By Lisa

January 10, 2009 1:02 PM | Link to this

Oy. I’m with you, girl. As the mom of a hairy, deep-voiced 14 year old boyman, I’m sending you a big bloggy hug and high five in support. I’ve got no advice for you but some congrats on raising a boy with enough wits not to wear Peter Brady’s shirt. :) Sounds like he’s heading in the right direction toward well-adjusted manhood. :) Ew. Manhood…is that the right word? Doesn’t sound right suddenly.

By Beth Yeary

January 7, 2009 6:11 PM | Link to this

I hope that you like roller coaster rides, because that’s what you’re in for the next few years. Just hold on, and keep the lines of communication open. Just wait until driver’s training comes along. If you think this is bad, just wait.

By jkj

January 7, 2009 4:27 PM | Link to this

I have 2 sons who are now 17 & 20. Welcome to a new phase of parenthood. Keep your eyes and ears wide open during this time and don’t be hurt or shocked if your son starts to push away—he’s growing up…and yes, he is becoming a young man now…he needs his space. Good luck!

By Dee

January 7, 2009 11:59 AM | Link to this

You have my sympathies also. My daughter just turned 13 yesterday, but has more hormones than one person can take. She was diagnosed with a bleeding disorder and is on a high dose of birth control pills to control her periods. If you think regular puberty is bad, try doing with all of the other synthetic hormones on board!

By Kim

January 7, 2009 11:51 AM | Link to this

I didn’t raise any boys - but I’m on my second teenager - my girls are 26 and close enough to 18 to count it. Communication is definitely a #1 importance - with the additional advice to make sure that it’s CALM, logical communication. Teens shut down if you raise your voice or lose your cool too badly. In order for them to be confident speaking to you, they need to feel like you won’t “freak out” when they tell you something. Inside you may be going “CRAP!!!”, but on the outside - you need to respond with, “I’m glad that you told me” - or came to me with it or whatever. And - BE HONEST with them and don’t try to lecture them on something when you don’t know your stuff. Don’t be afraid to say, “I really don’t know - but I will help you find out.” And lastly - pick your battles - because there will be lots to choose from - ha! I’m not telling you to let them get away with everything - but don’t hammer them like a wrecking ball either. You have raised them this far - give them their freedom in little bits and trust them to live up to your expectations and look at the big picture. Is the world really going to end if they came in 15 minutes past curfew this one time? And most importantly - be there. They may act like they don’t care if you come see them perform in band or choir or in that play or to see them get that award - but trust me - they do. I am a hard-working single mom, but I was always involved in the thick of my kid’s activities. It also helps you to know their friends and see how things are REALLY going. It has been such a joy, and I look at the kids whose parents I have never seen and I wonder how they cannot be a part of it - they are missing out! And I have seen those kids gravitate to me and call me “Mama Kim”. Of course each child is different - but it has worked great for me! Good luck!

By Lea

January 6, 2009 10:29 AM | Link to this

My sympathies to you… My daughter is almost my height at 13. Bigger than I am otherwise but nowhere near even pudgy… But the attitude! Whew. She and I have a pretty close relationship (actually, she’s my stepdaughter), but she’s had some major issues with refusal to obey. All I can say is that keeping the lines open works better than ANYTHING else I’ve tried!