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August 2009

A long, long day/night of Reds-Pirates

THESE ARE From my son, Brent, who is not a sports writer, but maybe he should step into the old man’s shoes. Feeling sorry for dad, who had to sit through a full day and a full night of baseball between the Cincinnati Reds and Pittsburgh Pirates, he e-mailed me this Top 10 list of things worse than watching a Reds-Pirates doubleheader:

TEN - Watching a Bengals-Browns doubleheader.

NINE - Catching a ceremonial first pitch from Cincinnati Mayor Mark “Just a bit outside” Mallory.

EIGHT - Sticking a piece of a shattered Louisville Slugger into your eye?

SEVEN - The double play combo of Gookie and Pokey, circa 2000.

SIX - Watching the move Major League 3: Back to the Minors. Yes, there is a Major League 3 - terrible movie.

FIVE - Pete Rose singing in Aqua Velva commercials.

FOUR - Selling $7 beers at a Reds-Pirates doubleheader.

THREE - Buying $7 beers at a Reds-Pirates doubleheader.

TWO — Watching reruns of the Baseball Bunch with Johnny Bench and Tommy Lasorda as the “Dugout Wizard”.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON -

Reading my dad’s stories in the DDN about a Reds-Pirates doubleheader.

My son has a lot of time on his hands, even though he has to teach my 11-month old grandson, Beckett, how to throw a splitter, a sinker and a slider.

If noting else, the Cincinnati Reds are establishing a built-in motto for next season, something like, “The Cincinnati Reds: Better than the Bucs.”

As long as the Pittsburgh Pirates reside in the National League Central, the Reds need not worry about finishing last.

On Monday, the Reds played a day-night doubleheader against the Pirates that was played in relative silence and in mostly empty Great American Ball Park.

They swept both games, 3-2 and 6-3, to move 4½ games ahead of the last place Pirates, making the Bucs can’t catch the fifth place Reds in the final two games of this series.

Not much to brag about, is it, two wins over the Pirates by a total of four runs.

The proof that these are two teams with bald tires, spinning their way to nowhere, in Game One the Reds started one player who was on the 25-man Opening Day roster, Joey Votto. And the Pirates started two players who were in their Opening day lineup, Andy LaRoche and Brandon Moss.

With little more than 1,500 people in the seats, Game One ended as a walk-off victory when Darnell McDonald scored from third base on a bases-loaded 2-and-0 wild pitch from Jesse Chavez.

“I saw the ball bounce away and when it’s the ninth inning at home, you have to be aggressive in that situation,” said McDonald, who started the game-ending rally with a one-out single. “It didn’t get away that far but that’s a tough play for a catcher and a pitcher to get you out, so I took my chances.”

Asked if it was a foot race between him and the pitcher to home plate, McDonald said, “Yeah, and the catcher has to make a good throw to the pitcher and some pitchers aren’t very athletic. It worked.”

For Game Two, an official crowd of 9,087 wandered in to see why the lights were on, smallest official crowd in GABP history.

The Reds provided starter Johnny Cueto, fresh off the disabled list after skipping two starts, with three first-inning runs on five hits.

Cueto guarded them fiercely for five innings — no runs, two hits — until he gave up a leadoff home run in the sixth to Andrew McCutcheon and he was done.

Brandon Phillips has a single, a home run, scored two runs and thought he had a second home run in the fifth inning. He hit one past the foul pole and circled the bases.

The umpires, though, took only 1:55 to review the tapes and rule that the ball went left of the foul pole, a foul ball. It pretty much says it all when that was the day’s most invigorating event.

Drew Stubbs did provide a power surge, heading a leadoff home run in the first inning, the first leadoff home run by a Reds player this season, and a two-run homer in the eighth.

Stubbs hit three home runs in 107 games for Class AAA Louisville and now has three for the Reds in 13 games.

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McDonald the hero on an empty stage

Chicago Cubs Hall of Famer Ernie Banks loved the game so much he would say every day, “Let’s play two.”

Well, in the midst of the solitude at Great American Ball Park Monday afternoon, early in the first game of a Cincinnati-Pittsburgh doubleheader in a stadium so quiet it was like a tennis match or a golf tournament, C. Trent Rosecrans said, “Even Ernie Banks would say, ‘To hell with this.’ “

In the seventh inning, up behind the first base line, a baby cried. A bottle? No, daddy made him go to a Reds-Pirates game.

The “official” attendance was 13,051. But those were tickets sold. Actual folks in the park was less than 1,600 by mid-game, about 250 when the game began.

At the start of the fifth inning the videocam showed a young fan sprawled out over two seats in an otherwise empty section and over the public address system they played Eric Carmen’s “All By Myself.”

At least they had a sense of humor about the cavernous emptiness.

The game? Cincinnati 4, Pittsburgh 3. And it contained an apropos ending. The Reds scored the winning run on a wild pitch, a walk-off win when Darnell McDonald scored from third to break a 3-3 tie on a wild pitch by Jesse Chavez, his first wild pitch this season. And the crowd went wild. You just couldn’t hear it.

First of all, it was a game matching two teams with bald and spinning tires. Going nowhere. In fact, more and more the Reds are becoming the Pirates, losers for 17 straight years.

IN GAME ONE Monday, the Reds had one player on the field who was on the Opening Day roster. Joey Votto. Craig Tatum, Drew Sutton, Adam Rosales, Scott Rolen, Wladimir Balentien, Drew Stubbs, Jonny Gomes and Kip Wells were not with the Reds on Opening Day.

At least the Pirates had two players on the field who were with them on Opening Day - Andy LaRoche and Brandon Moss.

Even manager Dusty Baker got into the spirit of a small audience.

“I could hear everybody today,” he said. “I saw a guy with his finger missing get hit with a foul ball and heard him say, ‘That hurt like hell.’ He caught it. Everybody got a foul ball and everybody got a t-shirt (tossed and shot to the crowd). You have to commend the people who came out.”

The Pirates started Daniel McCutcheon, making his major-league debut. His second major-league pitch ended up in the left field seats, a home run by Drew Stubbs. So, let’s see - Stubbs had three home runs all year at Class AAA Louisville and now has two in his first 12 major-league games.

And it was the first leadoff home run by a Reds’ hitter this year.

Kip Wells started for the Reds and held the Pirates to two runs and two hits (four walks, one hit batter) over six innings and admitted, “I was on life support. I didn’t have any strength from the start. That’s no excuse for not getting the job done.”

He wasn’t bad, other than needing 108 pitches to cover the six innings when Baker was desperately trying to protect his bullpen.

BUT IF THERE was a hero in the deathly silence of a deadly game, it was Darnell McDonald, inserted into the game late for defense. But he drilled a one-out hit in the ninth, took second on Craig Tatum’s single, hustled to third on Paul Janish’s fly ball to right, which perched him perfectly for the game-ending wild pitch.

“McDonald has played very well and I saw the talent level there when he started the season with us,” said Baker. “It was a matter of putting too much pressure on himself the first time, trying to stay. But he went back (to Louisville) and got to play and got his stroke back together.

“He has really contributed. He drove in our only runs yesterday (in Sunday’s 3-2 12-inning loss to the Dodgers). He threw a runner out at the plate in Milwaukee and made a couple of good plays and scored the winning run today,” said Baker.

McDonald was Baltimore’s No. 1 draft pick in 1997 and mostly has bounced around the minors for 12 years, winning a spot on the Reds’ roster out of spring training. And when Willy Taveras couldn’t play on Opening Day, McDonald found himself in the Opening Day lineup.

He struggled, hitting below .200, and was eventually optioned back to Louisville.

“Everything is happening at once for me,” said McDonald. “When I came back up I just said I wanted to be aggressive with everything I do. Before, the first time, I was playing not to make a mistake and it seems you only make more mistakes when you play that way, you know?”

OK, SCENARIO: Last Tuesday, the Reds led, 6-1, in the ninth. The Milwaukee Brewers tied it, 6-6, and had the bases loaded with one out. Mike Cameron flied to left and McDonald caught it, then threw Ryan Braun out at home plate to save the game and send it into extra innings, which the Reds won, 8-5, in 13 innings. On Wednesday McDonald had a pinch-hit double that scored the winning runs in the 10th, 4-3.

He had his first major-league home run against the Dodgers Sunday and now this.

“Coming back up, that’s what I’ve been doing and right now things are working out,” he added. Of scoring on the wild pitch, he said, “Yeah, I saw the ball bounce away and when it’s the ninth inning at home, you have to be aggressive in that situation. It didn’t get away that far but that’s a tough play for a catcher and a pitcher to get you out, so I took my chances.”

Asked if it was a foot race between him and the pitcher, he said, “Yeah, and the catcher has to make a good throw to the pitcher and some pitchers aren’t very athletic. It worked. The main thing, I just to be aggressive.”

Getting back to his change of approach, McDonald said, “When you play to try to be perfect, you make mistakes. Now I play loose and have fun. If you make a mistake being aggressive, that’s fine. I’m sure I put pressure on myself the first time. When you work that long to get back to the big leagues and it finally happens and you are starting on Opening Day? I probably was overwhelmed and had some butterflies. You have to understand it’s the same game on a different stage. Just a few more people in the stands.”

Obviously, Darnell wasn’t checking out the stands Monday.

ROSTER MOVES: Johnny Cueto was activated off the DL to pitch today’s second game. Pitcher Ramon Ramirez and first baseman Kevin Barker were promoted from Louisville. Outfield Laynce Nix was put on the DL with a bulging disk in his neck. Pitcher Carlos Fisher was optioned to Class A Sarasota and pitcher Matt Maloney was optioned to Class AA Carolina.

The demotions of Fisher and Maloney is mere paper shuffling. Neither will even leave town. They’ll be promoted back to the Reds ASAP when the roster can be expanded to as many as 40 tomorrow.

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A game they could play in a closet

It is game time, first game of the split doubleheader with the Pittsburgh Pirates. Looking at things, especially the lineup cards, it resembles a spring training game in Bradenton, Fla., only there would be way more fans in Bradenton.

There are perhaps 250 fans in the stands. There were more people in the Media Dining Room this morning. I’ve seen more people in a bar at 10 a.m.

By actual count: 8 in the upper deck bleachers. 21 in the lower deck bleachers, 24 in the right field sun deck. Well, you get it. Nobody here.

They shouldn’t have pregame introductions. The players should go into the stands and introduce themselves to each fan (it wouldn’t take long) and say, “Hey, thanks for coming.”

It is one of those games where if a fan calls the ticket office and asks what time the game starts, they should ask him, “What time can you be here?”

There are a dozen scouts in the pressbox and seven media people. It’s the most crowded section in the ballpark.

I GUESS WHAT I’m asking here is, “Why?”

It is a late-August game between one team that is headed for a ninth straight losing season (Cincinnati) and another headed for a 17th straight losing season (Pittsburgh). Meaningless doesn’t begin to describe it.

Why wouldn’t the Reds just schedule this as a regular doubleheader, one admission, two games. Instead they are clearing the stadium after the game (one usher can say, “OK, leave”) then charging admission to get back into tonight’s 7:10 game, another thrilling prospect.

They should invite everybody here to front row seats and give ‘em free hot dogs and soft drinks.

Can’t wait for this game to start to I can hear everything every fan says, including the guy talking to his girlfriend on his cell phone. I’ve already heard three cell phones ring.

And the players better be wearing ear plugs, because they are going to hear every epithet aimed their way.

The game started two minutes late. I guess somebody called and said they had 10 fans coming at 1:12.

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A good reason to like Gomes and Rolen

ANOTHER REASON I really like Jonny Gomes, other than the fact he is a good player and a great guy:

When I walked into the Reds clubhouse Sunday morning, Gomes was in front of Scottr Rolen’s locker and judging by their body language they were obviously talking about hitting. Rolen went into a stance as Gomes watched. Then Gomes when into a stance and swung with his hands.

The discussion went on for at least 20 minutes.

When it broke up I said to Gomes, “The way you’ve been hitting why are you talking to Rolen about hitting?”

Gomes, who takes batting instruction in the off-season from former Reds outfielder Kevin Mitchell - who could roll out of bed in his pajamas and smash a double - smiled and said:

“I looked at his numbers closely the other day and I saw a lot of power and a lot of RBIs and throuhout his career, even now, he is extremely low in strikeouts. You look at most guys who hit for power and their best years are when they had a lot of strikeouts.

