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Home > Blogs > Adventures in Motherhood > Archives > 2009 > July > 07 > Entry
Motherhood: Surprise! Rosemond is right-on!
“Solve Your Child’s Behavior Problems” was the subject of an e-mail I received from a parenting Web site.
Curiosity piqued, I clicked in to discover drop-down boxes where you select your child’s age and behavior problem such as aggression, tattling, tantrums and more.
While the advice was not bad per se, I just don’t see myself having a drawn out conversation with my 3-year-old about why his hitting is unacceptable and the way he is “feeling” is OK. He has the attention span of a gnat.
My mother would have to only give us “the look” in order for us to snap back in line. I give Nick “the look,” and he thinks it is funny to see what I will do next. Seriously frustrating.
Our son Noah, is a pretty easy kid. He has his moments, but is far from challenging. So why such the difference in Nick? Nearly age 4, Nick should be done with the “Terrible Two’s.”
Additionally, I question my mothering skills almost daily. Parenting advice books are available in abundance, but they confuse me. Then, I was turned on to “Parenting by the Book” by John Rosemond.
I never liked Rosemond’s advice especially when he said a child could/should be potty trained by an absurdly young age. Desperate not to raise heathens though, I gave the book a chance.
Surprise No. 1: It is a Christian faith-based book. Yes, from Rosemond, a psychologist, who calls himself out saying, “I am absolutely convinced that modern psychology has done more harm than good to the American family.” Surprise No. 2: I loved the book and couldn’t agree more with Rosemond.
He proceeds to point out the flaws in “Postmodern Psychological Parenting (PPP).” Flaws indeed. My parents certainly didn’t feel the need to “explain” their rules. Rosemond explains that PPP has caused parents to lower their expectations of children and essentially, “time-out” doesn’t work.
No kidding.
It’s been a trying transition, but I am keeping this simple logic in mind when I have to “go Rosemond” (no, it’s not violent) on my child.
We continue to be tested, but are striving for consistency.
Regardless of your personal beliefs, this one is worth the read, and hopefully one day my children — and yours — will thank us for this.
Contact this reporter at (937) 328-0356 or dmjordan@coxohio.com.
Permalink | Comments (8) | Post your comment | Categories: Motherhood Column
Comments
By iSingleParent Magazine
September 16, 2009 4:20 PM | Link to this
John Rosemond writes for iSingleParent Magazine and website. Learn more about us if you are a parent with a parent in jail and how to cope. Facebook page: iSingleParent Magazine Become a fan!By Sandi
July 8, 2009 7:17 PM | Link to this
I just finished reading “Parenting By the Book”, an excellent read. My spouse and I are not united on parenting issues and this causes stress on our relationship and confusion to the children. Reading this book gave me renewed vision to continue to raising my children “by the book” as I have proven results with my oldest three. I still have three to go and have focused on doing the right thing. The proof is in the pudding!By Ash
July 8, 2009 10:40 AM | Link to this
Rosemond’s books are great. I own 4 of his books; which you can buy directly on his website. It has been very helpful with raising my 4 & 5 year old and helped my relationship grow even stronger with my husband.By Darci
July 8, 2009 9:30 AM | Link to this
Plan ahead, Mommies and Daddies! Rosemond will be speaking October 20, at Spring Valley Academy in Centerville. I will post more information as I get it.By Brandy
July 8, 2009 8:37 AM | Link to this
Oh yes! I am 28 (almost) and have an 8 year old and a three year old. I was a modern parent. Until I realized that hashing out my rules and trying to explain myself to my children was a joke! I believe that knowing right from wrong is essential, and my children need discipline. I watched my baby brothers never get disciplined and they both ended up in and out of jail, one recently out of prison; drug charges. So, I haven’t read Rosemond’s books yet; but I need to. I have a special needs child that is as strong willed as I have ever seen. I don’t plan to spend anymore of my days in tears. Thanks for the information about this book.By Beth
July 8, 2009 6:54 AM | Link to this
Yippeee! Maybe old fashion parenting is coming back! Rosemond did wonders to keep me sane when I was raising my two. And let me know that I wasn’t alone in the way I raised them.By Terri
July 7, 2009 9:02 PM | Link to this
I just started reading this book. I went from tears to laughter in the first three chapters. I was absolutely looking for something that I could relate to when it came to parenting advice, and I think “going Rosemond” is the way to go! I can’t wait to finish the book!By Beth
July 7, 2009 8:15 PM | Link to this
Totally agree. I think Rosemond’s theories make perfect sense.I am in my late 50’s & was raised by “old school” parents who were much older than those of my peers. They didn’t explain…they told me. I was somewhat less rigid with my 4 kids, but they still knew when I meant business. Today, they are all well-adjusted, productive members of society, who are raising their own broods. I smile when I hear one of them say to his kid..”because I’m the dad & I say so”!