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Now THIS is scary stuff! AIEEE!
So - it seems Michael Bay’s production company is going to remake Friday the 13th.
(Blink)
(Shudder)
(Feels urgent need for Pepto Bismol)
Now, granted, I know Bay isn’t actually directing this. This is his low-rent horror cheapie production company Platinum Dunes, which recently remade The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hitcher. But do you know of anyone who actually thought those movies were any good?
Now we have a producer with dubious sensibilities trying to bring new life to series that was never worth the celluloid it was shot on. I thought the first Friday the 13th was terrible, as was the one where Jason went to hell. Seeing about 10 minutes of any of the other ones tells me they’re not worth swallowing whole.
As if that weren’t bad enough, Platinum Dunes still has a remake of Hitchcock’s The Brids on tap. I’m sure the movie will explain in precise detail why the birds are attacking and will stage an apocalyptic finale that shows the birds pecking people’s eyes out and munching on their corneas. Mm-mm-good!
Spare me. I guess this must be karmic payback for all that good news I reported on Monday. Pardon while I go jump in the lake. Only it won’t be Crystal Lake.
Permalink | Comments (2) | Categories: Coming Attractions
Comments
By SRCputt
October 2, 2007 8:28 PM | Link to this
Crap company + Crap film = Craptastic crap to top all crap. I don’t ever want to hear Bay say he has any desire to make art. This is a cash grab, pure and simple. It is a simple IQ test: anyone wanting to see this is a moron.By Allie D.
October 2, 2007 3:23 PM | Link to this
Oh for the love of god!!! Why?!?! WHY???!!!! I’d have about as much fun watching someone remake a bowel movement. Which is really not too far from what I’d really be watching with the Friday the 13th remake.