“Those guys are more aggressive and swing harder. It wasn’t the same for him. So I was asking him, ‘How do you hit for power and not strike out?’ Will I ever be able to do that? I don’t know but I can always pick his brain. He’s totally a good guy to have around.”

And that’s another reason I like Jonny Gomes and a major reason to have a real professional like Rolen around.

AH, SENILITY. Can’t be far behind.

I took a new sport coat and a new pair of slacks to Milwaukee for a meeting with commissioner Bud Selig. After the meeting, I changed to my normal jeans and untucked dress shirt and hung the sport coat and jacket in the hotel closet.

Next morning I packed to fly home. Yeah, you know what I did. The sport coat and slacks were left hanging in the closet, unwrinkled but lonely.

The Residence Inn said they retrieved them and sent them to me and I’m waiting for the reunion.

I also had a $550 David Yurman silver bracelet my wife, Nadine, bought me in Las Vegas. Loved that bracelet. Wore it every day. While in MIlwaukee I glanced nonchalantly at my wrist one afternoon. Gone. The bracelet was gone.

ANYBODY KNOW where I can lease a BMW for a decent price? I can’t drive it, but my wife thinks she’d look pretty spiffy in one. I think she looks spiffy without a BMW, but I wouldn’t mind one.

RYAN FREEL is quickly working his way through the majors - in one year. He began the season with Baltimore after the Reds traded him there last winter for catcher Ramon Hernandez. Then he moved to the Chicago Cubs. Then he moved to the Kansas City Royals. Then he moved last week to the Texas Rangers, a minor-league contract.

Freel is a strange little dudde. One day he is effervescent, full of energy and charm and laughter and a “Hi, how are ya?” The next day he is deadly quiet, sits at his locker with a poker face and stares a hole right through you.

SAW TWO AMAZINGLY rare things in one inning at Great American Ball Park Saturday - Craig Tatum and Paul Janish hit home runs in the same inning and Pete Rose signed an autograph for free.

SPEAKING OF Janish, when asked about Janish and his strong glove but meek bat, manager Dusty Baker said, “It’s easier to find gloves than to find bats.”

ANOTHER LIST:

Cincinnati baseball beat writers who I have worked with and against in my 37 yeaers:

DAYTON DAILY NEWS: Me.

CINCINNATI ENQUIRER: Bob Hertzel, Ray Buck, Greg Hoard, Tim Sullivan, Geoff Hobson, Jack Brennan, John Erardi, Rory Glynn, Mike Paolarcio, Scott McGregor, Chris Haft, Rob Parker, Tim Brown, John Fay.

CINCINNATI POST: Earl Lawson, Bill Koch, Bruce Schoenfeld, Mike Sokolove, Jeff Lenihan, Jerry Crasnick, Jeff Horrigan, Tony Jackson, Mark Lancaster, C. Trent Rosecrans.

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Homer Bailey: The 98 MPHer is back

When the Cincinnati Reds signed Homer Bailey, they said he threw 98 miles an hour. After he zoomed through the minors and finally showed up at Great American Ball Park, the clock showed him topping out at 94.

The natural indication was to wrinkle your face and say, “Ah, the Reds. Liar, liar pants on fire. Where’s the 98? The only 98 he has is probably that Oldsmobile 98 parked in his grandfather’s barn in Texas.

So now it is 2009 and Bailey is throwing 98. The clock shows it. It’s legit.

So I put the question to Bailey in the dugout Saturday afternoon after he dazzled the Dodgers with a steady supply of 98 miles an hour fastballs Friday night while shutting them out for eight innings.

“Where did that 98 come from? The last couple of years you couldn’t break 94 and they always told us you threw 98.”

Then Bailey told an amazing tale.

“Last off season, when I first started to get on the mound, my agent told me, ‘Go see Skip Johnson, he is the pitching coach at the University of Texas,’” said Bailey. “I thought, ‘I ain’t got nothing to lose, because things aren’t looking so good.’”

Bailey was 0-6 with a 7.93 ERA in eight starts with the Reds and things had to start looking up before they even reached the level of bad.

“So I went for one bullpen and he was telling me try this and try this,” said Bailey. “The whole time I’m kind of like, ‘All right, Homer, keep doing it. It feels funny and it feels different.’ So he told me to come back in a couple of days and throw another bullpen.

“And he gave me some drills to do at home before I went back and I kept doing them,” Bailey continued, completely and deeply into telling this amazing story. “I went back for the the next bullpen and the ball just jumped out of my hand and I just stared at it. I threw three pitches and said to myself, ‘It’s back.’”

Bailey still talks often with Johnson and told him, “I don’t know what the hell you’re doing, but it’s working. Everything is coming out hotter.”

And what happened before, when he threw 98 and it sunk to 94?

“I have no clue where it went,” he said. “I thought there was something wrong with my shoulder or elbow. My groin bugged me and I thought maybe that was it. But it really wasn’t. Just a little mechanical change. If you look at it on video it’s not that really different. You have to have somebody who is there right on you to see the difference.

“It’s the tempo, the way everything loads,” Bailey said. “I knew after that second bullpen and said to myself, ‘This is going to be fun again.’ After that, I had eight or nine sessions before spring training and every time it got just a little better and a little better.”

That, too, explains a lot. For the previous two seasons Bailey had been a sullen kid who snapped at the media and was short with his answers. If I had asked him two years about about throwing 94, he would have said something like, “So.”

The first day of spring training this year, I was walking toward the front door of the complex when somebody behind me yelled, “Hey, Hal. How’ya doing.” I turned around and the only person I saw was Homer Bailey. I looked for somebody else because Homer Bailey would never initiate a conversation with me.

It was Homer, obviously a pumped up Homer who has been given new life. And he has been a delight all season with humorous and pithy quotes, a guy with a permanent smile and a guy willing to exchange barbs and gags with the writers.

Anyway, welcome back Homer, and welcome back that 98 miles an hour fastball.

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Did the real Homer Bailey finally stand up?

It was the first-place Los Angeles Dodgers and it was Fireworks Night, but only 19,258 popped into Great American Ball Park Friday.

Too bad those other 21,000 seats weren’t occupied because 40,000 could have laid witness to perhaps the birth of a big-league pitcher.

Homer Bailey looks as if he finally gets it. He shut out the Dodgers on seven singles over eight innings and had to get out of more trouble than Leave it to Beaver.

Bailey didn’t leave it to anybody. When trouble surfaced, he bowed his back and mowed ‘em down. This is the pitcher the Reds thought they had when they drafted him No. 1 in 2004 - when he was 18. He is 23 now and maturity is busting out all over.

When trouble surfaced, Bailey was unhittable.

—He struck out Manny Ramirez in the first with two outs and a runner on second.

—The first two Dodgers reached base in the sixth and Bailey retired Andre Ethier, Ramirez and Casey Blake without permitting those runners to advance.

—Bailey had two on with one out in the eighth and Ramirez at the plate, 108 pitches already expended. Baker came to the mound, but Bailey talked his way into staying and he retired Ramirez on a line drive and coaxed a pop up from Blake on his 115th and final pitch.

“I told Dusty I started it and I want to finish it,” said Bailey.

Baker said he didn’t care what Bailey said, he was out there to look in his eyes, “And I wasn’t sure what I was going to do until I looked into his eyes. I wanted to see the look on his face and the look in his eyes and I saw what I wanted to see.

“If I didn’t see what I liked, I would have gone to the bullpen,” said Baker. “He looked me in the eye and said, ‘Hey, man, I’ve been throwing the ball good against Manny all night and I’d like to get him.’ Hey, he was still throwing 97 miles an hour.”

Bailey was gratified and said, “I can’t say enough about him letting me stay in. It’s a growing process young pitchers have to go through.”

Corky Miller caught Bailey for the first time ever and guided him through troubled waters.

“He’s pretty basic, four pitches,” said Miller. “But we didn’t really use the curveball much. He throws hard and his ball is not real straight. He keeps them off-balance thinking about off-speed and putting the ball inside.

“He never tried to overthrow and took the time to calm himself down when he need to do that,” Miller added. “He them made the quality pitches when he had to.”

ADDENDA: Anybody else ready to trade Coco Cordero for two used rosin bags and a box of sticks to clean the mud off cleats? Clearly, Cordero and his abundance of meaningless saves show that a closer on a losing team is an expensive gadget that isn’t needed.

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Harang’s ride on the wild side

If any of you have driven I-70 between Pittsburgh and Columbus, you know how bleak it is. The scenery is truck stops, rest areas, a tree or two and exit ramps to nowhere.

It’s the first part of the route pitcher Aaron Harang and equipment manager Rick Stowe took last Saturday - Stowe at the wheel sweating cannon balls and Harang in the passenger seat holding his side.

“Every time Rick hit a bump, he’d ask, ‘You OK, you OK?’ ” said Harang, who was in the throes of appendicitis and the two were trying to make it from Pittsburgh to Cincinnati before his appendix burst or Stowe’s bladder burst.

Why not Pittsburgh? “The doctor there wanted to immediately slice and dice. They told me in Cincinnati it could be done by arthroscopy,” said Harang of the harrowing day.

It all started after Friday night’s game in Pittsburgh. At 11 p.m. Harang ordered a sandwich from room service, then went to bed. At 6:30 Saturday morning he woke up achy and bloated, with a sharp pain in his side.

“I took two Tums and tried to go back to sleep and it took me two hours,” said Harang. “I finally got up and checked the movie times, thinking I’d go watch a movie. But the sharp pains were still in my side by late morning.”

He called his wife, Jennifer, and she suggested he go see the team trainers to have it checked.

“I grabbed a couple of bagels at Bruegger’s and (trainer) Steve Baumann suggested a trip to the hospital,” Harang added. “That was about 5 o’clock Saturday. They diagnosed appendicitis and wanted to operate right away. I knew it was about a four-hour drive to Cincinnati and I wanted to go home.

“Rick Stowe said he would drive,” Harang said. “So off we went.”

Said Stowe, “I kept checking exits for Hospital signs. And I had to go to the bathroom but I wasn’t about to stop. Once we got to Columbus I knew it was only an hour to Cincinnati and if it got too bad we could go back to Columbus (for surgery or a bathroom break). They told me not to hit any bumps.”

No bumps? On Ohio interstates? You’d have to drive in the grass to miss bumps.

“We listened to the game on the way back,” Harang said. “We got to Good Samaritan Hospital at 11:05.”

Said Stowe, “Four hours from Pittsburgh, hospital to gurney.”

Harang said they IVed him up and 45 minutes later he was in the operating room.

“They asked me the difference between the Cincinnati Zoo and the San Diego Zoo and that’s the last thing I remember until I woke up,” he said.

Harang is walking gingerly around the clubhouse and was told he can’t do any twisting or bending for two weeks. Since twisting and bending is 85 percent (I made that figure up) of pitching, Harang won’t be doing any pitching the rest of this season.

“What are the chances?” Harang said. “I don’t get hurt on the field, I got something that is not even baseball-related. And you know the worst part? I asked the doctors what the appendix is for and they said, ‘Nothing.’”

Nothing but potential aggravation.

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Is it Rolen, the Brewers or Memorex?

IT’S A SMALL sample, like a small satchel of Fuller Brush products, but the Cincinnati Reds do seem much better with the veteran presence of Scott Rolen in the lineup.

Was it Rolen or was it the Milwaukee Brewers, who have seemingly tossed the towel high into the air? The Reds swept the Brewers three straight and have won four in a row, with Rolen in the lineup for all four.

And the Reds are 6-2 with him in the lineup. He is hitting and he is making all the defensive plays expected of him. Manager Dusty Baker notices something else about him, a nuance not easily picked up by the untrained eye.

“His stroke is getting better every day and his timing is getting better,” said Baker. “You really don’t pay attention to what he does on defense, he’s so good. But he could very well be our smartest and best baserunner.

“His judgement is impeccable — going from first to third, stuff like that,” Baker said. “It’s judgement with no hesitation because if you are just a speed demon you might get thrown out. A guy with good judgement is gone from the minute the ball hits.”

And you have to love his dry sense of humor. After his two-run single in the fifth Thursday broke a 4-4 tie and put the Reds ahead for good during an 8-5 win, Rolen said with a dead-pan look, “I’m just trying to get my head on straight,” a play of words off the fact he got hit in the head with a pitch that caused a concussion.

He may be 35 and he may be injury-prone and he may be an expensive trinket on a team that supposedly is rebuilding from the basement up, but Scott Rolen can play on my team any time he wants.

WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, I’m going to continue to give you lists of my favorite and not-so-favorite things through the years. Here’s another.

My five favorite National League cities:

ONE: San Diego — I think I saw it rain once in 37 years in San Diego. They rolled out the tarp to cover the field and it shredded into pieces because it was rotted from non-use. The airport, though, is right downtown with one main runway and the approach takes you between tall building and I swear I once saw a lawyer counting his money as we passed his office window.

TWO: Denver — A great ballpark, the mountains with snow on them in mid-summer and a lively downtown. The only detriment is that if I walk at a fast pace (which I haven’t been able to do for five years) I am quickly out of breath due to the thin air. That’s what I tell myself.

THREE: San Francisco — You can eat at a different restaurant every day and seldom will you be disappointed. The walk between restaurants, though, is fraught with street beggars, one on every corner. I always tell them, “I gave to the last guy.” There was a guy once on Fisherman’s Wharf who had a sign, “I won’t lie, I want money for beer.” I gave him $5.

FOUR: Washington, D.C. — Until the Nationals came into the league, I hadn’t been to the nation’s capital since I was in the fifth grade and won a trip as an elementary school crossing guard. I was Lieutenant McCoy of the schoolboy patrol. The last three years I have been able to catch up on my sightseeing duties, plus there is a great cigar bar in which you can get a hand-rolled cigar and a Tangueray and tonic for, oh, about $100.

FIVE: Chicago — Big and eclectic, but not too big like New York City. My favorite steak house (The Saloon), my favorite pizza (Giordano’s) and my favorite Mexican joint (El Mexicano) are in the Windy City, but to tell the truth, I think it’s windier in Milwaukee. Folks think I probably love Wrigley Field. Wrong. Great place to watch a game, but horrible conditions for the poor w

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Stubbs is cleary overmatched

For ugliness, it made Cinderella’s step-sisters look like beauty queens.

The Cincinnati Reds won another one in extra innings Wednesday night, but only because the Milwaukee Brewers treated the baseball like a scud missile. With the Reds trailing in the eighth, Brewers pitcher Claudio Vargas heaved the baseball into the great beyond on a play at first base, nearly maiming some guy in Waukesha and the tying run scored.

Then in the 10th Brewers left fielder Ryan Braun misjudged pinch-hitter Darnell McDonald’s line drive that whistled over his head for a game-winning gift double - a nice ribbon on a 4-3 win.

But the real ugliness right now is Drew Stubbs. What is happening to him right now is what I feared when everybody was demanding that he be brought up from Class AAA Louisville. He was not hitting well in Triple-A, so what is happening up here is not only understandable but criminal.

The kid is clearly overmatched.

He singled his first time up Wednesday against the Brewers, then struck out four straight times. He is now .156 and is 5 for 32 with one RBI. In 32 at bats he has struck out 10 times.

The hope is that he wasn’t rushed too soon, that he isn’t ready and that his confidence is being shot down like clay pigeons at a trapshoot.

OK, another McCoy Top Ten.

Oh, no, another McCoy Top Ten, this time my favorite food/snacks/drinks at National League ball parks as the ol’ traveling career winds down:

Top Ten Ball Park Food/Snacks

ONE: Nationals Park (Washington) Five Guys & Fries — That’s right, a Five Guys & Fries right in the ballpark. If they had a Five Guys & Fries in my bedroom I’d never leave.

TWO: Dodger Stadium (Los Angeles) Dodger Dogs — They’re a foot long, they come right off the griddle and you can’t eat just one. Hey, if Vin Scully likes ‘em that’s good enough for me.

THREE: AT&T Park (San Francisco) garlic fries — The booth is right next to the pressbox and you spend the entire game sniffing cooking garlic until you can’t stand it and you leave the game when it’s tied 1-1 with the bases loaded and two outs to go stand in line. Lots of napkins and breath mints a must.

FOUR: Wrigley Field (Chicago) big, big burritos from El Mexicano — OK, OK, they don’t sell ‘em in the park, but it is a half block outside the stadium under the El tracks. For $5 you get a burrito so large they could use it as an official NFL football.

FIVE: Citi Field (New York) Shake Shack — For those of you old enough to remember the days of diners and drive-in restaurants, the burgers, fries and milkshakes are right out of the Buddy Holly era. Hold the tomatoes, please, and thicken the shakes and don’t forget the whipped cream on top.

SIX: Citizens Bank Park (Philadelphia) cheesesteaks: They aren’t Jim’s cheesesteaks on South Street, but they’re still worth the walk from the press box behind home plate to dead center field. Mine is always gone by the time I pick it up and walk back to the press box, although I’m afraid I leave a small trail of fallen meat behind me.

SEVEN: Minute Maid Park (Houston) media dining room fried chicken — There can not be a live chicken left in Texas. They’ve been serving this heavy-crusted chicken in the Houston Astros media dining room since the Astrodome opened in 1965. All the chicken in Texas has to come from Arkansas. But it would make the colonel proud.

EIGHT: Petco Park (San Diego) fish tacos — Not sure they still serve them since the move from Jack Murphy/San Diego Stadium. But if they didn’t they should be investigated for food kidnapping. The tacos were so fresh you could almost see the tails swishing.

NINE: Coors Field (Colorado) micro-brewery — Yep, locally brewed beer right down there in the right field corner. Never during a game for me and it is the opposite way from the press entrance when I’m leaving, but I’ve made worse detours in my life.

TEN: Great American Ball Park (Cincinnati) Nuxy’s Knots — Big, hot pretzels that are twisted the way broadcaster Joe Nuxhall used to twist his syntax now and then. I never saw Nuxy eat one, but I’ll bet if you put one next to a beer they’d both be gone in a heartbeat. And I wish I could have one with him right now.

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Reds turn easy into difficult

THE CINCINNATI REDS had a five-run lead with one out and nobody on in the bottom of the ninth. They lost it. Believe it. They lost it. Melted on the field like a Slush-ee on a sidewalk at high noon in August in El Paso.

The led the Milwaukee Brewers, 6-1, with one out and nobody on in the bottom of the ninth.

Jared Burton, Arthur Rhodes and Coco Cordero were blitzkrieged for five runs, then the game droned on and on and on. It so long they had two sausage races and Polish Sausage won both - the one in the sixth and the one in the 12th.

It looked like a big old El Foldo.

But they came back to win. Joey Votto who had errors on back-to-back plays earlier in the game, led the 13th with a home run and Laynce Nix hit a two-out home run, his second home run of the game, and the Reds won, 8-6, in 13.

Both home runs came off former teammate Todd Coffey, who slammed the door on the Reds for two innings, but it was too much when manager Ken Macha asked him to go three.

OK, some other stuff before I try to go find a cab in the rain. Without a roof, this game might not have made it past five innings. Loud thunder rattled the roof, so loud that Milwaukee starting pitcher Jeff Suppan was ready to deliver a pitch when thunder rolled and he stepped off the mound.

And they had a flood in the stadium not long ago. About two feet of water submerged the entire lower level, including both clubhouses.

Now, some other stuff:

TO MR. REDLEGS (ORIGINAL): McCoy? Italian? My grandfather was German but every other relative has kissed the blarney stone. Stone, cold Irish.

As for ketchup on Italian sausage, I put ketchup on everything - scrambled eggs, omlettes, all meat, french fries, home fries. I’ve put ketchup on some of the finest steaks in the finest restaurants in the country. Hey, I’m paying $45 for a steak, I eat it the way I like it.

TO DAWGPOUND: Jack Reacher may be my favorite fictional character. That’s the main reason I lover Lee Child novels. The guy takes guff from nobody, travels light and travels often and is smarter than the average bear. I’d love to be just like him for one week, except why does he always turn down the women?

TO NAPOLEAN 2: You are so right, my friend. Folks involved with unions should know what Commissioner Selig deals with. He has had to fight Marvin Miller and Don Fehr every step of the way to get anything done involving the players - and mostly testing for steroids and PHDs.

He has put a drug-testing system in the minors that is stiff and it is working because there is no Players Association interference. Believe it or not, the Players Association is still fighting him on steroid testing. I blame the Players Association far more than I’d ever blame Selig.

TO REDS/PETE FAN: Pete Rose did NOT bet on every game. He only bet on games he THOUGHT the Reds might win. He did not bet on games he thought they might lose. And you know what that told the bookies? That told them that Pete didn’t think the Reds would win, so they would bet against the Reds. A bookie told me Rose didn’t bet on games pitched by Dennis Rasmussen (he was having a bad year) and Mario Soto (he had a sore shoulder).

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Thirty minutes with Bud Selig

What a spectacular view. It is on the 30th floor of the US Bank Building, the tallest building in Milwaukee. He has a huge corner office with a panorama of Lake Michigan.

The office is occupied by Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig and I spent 30 minutes visiting with him this morning.

Say what you want about the man, he is a compassionate, caring man. If he is your friend, he is your friend forever.

He invited me because he is legitimately concerned about my future and what lies ahead for me after covering the Cincinnati Reds for 37 years. I told him I’ll be fine, but he made me promise I’d call him if I needed anything, anything at all.

A new Mercedes would be nice, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean that.

The reception room when you walk in from the elevator is circular and there is enough memorabilia in it to spend a few hours gaping. There is a gigantic circular rug that is a baseball, white with red stitchings.

The most eye-catching piece of furniture is a couch made entirely of baseball bats. The three cushions are actual genuine bases. Fittingly, one of the front supports on the couch is a Ted Kluszewski bat. His nickname was Big Klu and his bat was big, big, big.

There are baseballs with each team’s log perched atop three gold crossed bats. There are statues, including one of Mighty Casey - not Sean Casey, but Casey from the Mudville Nine.

Bud’s office is a museum, too. Jackie Robinson is displayed prominently, including one photograph that his widow, Rachel Robinson, gave to Selig. There is a signed photograph from Joe DiMaggio, “My all-time favorite player,” he said.

Selig laughed as he pointed to a picture of Robinson watching Bobby Thomson touch second base after hitting the historic home run in 1951 that beat the Brooklyn Dodgers and put the New York Giants in the World Series.

“Robinson was so mad he stood and watched Thomson, just to make certain he touched second base,” said Selig.

Selig is one of the least ostentatious wealthy men I’ve ever known. He makes $18 million a year, but you’d never know it. Nearly every day he buys his lunch from the same sausage vendor on Wisconsin Avenue, near his office. He has used the same barber forever.

His house in the Milwaukee suburbs is modest, the same house he had when he sold cars and when he became owner of the Brewers. He no longer owns the Brewers and his daughter no longer runs it. They sold out.

But Selig, a dedicated Milwaukee citizen, maintains his office in Milwaukee, while the rest of the Major League Baseball Offices are on Park Avenue in New York.

Much of the conversation was privileged and off-the-record, just a personable chat about baseball, the economy and my future.

There was some talk about Pete Rose and Selig put it all in perspective when he said, “You know, the reason I’m sitting in this office is because of the 1919 Chicago Black Sox scandal (when the White Sox threw the World Series to the Cincinnati Reds). That’s the only reason we have a commissioner now. They hired Judge Kennesaw Mountain Landis. Without that, I wouldn’t be sitting in this chair.”

Bud was busy for lunch and I was indebted that he thought enough of me to give me 30 minutes out of his busy day. In his honor, on the way back to the hotel, I stopped at a sidewalk vendor and bought two Italian sausage sandwiches with ketchup, relish and onions. Healthy? No. Good? Delicious.

Then I parked myself on a park bench near the river that runs through downtown Milwaukee, lit up a Romeo & Julietta and read my latest Lee Child novel.

MANAGER DUSTY BAKER’S 103rd different lineup for Tuesday’s game against the Brewers: Drew Stubbs, cf; Paul Janish, ss; Joey Votto 1b; Brandon Phillips; 2B, Scott Rolen, 3b; Lakynce Nix, rf; Jonny Gomes, lf; Corky Miller, c; Bronson Arroyo, p.

THE REDS have some interesting pitching plans for the next few days.

On Wednesday, Kip Wells comes out of the bullpen to make his first start for the Reds. On Thursday it is Justin Lehr. On Friday against the Dodgers it is Homer Bailey. On Saturday it is probably Micah Owings (if he isn’t needed to back up Wells Wednesday). If Owings pitches too much Wednesdahy, the club probably would call up Matt Maloney for Saturday (it is his turn for Louisville that day) and Sunday it is back to Bronson Arroyo.

