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Home > Blogs > Adventures in Motherhood > Archives > 2009 > June > 08 > Entry
Learning to mesh parenting styles
When I gave birth to my daughter, I had three or four books that I consulted on a regular basis (in addition to the three I read during my pregnancy). I tracked her development, making sure she rolled over when she supposed to, that sat up when she was supposed to and that we gave her cereal and the right kinds of foods when appropriate.
My husband read one book during my pregnancy.
He cringed when I said “the book says …” and often reminded me that he would not parent by the book.
We have different parenting styles to say the least. He’s go-with-the-flow. And while I have relaxed some with the books - mainly because I’m chasing a very mobile 11-month-old - I will admit to being more regimented.
Our daughter was about 7 months old when she developed a rash all over her body. I attributed it to the yogurt we had given her. Everything I read said she could have yogurt before she was a year old but if she had a reaction, she shouldn’t have anymore or any other dairy.
So when my husband put a pile of shredded cheese on her tray while I had my back turned, I vocalized my concern. By yelling about a possible dairy allergy and how we must be more careful while quickly gathering the cheese like it was some kind of poison.
A couple weeks later her allergy tests came back negative and she was happily eating cheese. My husband likes to bring up this incident as proof of what he considers my over-reactive tendencies.
He, on the other hand, gives our daughter baby marshmallows for a snack (nevermind that she has no teeth and the sticky, gooiness could lodge in her throat). He gave her a Happy Meal. He doesn’t blink an eye when she heads straight for the open dishwasher and begins flinging utensils about the kitchen.
All this makes me cringe about as much as “The book says …” makes him.
And yet, it works for us. Without him, our family might not be as much fun. Without me, we might not be as safe (even if we are too safe). Together, we’ve managed to raise a happy, healthy little girl.
What about you? How do you and your partner mesh parenting styles?
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