’re working hard,” I explained. “Girls just don’t get as sweaty, so they can cool off by putting on a tank top.”
“Oh, OK,” she said. Whew! She settled for my first answer. That doesn’t happen often.
Moms, do your kids ever stump you with their questions? How would you have answered this one? What are some questions you’ve struggled with?
Permalink | Comments (9) | Post your comment | Categories: Helpful tips
Comments
By aharddaysnight
July 16, 2009 9:22 AM | Link to this
“When I encountered this same situation I chose to let my daughter know in very simple terms that boys & girls have different private areas that are off limits to others & should not be displayed publicly”….That’s pretty much what I told my kids when they started asking quiestions like that.By Dad of a 7 year old
July 12, 2009 2:48 PM | Link to this
Even though your daughter is five, she has probably recognized the obvious differences between a grown man and woman. I would simply explain to her that when she grows up she will look like you and will have to cover up. Personally, since she doesn’t really have anything to show at this age then I don’t see a problem.By hoopla
July 12, 2009 2:18 PM | Link to this
Tell your daughter, its important to keep certain body parts covered. On a woman its her top and on a man its his bottom. Thats a 5 yr. old level.By Smartiepants
July 12, 2009 12:33 PM | Link to this
I assume your neighbor wasn’t a fat guy with “man boobs”, that would’ve made it even harder to explain.By DEB
July 12, 2009 11:48 AM | Link to this
Congratulations! Now your 5 year old will grow up to believe that boys and men work harder than women because women don’t sweat as much. How about “Mommy can’t answer that question because she does not understand why it is that way or I know it’s not fair but that is the way things are”By Nick
July 11, 2009 11:58 PM | Link to this
I only have boys, but if you look around and about, in many places it is not illegal for women to be topless, Puritanical ideals prevent such. There was a recent event in Columbus with both a pro-topless group and a breast feeding group. You have a delicate line, raising your child with your values, but also if you teach that their bodies are dirty, what effects may that have when they have children. Some people believe it is proper to whip out their breast to feed a child, some want equality (per 14th admend or 1st admend) and then there are some people that think a woman publicly breastfeeding is on the level of pornography. Not to mention in many (if not most) other countries, a woman’s breast is not considered nudity, and can even be seen on commercials during the day on tv. On an semi-related note, I came across a story of a native tribe called the Naga, who shun clothing, however they cover women’s breast, for the reason that they are not present at birth, therefor the need to be covered as being abnormal. (I minored in religious studies in college, and majored in Geography.)By Mom of 9 & 6 yr old
July 10, 2009 12:22 PM | Link to this
When I encountered this same situation I chose to let my daughter know in very simple terms that boys & girls have different private areas that are off limits to others & should not be displayed publicly. We also have explained that no adult should touch either of our children in any area that is covered by a swimsuit. Just keep your answer simple & such conversations don’t need to be upsetting to anyone.By Mom of a 5 year old
July 10, 2009 11:20 AM | Link to this
Just be honest. Kids can handle learning the differences between boys and girls, and they want to know, that’s why they are asking.By Lisa Curtis
July 10, 2009 10:49 AM | Link to this
Well, I would have said the same thing as you did! When my daughter starts asking questions, i’ll just have to tell her the truth. I mean you didn’t lie, but avoiding the subject is never good… But to each his own I suppose! =)