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Bailey brightens another dastardly day

Change the wishbone ‘C’ on their jerseys and make it a red cross.

When it comes to injuries, the Cincinnati Reds can’t get out of their own way.

They won a game Sunday in Pittsburgh, 4-1, to scramble back out of last place, but they lost three players.

On Saturday night, pitcher Aaron Harang underwent an emergency appendectomy and is out for the season. Outfielder Chris Dickerson suffered a severe sprain of his left foot and is headed for the disabled list. Catcher Ryan Hanigan took a foul ball off his mask and suffered a mild concussion.

The Reds left Pittsburgh after the game, bound for Milwaukee on a chartered airplane. They should have used a hospital ship.

This is beyond believe, beyond incredible. Harang is the seventh Reds to under a surgical procedure this year. With Harang and Dickerson on the DL, the Reds will have eight players on the disabled list, including six players from the Opening Day roster.

OK, SO the Reds won one Sunday - a nice effort by Homer Bailey that was overshadowed by the medical reports.

The Reds scrambled out of last place after only a few hours of occupancy, but fear not, there is ample opportunity to lay permanent claim by season’s end.

Their argument is with the Pittsburgh Pirates, whom they beat Sunday, 4-1, in PNC Park to scoot past them by a half game and into fifth place in the National League Central.

But in their final 39 games, the Reds play the Pirates 10 more times. And by the end, there may not be enough Reds left standing to put up a decent cat fight.

Harang is out for the season after Saturday’s emergency appendectomy.

Dickerson is headed for the disabled list after he left Sunday’s game in the third inning. He rolled his left ankle on a slide into first base, suffered a severe sprain and wore a protective boot after the game.

“Does look good at all,” said manager Dusty Baker. “Look as if he’s headed for the DL.”

But, wait. There’s more. Catcher Ryan Hanigan took a foul ball off his mask that jarred his face and he left the game in the eighth inning and was diagnosed with a mild concussion.

Bailey stuck around for seven innings, an amazing accomplishment after he needed 28 pitches to survive a bases loaded situation in the first inning.

He gave up two hits in the first, then two more over the next six innings during a 114-pitch day that earned him his third win.

“It’s an epidemic, that’s all I can say,” Bailey said of the injuries. “I’m considering wrapping up in pads to look like the Michelin Man.”

Of Bailey’s slow start, Baker said, “It was big when he got out of the first inning when he had the bases loaded. If the Pirates get out of the gate fast there, who knows? He didn’t have all his off-speed pitches but he went basically with his fastball. When you locate the fastball, especially with his velocity, it shows you can win.”

Bailey didn’t disagree.

“I was off in the beginning of the game,” he added. “But I kept going after them. Early on I didn’t have good stuff, but later on it started getting better. I threw some good breaking balls early that they laid off, so I thought, ‘Well, if they aren’t going to swing at those, maybe they’ll swing at my fastballs.’”

And they did.

Asked if the Sunday Bailey was the Bailey he’d like to see more often, Baker said, “Well, yeah, but if you can do that every time out, you’re Chris Carpenter. Potentially, who knows. He can be there.”

Offensively, Brandon Phillips drove in two runs, one in the first and one in the seventh and provided two hits. Paul Janish had two hits and Joey Votto had a pair of hits and drove in a run.

“Well, we scored just enough to win,” said Baker after the 10-hit attack produced only four runs and 10 runners left on base.

Bailey was the big reason and surviving the first inning was the biggest step. Time after time time it seems Bailey starts slow and builds momentum. He came out after the seventh, but that was a quick 1-2-3 inning and he said he could have pitched the eighth, “But we won, so that’s fine.

“Usually toward the end of a game I start feeling stronger,” he said. “If they asked me to pitch the eighth, I could have. Why do I get stronger as the game goes? It’s hard to say. I’ve always been that way. Don’t know. Beats me.”

On this day it didn’t beat him.

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…And down goes Dickerson

Aaron Harang (appendectomy) will have company in Cincinnati Monday.

Outfielder Chris Dickerson left Sunday’s game in Pittsburgh after he rolled over his left ankle trying to slide back into first base in the third inning. He was called out on the pick off play and stayed down, some thought in embarrassment.

As it turned out, he suffered a sprain of the ankle. While the team was to fly to Milwaukee after Sunday’s game, Dickerson joined Harang back in Cincinnati to be evaluated Monday by team medical director Dr. Tim Kremchek.

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Harang undergoes emergency appendectomy

The cliche is, “When it rains it pours,” but with the Cincinnati Reds it is more like when it rains, you get Niagara Falls.”

The latest? Pitcher Aaron Harang was rushed back to Cincinnati by car during Saturday’s game in Pittsburgh and ended up with an emergency appendectomy. Most likely he won’t pitch the rest of the season.

Harang showed up at the park Saturday afternoon with pain in his side. An examination revealed that it was an appendix. It was also determined that he shouldn’t fly in case he needed surgery quicker than expected, so equipment manager Rick Stowe drove him back to Cincinnati.

“There were prepared to stop in Columbus, if needed, but we were told he was in no danger of it bursting before he got back to Cincinnati,” said manager Dusty Baker. “We thought it best to get him back to his family for the surgery. It was done around 11 o’clock last night.”

Harang is the seventh Reds player this year to undergo some sort of surgical procedure and Baker shook his head and said, “I had one really bad year with injuries in San Francisco and one really bad year with injuries in Chicago. But nothing like this. This is the worst.”

Baker said he is unsure who will take Harang’s turn in the rotation Wednesday in Milwaukee. They could start bullpenner Carlos Fisher, of whom they talked about turning into a starter, or they could bring back lefthander Matt Maloney.

“We’re discussing and weighing our options,” said Baker. “Right now we don’t know. This is so unbelievable. Seems like every time we get somebody back, we lose somebody. We get Scott Rolen back today and we lose Harang.”

If he is done for the season, which has only five weeks to go and with the state of the Reds there is no reason for him to come back, Harang finishes 6-14 with a 4.21 ERA in 26 starts, 14 of them quality starts (six or more innings, three or less runs).

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Eating it up - and landing in last

If you don’t want to read about the Reds falling hard, not only losing to the Pittsburgh Pirates to fall into last place, but losing by 10 runs, well, skip down a few paragraphs and make yourself hungry.

I’ve listed my 10 favorite places on the road to eat lunch and today I wish I had stayed in a restaurant rather than to wander into PNC Park and watch the Reds seek their level - last place in the NL Central.

Justin Lehr, who doesn’t throw hard enough to break your grandma’s rocking chair, relies on location to get hitters out. It was evident early he was aiming for Pittsburgh and finding Pottsville in the first inning.

The Pirates reached him for three runs and four hits in the first and another run and two hits in the second and the Reds could have gone to the restaurant of their choice. This baby was history.

The Pirates just kept stretching it out - 4-0, 4-1, 5-1, 6-2, 10-2, 12-2.

The dreary reality: The Reds are 9-26 since the All-Star break when they were five games out of first place. Now they are a season’s worst 20 games under .500 and are in sole position of last place for the first time since April 8 when they were 0-2.

Enough of this stuff. As I write this, KC & The Sunshine Band is performing on the field and a very fat and a very bald KC went to the mike and said, “I’m 58 years old take a good look, because this is what Justin Timberlake is going to look like in 30 years.”

That might be the quote of the year.

A SATURDAY afternoon in Pittsburgh means an automatic six-block walk for me to Primanti Brothers for lunch and it was nice to walk into the place and have somebody at a table immediately say, “Hey, Hal McCoy. We’re going to miss you brother.”

I’ll miss all of you, too. In fact, if ever you see me, anywhere, any time, whether I’m alone or with Nadine or eating or with a bunch of people, please stop by and say, “Hi.”

And now, as a culinary service to all of you, I’m listing my Top Ten places where I go for lunch on the road.

ONE: Charlie Gitto’s in St. Louis: I get the sausage linguine every time. In fact, we had a three-day trip there this year and I was at Gitto’s all three days ordering the same thing.

TWO: Primanti Brothers in Pittsburgh: They stuff a mountain of french fries and a bucket of cole slaw between the bread on every sandwich. Messy? You bet. Good? Beyond great.

THREE: Jim’s Steaks in Philadelphia: I’ve tried most of the famous places in Philadelphia, but Jim’s, to me, serves the best Philly cheesesteaks. Locals tell me to just find a mom and pop place on any side street and they’ll be better. After Jim’s, better can only be by a small degree.

FOUR: Pappasito’s in Houston: A Tex-Mex delight. The chips are hot, right out of the oven that sits in the middle of the restaurant with a senora making them. Any Mexican dish you order is a delight.

FIVE: Rocky Mountain Diner in Denver: If you’ve never had buffalo chili or buffalo meat loaf, don’t turn up your nose until you’ve tried it. I had to take my nose off the ceiling and be talked into trying it, now it’s chili and meat loaf, every time.

SIX: Front Page News in Mid-town Atlanta: Why? Obvious. Check the name. Very good sandwiches. Why is it The Front Pages News? The owner just likes reading the newspaper. My kind of guy.

SEVEN: Giordano’s in Chicago: Best deep-dish pizza I’ve found. For lunch they serve individual small pizzas. The first time in there I tried to order a regular small pizza and they talked me out of it. Said I wouldn’t be able to eat half of it. I saw one at the next table and it looked like a truck tire. The waitress was right.

EIGHT: Alioto’s in San Francisco on The Wharf: I never go inside. They serve New England-sytle clam chowder in bowls made out of sourdough bread on the sidewalk outside the place. Get a bowl, grab a bench and peer out over San Francisco Bay at Alcatraz or watch the sea lions and listen to them bark.

NINE: Oreganos in Scottsdale (Phoenix): A great outdoor setting where you can stare at Camelback Mountain while eating the Pablo Picasso salad, a meal in itself and all of the portions are as big as Camelback. A salad? Well, I had to get something healthy in this list.

TEN: Any hot dog vendor on almost any corner in Manhattan: If I don’t get one of these for lunch, I get one when I get off the subway after coming back from a game at the ball park. Late? Yes. Dangerous to the stomach and to a fitful night of sleep? Yes. Worth it? You betcha.

**Special note: Any Five Guys & Fries in any city: Best hamburgers ever and enough delicious skin-on-fries to feed McHale’s Navy.

THERE IS another game tonight, The Battle for the Bottom of the NL Central. Loser of the Pittsburgh-Cincinnati game clunks to the bottom of the standings.

And here is manager Dusty Baker’s 101st different lineup/batting order in the first 122 games: Drew Stubbs, cf; Adam Rosales, 3b: Joey Vott, 1b; Brandon Phillips; Jonny Gomes, rf; Wladimir Balentien, lf; Ryan Hanigan, c; Paul Janish, ss; Justin Lehr, p.

SCOTT ROLEN played his two games on rehab for Louisville and is back with the team. He’ll be activated Sunday and Baker said he will play.

Rolen was examined today by what he called one of the nation’s foremost authority on concussion, “Tested me and we talked for a long time and he cleared me,” said Rolen.

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Dissecting another disturbing defeat

Desperate times, desperate measures, depressing results.

This is what it has sunk to as the Cincinnati Reds fade to black, now only a half-game out of last place after losing Friday to the last-place Pittsburgh Pirates, 5-2.

Manager Dusty Baker is reduced to desperation. And he knows it and admits it and explains it.

The Reds had scored a run in the seventh to draw within 5-2 and they had runners on first and third with one out. The runner on first was fleet-footed rookie Drew Stubbs. Baker flashed the steal sign, but he was thrown out.

“We ain’t been driving in runs, ain’t been picking ‘em up when we have a chance,” said Baker. “That’s one reason I ran Stubbs. The pitcher was 1.5 seconds to the plate (Jesse Chavez) and Ryan Hanigan (the batter) has been hitting into some double plays lately. I didn’t want that to happen and end the rally without a chance to steal that base, get a hit and get two runs.

“Ryan Doumit (Pirates’ catcher) threw it right on the toe, you couldn’t make a better throw than that on a running count, 2-and-2, breaking ball down in the dirt. He came up with it and made a great throw,” said Baker.

That was just one instance during a frustrating throwback night.

The Pittsburgh Pirates and Cincinnati Reds engaged in some haberdashery nostalgia Friday in PNC Park, wearing the same style and color uniforms they wore in 1979.

Both teams could only wish and dream it was 1979, when the Pirates won the East and the Reds won the West and the Pirates took three straight from the Reds in the National League’s best-of-five playoffs.

