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Home > Blogs > Adventures in Motherhood > Archives > 2009 > June > 11 > Entry
Son’s interest in beer gives Mom a headache
One week, films about puberty; the next week, beer. Life does move fast.
My husband said to me the other day, “I think I am going to lay off the beer for a while,” and then he nodded toward our 10-year-old son in the other room. “Somebody’s showing a little too much interest in it.”
At first, I felt the need to remind my husband that he should do what he wants, since there are separate rules for kids and adults for good reason.
Besides, I thought, he is just a curious young kid, and my husband’s drinking is moderate at most.
But then I started mulling over some of the recent comments from the shorter male; the one who still smells of fourth grade. I thought about how he has mentioned a few times when we were out at restaurants that the beer “looked good” and asked questions about the various brands.
And I remembered his love and subsequent recounting to anyone who would listen of the many humorous beer commercials that heavily punctuate the innumerable sports shows he watches.
Then there was that team pizza party earlier this month, when my son and a couple of his friends thought it was really funny to keep pretending to steal the pitcher of beer on the parents’ table.
After cataloging these incidents, I agreed that maybe the situation probably could use a little addressing.
But I wasn’t sure how to go about that. And I didn’t know if my mom’s handling of similar circumstances would be as acceptable today.
When I was a kid, my mom introduced me and my siblings to wine when we were much younger than my sons are now.
She wanted us to have a more worldly view and appreciation of alcohol, and noted that kids drank wine in Europe and had less incidence of alcohol abuse.
We kids thought it was cool that we got to have wine, but also thought it tasted horrible. We much preferred grape juice or soda — anything with more sugar in it. (Come to think of it, my siblings and I still prefer drinks with more sugar in them.)
My mom also introduced us to cigarettes, but with a wholly different intention. She and my father were longtime smokers, and my mom did not want us to follow down that path. She figured she would let us try the ever-present items and stem our curiosity.
I had my first cigarette at age 6, and it was nearly my last (I’ll admit there were a couple more in college). I believe it was the only cigarette my younger brother ever had. One and done at age 5.
As for beer, I asked for a sip when I was around 12, and my stepfather gave me one. I thought it tasted even worse than the wine (although it was Natural Light, and now I wonder if that brand choice was intentional), and it effectively ended my childhood interested in beer.
But, even though I emerged from my childhood a little wiser and relatively unscathed, I don’t feel comfortable following that same course of action with my kids.
These days, a good 30 years later, it is largely frowned upon, and possibly illegal, to give my sons a cigarette or even a sip of beer.
But I do think action is in order. And, I don’t think the root of it is my husband or I changing our moderate drinking habits — in fact, that might even make the practice even more taboo and alluring.
I think the action will have to come in the form of discussion, and will include the things I learned in my childhood as well as information on the subject from this century.
Even though that might be a drier way to go than I experienced, at least it will be honest and direct.
And this way, I can be sure that none of us will get arrested.
Permalink | Comments (6) | Post your comment | Categories: Mother's Daze columns
Comments
By N
June 12, 2009 11:50 PM | Link to this
Consider the consequence if your child actually likes the taste of alcohol or effects of cigarettes. Then you have the potential for a child who wants these things and now believes it’s ok because mommy let him do it. I don’t know when we collectively became whimps when dealing with our children. I’m not saying we need to live by the “do as I say, not as I do” mantra again but for goodness sake there are reasons there are age limits for certain privledges. Consider other things your son might show interest in that are beyond his years, like driving, firing a weapon without training or supervision, or even having sex. Would you consider allowing him a taste of these things to disuade him? Say “no” and mean no and set firm repercussions if he disobeys. Then when he’s older (and hopefully wiser) and decides to drink he’s old enough to be responsible for his own actions and liable for any bad decisions he may make.
By What the H***
June 12, 2009 3:56 PM | Link to this
The kid should not rule your life and you should not potentially ruin his.Giving the kid a smoke or a beer probably wont ruin the kids life but it definitely isnt going to make the kid smarter.Use common sense, god knows your mother didnt…give a 5 yr old a cigarette or a glass of wine…lets just say some things require this word - RETARDED.Be the adult and tell the kid he can not have a beer because it is an adult beverage.
By Brian
June 11, 2009 2:47 PM | Link to this
Veronica, that’s a ridiculous course of action. Your kids needed to understand that cocaine and heroine and other drugs are ILLEGAL. Teaching them right from wrong is the correct way to handle this. If you raise them right, they will make intelligent decisions on their own and realize that it’s perfectly fine for adults - 21 and over - to have a beer if they so choose, and fine for them as well when they reach that age.
By veronica
June 11, 2009 10:04 AM | Link to this
How about being role models? I always told my kids no to drugs and alcohol. My kids called me on my drinking on New Year’s Eve on night. They said, “So it is OK to have drink once in a while, just like it is OK to have Cocaine or Heroine once in a while?” My answer was no. Haven’t touched a drink since.
By perhaps?
June 11, 2009 8:38 AM | Link to this
Maybe you could let him have some non-alcoholic beer to test. Then, essentially it’s the same as drinking a pepsi, except O’douls tastes horrible, IMHO. That’ll teach ‘em.. lol
By perhaps?
June 11, 2009 8:38 AM | Link to this
Maybe you could let him have some non-alcoholic beer to test. Then, essentially it’s the same as drinking a pepsi, except O’douls tastes horrible, IMHO.