Nothing has changed, other than where the teams are in the standings — the sixth-place Pirates beat the fifth-place Reds, 5-2, to pull within a half game of the Reds.

Thirty after the ’79 playoffs, the Pirates are working on their 17th straight losing season, longest in all of professional sports. The Reds? They’re working on their ninth straight losing season and doing a mighty fine job of it.

There were several clues that these were knockoff uniforms (the Pirates wore gold jerseys, black pants and gold pillbox hats), clues other than the fact Joe Morgan, Dave Concepcion, George Foster and Johnny Bench were not in Cincinnati’s lineup and Dave Parker, Willie Stargell, Bill Madlock and Phil Garner were not in Pittsburgh’s lineup.

Most players wore their pants over their shoes, hiding their socks, and the Reds wore white logo trim on their shoes, something former club president Dick Wagner forbid (players had to wear black shoes with the white trim polished over in black).

The Reds took a 1-0 lead in the third Friday, but Micah Owings gave up a three-run home run to rookie Garrett Jones and a solo home run to Lastings Milledge and the 100th different lineup/batting order by manager Dusty Baker in his team’s first 121 games didn’t produce much action.

“Too many bad two-strike pitches right there — on both home runs,” said Owings, now 6-12 on the season. “I have to work to make better pitches.”

Owings said he was trying to jam a fastball in on Jones (the three-run homer), “But it came back over the plate and he put a good swing on it.”

The Reds were up to familiar tricks, putting the first batter of an inning on base five times and that runner scored only once, while the Reds stranded seven in those innings.

And here is an eye-popper. When Drew Sutton singled in the eighth inning, it was the first Reds’ hit with runners in scoring position since Tuesday — and it didn’t score a run, only moved Laynce Nix from second to third, where he expired. Since Tuesday, the Reds are 1 for 23 with RISP, which is why they RIP.

Baker was amazed by the numbers — one hit with runners in scoring position over the last three games and five runners leading off innings getting on base and only one scoring.

“We had quite a few chances,” said Baker. “We outhit them (9-5), but they outhomered us (2-0). We had a lot of runners left on base (10) and we’re just not getting that hit with runners on base. You can get all the hits you want, but you have to get some RBIs.”

On Owings, Baker said, “He centered the ball over the plate and got them up, especially on the wrong guys. The big guy in right field (Jones), man, you center that ball and he is going to lose it.”

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Topical topics after getting to Pittsburgh

Not that anybody would really be in a hurry to get to Pittsburgh - although I love PNC Park and the view of downtown and the Allegheny River and the Roberto Clemente Bridge.

OK, door-to-door by car from my house to downtown Pittsburgh is four hours. By plane? Well, it took me seven hours today. There are no direct Dayton-Pittsburgh flights so I had to fly to Detroit and connect to Pittsburgh.

So I got up at 5:15 this morning to catch a Northwest flight to Detroit, scheduled to leave at 6:20. The key word here is scheduled.

At 6 a.m., an announcement was made at the gatehouse: “We’ll board as soon as the crew arrives.” Ah, c’mon. I got up at 5:15. Why couldn’t they? Heck, I would have had Nadine swing by the hotel and pick ‘em up.

At 6:25 a.m., this announcement: “We’re trying to locate our crew.” Locate? How do you lose an airline crew? Did they look in the donut shop? I called Nadine to tell her and she said, “The lady that is on TV every morning talking from the airport about flights just said, ‘All flights are on time. No delays.’ “

There you have it, folks. Don’t believe her. She lies.

The crew arrived at 6:40 and the first thing I saw as the pilot passed me was a big, wide yawn. Oh, joy. Can I take a bus? Hell, I could hitchhike to Pittsburgh faster than Northwest was going to get me there.

Finally, aboard the plane, a belligerent flight attendant got on the intercom and said, “We had to get our eight hours on the ground. We arrived late last night. You don’t want us doing our job halfway, do you? I didn’t think so.”

Then she walked down the aisle slamming the overhead bin doors as hard as she could and they sounded like rifle shots. One guy in front of me who had dozed off jumped straight out of his seat, probably looking for the sniper-assassin.

We left at 7 a.m. And, of course, we circled the Detroit airport for 25 minutes, presumably looking for a parking space. We left the gate in Detroit at 10:05 and, I kid you not, we taxied for 35 minutes. I thought we were driving to Pittsburgh and checked out the window to see if we were on the interstate.

Air travel, I just love it. But I’m here, safely ensconced in baseball’s highest pressbox, eye-to-eye with the folks on the 35th floor of the UPMC building across the river and waiting for flights landing at Pittsburgh International to fly under the pressbox.

SO WE BEGIN a period where the Reds and Pirates play 13 times between now and the last series of the season - The Battle for the Bottom.

Both teams are filled with unfamiliar faces and it is a good thing they wear their names on their uniforms. Pirates clubhouse manager Kevin Conrad went on a trip with the team last week and said, “I wore a name tag that said, ‘Hi, my name is Kevin Conrad.’ ” He could have added, “And what’s yours?”

Reds manager Dusty Baker was poring over stats and information on the Pirates before Friday’s game and said, “They’ve changed a lot since the last time we saw them. It helps that we played them so much in spring training.”

And it’s for sure the Pirates were in their clubhouse scratching their heads, too. With Brandon Phillips out of the lineup with a sore wrist, first baseman Joey Votto was the only player in the lineup from Opening Day for the Reds.

The Pirates win this one, 2-1. They have two players in tonight’s lineup who were in the Opening Day lineup - catcher Ryan Doumit and third baseman Andy LaRoche.

REDS EQUIPMENT manager Rick Stowe unzipped the ball bag for batting practice and said, “We may not lose too many balls today. We’ll get ‘em back. Nobody here.”

They might draw a crowd tomorrow night. There is an after-game concert: K.C. & The Sunshine Band. It’s not certain if they’ll perform from wheelchairs.

ONE OF the big questions concerning the Reds for next year is: Who plays shortstop?

Baker says no to moving Brandon Phillips from second base to shortstop and added, “That’s why we’re giving Paul Janish a good look the rest of the year.”

There is no doubt Janish carries a glittery glove and a Winchester rifle arm, but he has not shown an ability to hit, not even in the minors. He is hitting .204 heading into tonight’s game and when Baker was asked what Janish needed to hit to be the regular shortstop, he said, “I’d say .250, if we can surround him with some offense.”

About Phillips, Baker said, “Not that he is the calibre of Joe Morgan, but why move an All-Star second baseman to shortstop? So you try to develop a shortstop and leave that strong position (second base) alone. That shortstop is a lot of work. You probably work as hard at shortstop as, well, probably only the catcher is involved in more plays.

“That’s why I admire offensive shortstops like Cal Ripken Jr., Alex Rodriguez, when he played short, and Derek Jeter. That’s double duty, man. That’s like Willie Mays playing center field and batting third. You are carrying most of the offensive weight and most of the defensive weight, too. If Phillips played short, how much would that affect his offense?”

BAKER ALSO was asked about the soon-to-be crowded third base situation. If Scott Rolen is the man for the next couple of years, what’s to be done with top prospect Juan Francisco, promoted to Class AAA Louisville last week and not far from the bigs? Could Francisco be moved to left field?

“I don’t know, man,” said Baker. “I haven’t seen him enough. We worked him there some during spring training (left field) and (coach) Billy Hatcher worked with him. You know if a guy carries a big bat you’re going to find somewhere for him to play. We know he is going to be a good hitter, especially when he learns the strike zone. He’s still young (22).”

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So what is “The Grand Plan?”

Nearly every day WLW, the Cincinnati Reds flagship station, plays a sound bite from CEO Bob Castellini in which he says, “We’re just not going to lose any more.”

That sound bite comes from two years ago and was an answer to a question I posed on the day general manager Wayne Krivsky was fired early in the 2008 season.

The question was, “When are the Reds going to consider some stability in the general manager’s office and in the manager’s chair?”

Castellini wasn’t happy with my question and snapped out the answer, “We just aren’t going to lose any more.”

How is that working so far? As today’s game unfolded, the Reds were 19 games under .500 and the only team below them in the NL Central is the Pittsburgh Pirates.

And that’s all the Reds have left to play for this season - staying out of last place. The Reds and the Pirates play 13 times the rest of the season, beginning tomorrow night in Pittsburgh.

The theme: The Battle for the Bottom.

Since the Reds last had a winning season in 2000 and the manager was Jack McKeon and the general manager was Jim Bowden, the team has been managed by Bob Boone, Dave Miley, Jerry Narron, Pete Mackanin (interim) and Dusty Baker.

The GMs have been Jim Bowden, Dan O’Brien, Wayne Krivsky and Walt Jocketty.

Since McKeon and Bowden left, the theme has been rebuilding through the minor-league system. That’s the stated theme, The Grand Plan.

Well, it has been nine years of losing now and how is that working? The old Brooklyn Dodgers had a chant every year when they were eliminated, “Wait ‘til next year.” With the Reds, it is more like, “Wait until the next decade,” and even that doesn’t work.

The Reds and Jocketty keep saying they have a plan and that plan is the same plan they’ve told fans over and over, “We’re building from within.” They never saw how long that plan will take. Probably won’t happen in my lifetime.

What bothers me is the trade for Scott Rolen - a great guy, a great player. But he is 35 and injury-prone and has played only four games since the July 31 trade. To get him, the Reds gave up two young pitching prospects, Josh Roenicke and Zach Stewart.

Is that building from within? Jocketty says he hopes Rolen sticks around for three or four years.

Why would that be? One of the Reds’’ top prospects is third baseman Juan Francisco, who was recently promoted to Class AAA Louisville. He isn’t far away and one wonders, “If Rolen is around, where will Francisco play?”

Hopefully, somebody with the Reds is watching and studying what the Florida Marlins do. The Marlins spent about $90 million before the 1997 season on free agents and bought themselves a World Series trophy.

After that season, the Marlins got rid of most of their high-priced players and began building from within. And with one of baseball’s lowest payrolls, they won another World Series.

And they keep doing it. Low payroll, high return. They compete every year with one of baseball’s lowest payrolls, doing it mostly with homegrown talent. They are in the hunt against this year, in second place in the NL East, chasing the Phillies.

Why can’t the Reds do it? They could. Easily. If they’d only stick with the plan instead of constantly veering off course to sign players like Corey Patterson, Willy Taveras and trading for a player like Rolen, who will hinder the advancement of Francisco, unless they move him to left field. Then what are they going to do with shortstop-third baseman-left fielder- second baseman Todd Frazier?

Krivsky did a lot of good things in his short time with the Reds, especially in the development department. Krivsky, a long-time development guy with the Minnesota Twins - another team that does it right - was perfect for the Reds “Grand Plan.”

But Castellini became impatient and wanted Jocketty in the GM’s chair. Castellini was a minority owner with the St. Louis Cardinals when Jocketty was GM there.

Yes, the Cardinals were, and are, successful. But they aren’t a developmental team. They spend money. They sign free agents and they make trades for established players.

Perhaps Krivsky’s only curious move was to sign closer Francisco Cordero to a $47 million contract. A team building for the future doesn’t need an expensive closer.

Now he is an albatross on a team that doesn’t win enough to need an established closer. That’s a job that should be handled on the Reds by a young, inexpensive talent - Josh Roenicke was one. Jared Burton could be one. Nick Masset could be one.

If they can, the Reds should trade Cordero - the Phillies and Cubs could use a closer and have the cash to do it. That would save the Reds $25 million over the next two years and make room for more young pitchers to develop.

I’m still scratching my head over why the Reds spent $10 million last off-season to buy a new HD scoreboard. It’s a nice trinket, but what was wrong with the old scoreboard?

You have to have fans in the park to see that scoreboard. The Reds were counting on 2 to 2.5 million fans this year but are headed closer to 1.5 to 1.7 million and there are indications the team will lose close to $15 million this year, according to a person close to the inner workings.

I don’t profess to be as knowledgeable as a club owner or a GM or a scout, but I do think that coming up with a plan and sticking with it would be beneficial.

And then prove to the fans that there is a plan that won’t take another decade to produce a consistent contender - like the Marlins or the Twins or the Tampa Bay Rays.

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A long, scoreless day-night at the ballyard

For various reasons, it has been a very long day that got me to the ball park very early today. Then with a 40-minute rain delay made it even longer.

Not complaining, mind you. This is what I do and this is what I love and it will be a sad day soon when it ends.

Normally, I don’t do this. I write an entirely new blog after a game. Frankly, my eyeballs are spinning and my head is splitting. So what I’m going to do is post most of my game story I wrote for the paper.

Here, though, is a promise. My mother-in-law is undergoing eye surgery tomorrow (Thursday) so I won’t be at the game. But I plan to post a blog with my opinion on where this franchise is or isn’t going, based on what is being said by the front office.

Now, here is the stuff from Wednesday’s 1-0 loss to the San Francisco Giants, dropping the Reds 19 games under .500. Who would have thought this could happen when the Reds were still contending at the All-Star break.

I expected the bottom to fall out, but I didn’t expect the entire iron pot to disintegrate.

When did Labor Day slip past unnoticed? Usually, it is Labor Day when major-league baseball teams buried in mediocrity call up their minor leaguers and put a Triple-A lineup on the field.

It was only August 19, though, and the Cincinnati Reds fielded a team against the San Francisco Giants that was recognizable only to relatives and close friends.

And the result was predictable: San Francisco Giants 1 Cincinnati Reds 0. And the Reds had two hits.

The Reds didn’t have a hit until Adam Rosales singled to right with two outs in the fifth.

The only player on the field who was on the field Opening Day was second baseman Brandon Phillips. And there were five players on the field who were not on the Reds roster on Opening Day, including all three outfielders (Drew Stubbs, Wladimir Balentein, Jonny Gomes).

Stubbs, the team’s No. 1 draft pick in 2006, made his major-league debut and led off the game by swinging at the first pitch he saw and flying to left field. Welcome to the bigs, Cincinnati Reds style.

On his second at-bat he looked at two called strikes on breaking pitches from Barry Zito and then tried to check his swing but was called out.

On his third at-bat in the sixth he nubbed one over the first baseman’s head that landed just inside the right field line for a double, but he led off the ninth by taking a called third strike.

“I had a great time and it was a good experience for me,” said Stubbs. “My first hit was awesome, even though it wasn’t the way you’d like it, a line drive, but a double was great. And it was pretty neat coming off an established veteran like Zito.”

And the medical news, like the nightly TV news, continues to be bad. Joey Votto played the top of the first then left the game with blurry vision and will be evaluated today.

“He had trouble chasing a pop foul in the first and said he couldn’t see it and when a player tells me that an alarm goes off,” said manager Dusty Baker, adding that the vision problem had nothing to do with his stress-related issues earlier this season. “I think he’ll play (today).”

The Giants didn’t get the memo that they were playing the Louisville Bats, although there was evidence when the Reds had no runs and two hits over six innings against Barry Zito, who was taken down for a pinch-hitter when it was 0-0, the ninth time the Giants have not scored a run with Zito on the mound.

That’s because Reds starter Bronson Arroyo was stringing zeros like a math teacher, extending his scoreless innings streak to 17 straight before the Giants scored in the eighth on a single by Edgar Renteria and a double by Nate Schierholtz that left fielder Balentein took a dive on and the ball whizzed past his outstretched glove. Game over.

“You knew sooner or later something was going to break and the breaks aren’t going our way,” said Baker. “We’ve dove for five balls in the last week and we haven’t caught any of ‘em.

“Arroyo was dealing and Zito was dealing and rarely do you see a 1-0 game in this ball park,” Baker added. In 547 games at Great American Ball Park, this was only the fifth 1-0 game.

Said Arroyo, “It was one of the games where you look at the board and say, ‘Well, he’s given up no hits and I’ve given up five, so maybe I’ll sneak out with a win. A lot of times that happens, the guy who throws a little bit better early loses.

Not on this night.

“I left a 1-and-2 pitch up and he (Schierholtz) had been hitting me hard all night,” said Arroyo. “He hit one in the gap and we tried to make a great play, it just didn’t happen.

“Just a good overall baseball game and they just beat us,” Arroyo added. “Losing gets old, but every game is a new story. When Joey went out and I saw all the different players behind me that weren’t there earlier in the season, I figured I might have to throw a shutout to win. We keep piling up injuries and it’s tough to score runs without guys you usually depend on.”

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News: Stubbs, Cueto, Rolen, Bruce

Lots of news and tidbits involving the Cincinnati Reds today involving Drew Stubbs, Johnny Cueto, Scott Rolen and Jay Bruce.

Stubbs is up, Cueto is about to go down, Rolen is about to go down and come back up and Bruce is headed out of the country.

STUBBS, THE soon-to-be 25-year-old first-round draft pick in 2006, was called up from Class AAA Louisville today and inserted into the lineup at leadoff and in center field, the spot occupied most of the year by Willy Taveras, an abject failure at doing what he was brought in to do. Taveras was placed on the disabled list.

Now they’ll see if Stubbs can do what Taveras couldn’t. Stubbs led the International League in stolen bases with 46 in 54 tries.

“I’ve been looking forward to this day all my life,” said Stubbs.

JOHNNY CUETO is headed for the disabled list with “a little inflammation in his shoulder,” said manager Dusty Baker (nod, nod, wink, wink). Micah Owings will come off the DL and start Friday in Pittsburgh.

“Johnny isn’t happy about it and that’s a good sign. We’ll back him off from a couple of starts and he’ll be ready on the 31st,” Baker added.

SCOTT ROLEN took batting practice and ground balls the last two days, then ran on the treadmill, “To get my heart rate up over 80, which about killed me,” said Rolen. He did that program Tuesday and today.

Now he is headed for Indianapolis to play two rehab games with the Class AAA Louisville Bats, “And if all goes well I’ll join the team in Pittsburgh and play Sunday when I can come off the DL.”

FOR THE FIRST time in his career, Jay Bruce is going to play winter ball, “Just a month in the Dominican Republic and I’m looking forward to it,” he said. “Never done it before, but I need the at-bats.”

The cast is off Bruce’s broken wrist, but he still has a brace. He is running, lifting and throwing and hopes to play by early September.

“You have to let broken bones heal, can’t rush them, and with the way things are there is no hurry to get back. But I am anxious and excited to get back and hope I can finish strong and be ready for next year.”

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It’s official: Drew Stubbs is here

Drew Stubbs, the No. 1 draft pick in 2006, is in the Cincinnati Reds clubhouse and has been activated. The 24-year-old outfielder was recalled from Class AAA Louisville this morning.

A corresponding roster move will be announced as soon as the club locates the player and tells him.

Wasn’t Willy Taveras injured last night? Shouldn’t he go on the disabled list? We’ll see. Ah, yes. It is Taveras. The Reds are placing him on the DL.

And Stubbs is in the lineup tonight, batting leadoff.

Stubbs was hitting .268 at Louisville with only three homers and 38 RBIs. His asset is speed afield and speed on the basepaths - 46 stolen bases in 54 attempts.

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Stubbs on his way to Cincinnati?

There’s plenty of chatter today about the Reds calling up outfielder Drew Stubbs from Louisville.

We’ll update this story as we get new information.

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Rosales does it right, Taveras a waste of money

Many of his teammates think he’s goofy with some of the stuff he does, but if more were as dedicated and innovative as Adam Rosales the Cincinnati Reds might be better off. Probably a whole lot better off.

While some are in the clubhouse laughing over what Rosales might be doing, those are the guys who never come out of the clubhouse for anything but batting practice and the game - and sometimes they have to be pushed to batting practice.

I’m the first to say that Rosales doesn’t have talent oozing out his ears. But at least he gives it everything he has and never cheats the customers.

Want an example? Done.

NEARLY EVERY day, when the ball park is empty and nobody is on the field, Rosales emerges from the dugout carrying a bat and two baseballs.

He walks toward the outfield and stops on the right field line. He flips a ball in the air and lashes a line drive to the wall in left center. Then he hits the other ball. Then he sprints to the wall to the retrieve the balls and smacks them back to the foul line and runs after them.

“I try to do it every day,” he said. “I hit nothing but line drives so I get good extension on the bat. Just a little drill. It helps generate power. And it’s nice being out there by yourself taking it all in. I figure I’ll chase the balls then and the fielders can chase them in games.”

And he has a quick wit.

Somebody said when they used to play baseball by a graveyard and nobody would go after the ball if it rolled by grave marker and Adam Rosales said, “Yeah, I guess the ball would be dead.”

WHO IS that No. 55 on the mound for the Giants wearing Tim Lincecum’s uniform? Lincecum won the Cy Young last year and is 12-3 this year, but for the second time in 10 days the Reds are treating him as if he is Tiny Tim or Tim Conway.

They beat him up 10 days ago in San Francisco and they beat him up Tuesday night in Great American Ball Park. What’s the deal here? All those no-names that have beaten the Reds all year and they beat on Tim Lincecum like a toy drum on Christmas Day.

The Reds had five runs and six hits off a guy who had given up four earned runs in his last 33 innings.

OF COURSE, that wasn’t enough. A 5-1 lead wasn’t enough. The Giants had not overcome a four-run lead all year and only once overcame a three-run lead. But the scored four off Homers Bailey, all with two outs, in the fifth inning and it was 5-5.

MY MOTHER-IN-LAW, Lucille Tomczak, is 83 and is a huge Reds fan, seldom misses a game on TV. And when things aren’t going well, she calls my wife, Nadine - and tonight was no different.

As Bailey staggered through the sixth, she called my wife: “Why don’t they take that kid out? You can see he’s tired. Oh, never mind. Finally. Here comes that manager with that damn toothpick in his mouth.”

Easy, mom, easy.

Nadine goes to bed at 9 because she gets up at 4 to attack the treadmill or she might have received a call at 9:10. Pinch-hitter Freddie Lewis hit a ball to dead center. As he has done so often this year, center fielder Willy Taveras broke poorly on the ball, running laterally to his left before realizing the ball was over his head. It fell for a double.

Taveras doesn’t get on base. When he does he doesn’t steal when it is needed. He was brought in to be a leadoff hitter and couldn’t do it and is now batting second. And he is below average in the field. What can Taveras do? He has a nice stereo set in the clubhouse that plays loud, headache-inducing salsa music.

And holy cahooties. Taveras just hit a ground ball to the mound and trotted toward first base. Didn’t run. Jogged. Stopped before he got to the bag. Manager Dusty Baker immediately yanked him from the lineup, replacing him with Laynce Nix.

The Reds later announced that Taveras has a strained right quadriceps muscle. I don’t question the injury, but it was awfully convenient.

As far as I’m concerned, and many other fans are concerned, Taveras can rot on the bench the rest of the season. I’ve seen nothing to merit the millions the Reds have flushed down the toilet when they brought this guy in.

Baker said Taveras hurt himself early in the game when he bunted and dove head-first into the first-base bag as the ball rolled foul. He stayed in and couldn’t run the next at-bat.

“I knew something was wrong when I saw him not run, because that’s not Willy,” said Baker.

The game? Coco Cordero gave up three runs in the 10th and the Reds lost, 8-5. Cordero was snappish after the game when asked if he had a moment. “No, just put down what you wrote when I got saves in San Francisco and St. Louis,” he said.

Now there’s an intelligent response. In fact, I looked for him after his save in St. Louis, but he was nowhere to be found - probably playing cards in the dining room as he does every day before games.

Man, are things unraveling or what?

AND THE REDS and Giants aren’t just competing this week for wins and losses. Insiders say it is down to the Reds and the Giants over who might get outfielder Bill Hall, let go by the Milwaukee Brewers.

The Brewers would like to have Aaron Harang, which would make the salary switch about equal and give both players a new lease on their baseball life.

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Leake, Boxberger play ‘Meet The Press’

The new boys were in town today - Mike Leake and Brad Boxberger, the No. 1 and No. 2 draft picks this year. They are signed, sealed and about to be delivered to Sarasota, where they will work out with the Gulf Coast Rookie League Reds.

They won’t immediately pitch. They’ll be worked out and evaluated and worked with, then pitch in a fall league or in an instructional league, said general manager Walt Jocketty.

Leake is listed at 6-0 and 180, but admits he is closer to 5-10 and knows he needs to put on some bulk before attacking professional hitters.

Leake, a good-looking kid who has spent some recent time in San Diego surfing on the longboard, when he wasn’t working out to stay in shape, said all the right things.

Asked what he thought about coming to Cincinnati, Leake said, “I look a forward to the chance to actually be here some day. I’ve been treated with A-plus first class and I have to work hard to get to this point (Great American Ball Park).

“I’d like to be here as quickly as possible, do my job and do it well. It’s all on my shoulders and hopefully if I do well I’ll be moved up quickly,” he said.

When Jocketty included pitching prospects Josh Roenicke and Zach Stewart in the trade with Toronto to acquire Scott Rolen, Jocketty said he wasn’t worried because the team had Leake and Boxberger on the hook.

“They are quality pitchers from quality programs (Arizona State, Southern California) and they should be able to move up quickly,” said Jocketty.

“I know I’ll have to keep up my stamina for a whole year, stay in shape,” said Leake. “I definitely have to get bigger, gain some weight in my lower half and get some more arm strength.

“I know I have to be patient and work with them, because they’ll want to work with me,” Leake added.

Leake and Boxberger actually faced each other last year, but Leake smiled and said about the outcome, “We’ll just keep it a secret.

“I’m flattered the Reds wanted me because I’m not typical, not at 5-10,” he said. “I’m glad they had the trust to pick me and hopefully I can do something special here. I’ve been trying to get back in shape, mostly doing long toss.

“I have to get ready for four days rest instead of six days rest and they’ll help me doing that,” said Leake. “We played half the season they play, so I have to get ready for that.”

Leake said he knows more about Reds tradition (from long ago) then he thought he did and said he gave all the wrong answers the first time he was asked about it. He’s learning fast.

“I’m aware of the background and the rich tradition they have,” he said. “Hopefully we can be a part of re-inventing The Red Machine.”

Uh, Mike. It’s The BIG Red Machine. But he’ll learn.

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Isn’t it time to protect Johnny Cueto?

Johnny Cueto needs protection, even if it means hiring Pinkerton’s.

But it appears the Cincinnati Reds are about to go into protective mode for the 23-year-old pitcher who has been a mess over his last seven starts - 0-6 with a 10.57 ERA.

There are indications that Cueto might not make his next scheduled start Friday in Pittsburgh. On the same night (Saturday) that the Washington Nationals were committing assault and battery on Cueto (2 2/3 innings, seven runs, eight hits), Micah Owings was throwing 5 2/3 scoreless innings on rehab for Class AAA Louisville against Toledo.

The down side is that he walked five and took 93 pitches for those 5 2/3 innings and his pitch-count and command is what bothers the Reds and manager Dusty Baker.

But at this juncture, isn’t it more important to protect Cueto than worry about whether Owings can pitch five innings with less than 100 pitches.

Best guess. Owings starts Friday in Pittsburgh.

As Baker said, “Sometimes there are things you don’t want to do (bring back Owings) but you have to do them (to protect Cueto).”

Asked about Owings, Baker said, “His pitch count was up (93 pitches) again. We hoped he would go further than 5 2/3. If there is one area he needs improved upon, it’s the walks and consistent location, which will diminish the pitch count and add innings.”

Baker is non-committal about Owings return and said he has to talk about it with general manager Walt Jocketty and pitching coach Dick Pole.

Something, though, needs to be done with Cueto, who obviously has a tired arm after pitching 174 innings last year, then winter ball, the World Baseball Classic and 137 innings so far this season.

“Some things you don’t want to do you have to do,” Baker repeated about adding Owings and skipping Cueto. “The kid (Cueto) doesn’t feel anything. But this is what Dickie (Pole) was afraid of earlier. He was playing winter ball and the WBC, so was he going to run out of gas in the middle of August or will his arm be tight. It doesn’t hurt and he has his velocity, but sometimes when you’re tired you can maintain velocity, but you lose control and command.”

Stay tuned.

SITTING NEXT to me in the pressbox is talented sports columnist Gene Collier of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazettle. I asked him, “Why are you here, to see if the Pirates might be better than either one or both of these teams (Reds, Nationals?”

Collier laughed and said, “No, I’m in town for the weekend doing stand-up comedy at The Funny Bone comedy club in Cincinnati.” I never knew Collier did stand-up comedy, but after watching the Pirates put together 17 straight losing seasons he certainly has plenty of material.

ALL YE haters of Adam Dunn, check this out.

A large group of people was gathered outside the media elevators after Saturday’s game and Nationals first baseman Adam Dunn was among them.

He was chatting with a man in a wheelchair diagnosed with terminal cancer. Dunn posed for pictured and signed autographs, then said to the entire group, “Would like to come back to Sunday’s game”

The group said, “Of course,” and Dunn said, “There will be 10 tickets for you at will call. Come and watch us kick the Reds’ butts.”

Ballplayers are universally criticized for being greedy, selfish jerks. Some are. Most, though, do things behind the scenes that never get out in the media. I just happened to stumble upon the Dunn scenario as I was leaving the park last night.

Good on you, Adam. But he wasn’t good on the Reds during Washington’s winning three of four from the Reds. Dunn was on base 12 times with six walks, two doubles, a single, a home run and two hit by pitches. Is that 12? You betcha.

Geez, couldn’t the Reds use this guy? Oh, that’s right. They had him.

Anyway, Sunday’s game? Another how to put a big fat ribbon on a win and send it to the other team’s clubhouse.

Another day, another fundamental mistake, another costly lesson learned, another loss.

This one belonged to rookie second baseman Drew Sutton, filling in for Brandon Phillips while his swollen left hand subsides from being hit by a pitch.

Sutton’s lapse of concentration enabled the Washington Nationals to score the winning run in the eighth inning Sunday, the run that beat the Cincinnati Reds, 5-4.

Another decent pitching performance by Justin Lehr provided the Reds with a 4-3 lead in the eighth and manager Dusty Baker brought in lefthander Arthur Rhodes.

His first batter was Adam Dunn, 0 for 11 with five strikeouts against Rhodes. But Rhodes grazed the third button on the front of Dunn’s shirt, a hit by pitch.

Josh Willingham then singled. Rhodes retired the next batter, but pinch-hitter Ryan Zimmerman lined one to right field.

And this is where it all came apart.

Right fielder Chris Dickerson charged and sprawled. He reached the ball on his dive, but it bounced out of his glove as Dunn scored the tying run.

Second baseman Sutton retrieved the ball and thought he saw Willingham stop at third. Instead of running the ball in and watching Willingham, or throwing the ball hard, Sutton lobbed it toward Joey Votto.

Seeing that, Willingham broke for home and Votto’s rushed throw was high as Willingham slid across.

“Dickerson dove and I went out and got the ball,” said Sutton. So far, so good. “I looked and I thought I saw Willingham brake down and stop, so I threw the ball in to Joey and I guess he didn’t brake and stop.”

Nope, he didn’t. So far, so bad.

“That was completely my responsibility, my fault,” said Sutton. “I have to be more sure, more heads up, to see that the guy stops at the base. I probably should have run it in.”

Every time Baker believes his team can’t figure out any other way to lose a game, they figure it out.

“Joey had to rush the throw,” said Baker. “That wasn’t a very heads-up play. I thought we were going to get out of the inning when I saw Dickerson converging on the ball.

“He had it for a moment, but that’s been the way for us — every dive is just out of reach.”

Zimmerman, the man who hit the ball, gave credit to Willingham by saying, “He ran farther than I hit the ball (scoring from first base).”

Willingham said it wasn’t something he thought about from the time he took off from first base, “Not until it happened. He (Sutton) just lobbed the ball in, so I took off.”

Pass the smelling salts.

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Reds sign Leake, No. 1 draft pick?

The Cincinnati Reds have not announced it, but there are reports that they have signed their No. 1 draft pick, Mike Leake, out of Arizona State University to a $2.27 million deal.

Leake, a righthander, was 16-1 last season.

In addition, the Reds signed their second draft pick, a supplemental pick - Southern California righthander Brad Boxberger for $857,000.

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Lineup card scribbling: 101

Let’s re-visit the making out the lineup card discussion.

What the heck, what else is there to talk about? The Bengals? Yeah, right. First, though, how about this headline in the Philadelphia Daily News when the Eagles signed Michael Vick: “Watch Your Dogs!”

And then there was a sign held by a fan outside the Eagles’ camp today: “Watch your beagles, Vick’s with the Eagles.”

OK, the lineup card. Manager Dusty Baker was asked a legitimate question before Saturday’s game when he asked about the absence of Wladimir Balentien from the lineup Friday and Saturday, despite a seven-game hitting streak?

Baker was asked, “Is he OK physically?”

Said Baker, “Yeah. He’s playing tomorrow. I can’t play everybody. He was supposed to play Saturday but Gomes hit three home runs Friday, so I had to play him. Laynce Nix has been swinging good.

“The guys we’ve been facing are tougher on righthanders than lefthanders, especially this guy today (righthander J.D. Martin). Lefthanders are hitting .400 off him and righthanders only .200. That kinda answers that, doesn’t it?

“I have to go with the matchups - guys who can’t get certain guys and guy who have the greatest chance to succeed against that particular pitcher. I wasn’t asked about Jonny Gomes, too. This guy today throws a lot of breaking stuff, a lot of stuff not conducive to Jonny’s swing,” Baker said.

“That’s a big part of my job - to match up guys the best I can,” he added. “Except for guys like Brandon Phillips and Joey Votto, who play every game. I have to match guys up to pitchers and swings.”

About Balentien, Baker added, “I haven’t seen him play center field, but his speed is not conducive to defense and I have to consider defense out there, too. When I was playing Balentien, I didn’t have good match-ups for Dickerson.

“I talk to the players about all this, but as manager I don’t have to talk to anybody about anything,” Baker said. “It’s just I’ve always done as a manager. As a player you always like to know why things were done.:

Uh, well, OK. Is it really that complicated. I’m no manager (my card expired in 1982), but it just doesn’t seem THAT complicated, especially when you’re 156 games under .500 and 14 games out of first place on August 15.

CHATTED WITH Washington Nationals pitcher Craig Stammen Thursday and wrote a story that appears Sunday in the DDN and on the web-site.

What a nice kid. He’s from Versailles, up north from Dayton on the fringes of our circulation lines. And he attended the University of Dayton.

And he’s a great story - not on the 40-man this spring, called over from minor-fleague camp to pitch a game, made an impression, now he is in the bigs in the Nationals rotation.

THE GAME is under way and Chris Dickerson led the bottom of the first with a double. Wily Taveras, thankfully not leading off, is batting second. He tried a sacrifice bunt, which should be something he can do, but he bounced it off the plate and it hit him, an automatic out.

Personally, I can’t recall a Reds team in recent history that is as fundamentally self-destructive as this Reds team. If there is one way they can mess things up, then that’s the way it gets messed up.

Joey Votto walked and Brandon Phillips flied deep to left for the second out. Dickerson tagged and headed for third. Why? Why? Why? You NEVER make the third out at third base. And he should have been out, but the throw eluded third baseman Ryan Zimmerman.

No matter, Laynce flied to center and the Reds didn’t score - and fundamentals be damned.

And we’re in the third inning and the Nationals just batted around against Johnny Cueto and scored six runs after Adam Dunn hit an opposite-field home run in the second inning.

This game, of course, is over. Can we just start Sunday’s game now?

As for Dunn, who received a lot of cheers and a smattering of boos as he circled the bases, may he hit many more. As I said over and over when he was traded to the fans who wanted him out of here, “You never know what you have until it’s gone.” They trade Dunn and then they bring in somebody older, Scott Rolen, to provide some punch

Makes no sense to me, but the last time I was general manager my Eldora Speedway softball team finished second three years in a row - just couldn’t beat the Dayton Merchants.

ANYWAY, Cueto is gone - 2 2/3 innings, seven runs, eight hits.

Anybody remember me asking last spring, “What has Johnny Cueto done to earn an automatic spot in the rotation before spring training began?” I thought as a young kid with one year of experience that he needed to win a spot. Well, he is i8-10 right now and showing not much that is better than his 9-14 rookie year.

OH, MY. Joey Votto just singled a run home but rounded first too far and was thrown out. Now Vott is even infected with this awful stuff.

I’m beginning to think this team couldn’t spell fundamentals if you spotted it the fun, which it certainly isn’t having these days.

Enough. It’s 7-1 after three and unless the Reds rediscover a pulse and come back to win, you won’t hear from me the rest of the night. I might be snoozing.

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Do batting orders matter right now?

DON’T KNOW if I can function tonight. The vanilla side of the ice cream machine isn’t working and I have to make do with chocolate. I’ll survive, maybe.

FOR THOSE who have harped and harped and harped on Dusty Baker’s lineup cards, well, early in the season - when it mattered - I concurred with wondering why Willy Taveras kept batting leadoff. Made no sense when he never got on base.

When Taveras walked in the first inning tonight, it was his first walk since July 19 and fourth since May 24. Just pathetic.

But let me ask you. Who should bat leadoff? And don’t give me Chris Dickerson (.267 with a .363 OBP). The Reds entrusted that spot to Taveras when they signed him (Why? Don’t know. He never has had good leadoff numbers).

NOW EVERYBODY is up in the air over Paul Janish batting second. Who else? And who cares at this point where anybody bats when the Reds can’t find first place with mount Palomar? What the Reds need to find out is if Janish can play every day and produce. He is a magician with the glove but a sorcerer with the bat. If he can hit .265 and maintain his magical glove he can play every day.

So maybe batting second and getting a lot of at-bats will give Janish an opportunity to show what he can (or can’t) do with the bat.

REMEMBER WHEN the Reds had two shortstop prospects at the same time, Barry Larkin and Kurt Stillwell? Some Reds’ front office folks wanted to move Larkin to second base and play Stillwell at short.

Larkin balked and said he didn’t want to move to second. Stillwell made the move until finally the Reds traded him to Kansas City. I’ve often wondered what would have happened to both their careers had Larkin moved to second and Stillwell stayed at short?

I was shocked when the Reds traded Stillwell, who reminded me of the Ron Howard character Opie in The Andy Griffith Show. In fact, his teammates called Stillwell Opie. Anyway, owner Marge Schott loved Stillwell and called him, “My little Kurt Stillwell.” That’s why I’m surprised she permitted him to be traded away.

Speaking of Marge Schott, this one is one of my favorite stories and it involves former Valley View High School star Thomas Howard, a former Reds outfielder.

Well, at the same time, Marge had a gardener named Howard. One day, GM Jim Bowden came to Marge and said, “I’m going to trade Howard. The Astros want him.” To which Marge replied, “Why do the Astros want my gardener? Don’t they have AstroTurf?”

Ah, there is a game going on down there. So far it is 1-0, Nationals, but the Reds have runners on first and second with two outs.

Janish just poked a single to right center and, omigod, third base coach Mark Berry is sending 6-foot-7, 260-pound pitcher Aaron Harang on home from second, even though center field Nyjer Morgan had the ball as Harang tagged third.

This is flawed three ways from Monday:

ONE - Harang is running.

TWO - Morgan leads the league in assists with 12.

THREE - Joey Votto is scheduled to bat.

But Harang duitfully trudged homeward and catcher Wil Nieves could have unstitched the baseball and stitched it back together before tagging Harang.

Once upon a time, former Reds Othird base coach Joel Youngblood was coaching third for Milwaukee. When he sent a runner home, a runner that had no chance, Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel writer Tom Haudricourt, shouted out, “Oh for God’s sakes.”

My thoughts exactly. I’ll steal a line from the famous Bob Uecker on this one and say, “Instead of having a third base coach, why don’t they just put a pair of dice out there?”

Bake defended Berry by saying the ball was to Morgan’s left and because he is a lefthanded thrower he had to stop and set, “And he nearly slipped trying to set. Coaching third base is the toughest job in baseball. You make eight great calls, then you make one that doesn’t work and it stands out, especially when you get shut out. Mark Berry has done a great job for us.”

The game? That’s right. The Reds were shutout. What did you expect the Aaron Harang pitching. It was 2-0, even though the Reds outhit the Nats 8-6. Harang gave up home runs to the No. 7 hitter (Ronnie Belliard) and the No. 8 hitter (Wil Nieves) and that’s all it took.

Harang should go on a hunger strike.

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Reds obtain shortstop for Gonzalez

A-Gon is gone.

Alex Gonzalez was traded today to the Boston Red Sox, from whence he came when the Reds signed him to a three-year $14 million contract - a three-year period in which the Cincinnati Reds received virtually nothing from Gonzalez.

The Reds have not named who they will receive, but most likely it is a Class A 23-year-old shortstop named Kris Negron. He is in his fourth year of pro ball, but is still at Class A Salem, where he was hitting .264 with three homers and 34 RBIs. Inin four years, he has played only four games at Class AA, the rest in Class A.

When Gonzalez was signed, I remember Davey Concepcion telling me, “He’ll make you forget me with his defense.” Davey, you are such a liar. A-Gon didn’t even come close. I still remember you and will remember you long after I forget A-Gon’s three years here.

Not that he was totally at fault, and I am not crass enough to not understand why he missed so many games because of an illness to his son, but A-Gon missed a lot of games due to an assortment of injuries, too - from knee to elbow.

During his tenure, the Reds plahyed 438 games. A-Gon played 178 of those guys - not much for a $14 million investment. They paid hlim $5.35 million last year NOT to play a single game. They were paying him $6 million thlis year for his 68 games.

The fact they got a Class A shortstop for him shouldn’t upset anybody, no matter how good or bad he is. The Reds were not going to pick up Gonzalez’s $6 million option for next year after this season, making him a free agent.

This way, they at least got SOMETHING for him.

Who will play shortstop? Well, the Reds promoted Class AAA Louisville first baseman Kevin Barker, so it would appear that Paul Janish finally gets a chance for the rest of the season to show if he can handle the rigors of every-day play.

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Report: Gonzalez heading to Boston

The Boston Globe is reporting that the Red Sox have acquired Reds shorstop Alex Gonzalez.

It’s being reported that Boston has sent shortstop Kris Negron, 23, to the Reds to complete the deal. Negron is hitting .266 with 21 stolen bases in 111 games for the Sox High Class A affiliate Salem this season.

Soxprospects.com describes Negron as exceptionally fast down the line to first, and quick on the basepaths. The site goes on to say that Negron would be a prototypical leadoff hitter if he could make more contact.

We’ll have more as we get details.

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Arroyo: What’s Paris Hilton having for lunch?

Love the quotes from Bronson Arroyo after his complete-game two-hitter. Sure, sure, it was against the Washington Nationals - no biggie, right?

But in USA Today before the game was a lengthy rehash of Arroyo talking about taking supplements that are not on MLB’s approved list. But they are not banned, either, so they are not illegal.

Arroyo again admitted that he still takes the supplements and will continue to take them until somebody comes and takes him and the pills away.

Anyway, here is what he said when asked about it after the game:

“When I take the hill, I don’t let anything bother me.

“Stuff in the paper is inconsequential,” said Arroyo. “We live in a world where people care about what Paris Hilton is having for lunch versus how many guys are getting killed in Iraq. And that’s the truth.

“Look at the Josh Hamilton stuff that came out. Is that more important than how many home runs he has hit? That’s the society we live in and sometimes I speak my mind more than I should and sometimes it blows up in my face.”

Washington’s Adam Dunn, who had one of the two hits, was asked if he and his teammates were bothered facing a guy taking untested/unproven supplements and Dunn said, “We don’t care. Whatever he took was right tonight.”

It’s too bad that stuff like this has to make a guy who hits three home runs in one game share the spotlight with a pills controversy. Jonny Gomes hitting three homers supersedes a pitcher throwing a two-hit shutout against the woebegotten Nationals, except when it is the shoot-from-the-mouth Arroyo, never one to avoid throwing out some controversial syllables.

Anyway, a salute to Gomes:

Gomes brought his own blow torch to the game Thursday night in Great American Ball Park against the Washington Nationals.

And he nearly burned down the house.

Gomes homered his first three times up, leading the Cincinnati Reds to a 7-0 win over the loss-infected Nationals (40-75).

The Gomes homers:

—A 439-foot two-run blast to left off starter Collin Balester in the second.

—A 385-foot two-run rip to left off Balester in the fifth.

—A 410-foot crusher to straightaway center off relief pitcher Jason Bergmann in the sixth.

Add ‘em up: Three homers, 1,234 feet, five RBIs, 1,080 feet of trotting around the bases, biggest smile this side of Miss America, only not phony.

Gomes struck out his fourth time, earning respect when relief pitcher Mike MacDougal buzzed his tower with the first pitch of his fourth at-bat.

“The other time I hit three home runs in one game in 2005 (Kansas City) I hit the third one off MacDougal,” said Gomes. “Maybe he remembered that. Whatever, I wasn’t going to let somebody throwing at me ruin my night.”

Gomes was asked for a curtain call by fans after the third homer and said, “It’s emotional for me. Let’s not forget I started the season in Triple-A. Not too many at-bats later, three home runs.

“Who are we, as ballplayers, without the fans?” he said. “To have them appreciate the grind we have is special. Very educated fans in Cincinnati and I soaked it in for a minute.”

Shuffled to supporting roles were starting pitcher Bronson Arroyo and catcher Ryan Hannigan.

Arroyo held the Nationals to a pair of singles, the first one by former teammate Adam Dunn, en route to his third complete game.

Hanigan, without an RBI since June 13, clubbed his second homer of the year in the second inning, only his second extra base hit since July 1.

Arroyo pretty much shrugged off the day’s controversy and said, “I kept my pitch-count down (103 for the game) and I didn’t have unbelievable stuff. It allowed me to go deep in the game and let me finish it up.”

Of Gomes’’ three homers, Arroyo said, “I thought, ‘That has to be the first time for that in his career, ‘But he said, ‘No, the second time,’ so it’s old hat for Johnny.”

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Selig scores a big one in this corner

Many of you are not fond of Commissioner Bud Selig and I’m sure most of it traces its heritage to Pete Rose. But I want to tell you right now that the guy is a caring, concerned man.

Through the years I’ve gotten to know him pretty well and the man has done nothing but treat me with class and respect.

And his stature with me reached the mountaintop today when my cellphone rang and it was Mr. Selig, expressing concern about my well-being with my impending retirement. I assured him I’m surviving and he said, “If there is anything, anything, I can do, you call me. And I expect that call.”

For the baseball commissioner to be concerned about a baseball writer who is about to no longer be a baseball writer is as heart-warming to me as it gets.

WE ALL want to play The Blame Game - something bad happens, somebody is at fault, somebody has to take the fall, somebody has to pay a price.

And that’s the case with all the injuries this year with the Cincinnati Reds. What’s up with that? Why is it happening?

Manager Dusty Baker was asked point-blank today is there is something the team isn’t doing or something it is doing incorrectly that is leading to the daily string of injuries.

And Baker took the bait but laid no blame other than to say it was a string of misfortune that happens every once in a while to a team.

“If these injuries were leg injuries or hamstrings, maybe. If they were all the same kind of injuries, but they’re not. We’ve had very few pulled muscles. Our trainers and conditionings guys work hard and sometimes you have to chalk things up to misfortune,” said Baker.

“We’re always look for somebody to blame for stuff, always, and sometimes there is not always somebody to blame,” said Baker. “How do you control Jay Bruce (breaking his wrist diving for a ball)? How do you control Chris Dickerson (separating his shoulder diving for a ball)? How do you do anything about what Joey Votto went through (depression)? Diving for balls and sliding head first into bases (Danny Richar) has nothing to do with conditioning.

“I don’t think we’ve had any pulled hamstrings,” Baker added. “Some of it is just bad fortune. There are years like this and there is nothing you can do about it. Our trainers and conditioning people are as good as I’ve been around. They work hard, they are conscientious, they know what they’re doing.”

For the record (so far), the Reds currently have eight players on the disabled list with a medical-book assortment of injuries. Six players have had surgical procedures this year.

As Baker says, “We knew, with our situation, going into the season everything had to go perfectly. No injuries.”

How has that worked out?

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Bailey misses by a foot (his own)

You couldn’t get me to walk onto a baseball field occupied by the Cincinnati Reds for all the caviar in Russia - even if I’ve never had caviar in my life.

That’s a minefield. I’d need double indemnity insurance. Reds players should wear army helmets and Kevlar jackets.

Neither would have helped Homer Bailey Wednesday. He’s the latest victim. He didn’t even survive the first inning. After giving up two hits, Bailey faced Albert Pujols. On a 3-and-2 pitch, Pujols squashed one back through the box and it kicked dust in front of Bailey and short-hopped off his foot. Bailey retrieved the ball and inexplicably heaved it toward first, with no chance of getting Pujols.

The ball hippety-hopped down the right field line as two runs scored, then Bailey walked off the field, done for the day - and who knows for how long.

Bailey suffered a bruised left foot and X-rays were negative - no fracture - but he’ll be checked out Thursday in Cincinnati by Dr. Tim Kremchek when the club returns home to begin an oh-so-exciting four-game series against the Washington Nationals and Adam Dunn.

Bailey was walking without a limp and had his boots on after the game and said he thought he’d make his next start. Manager Dusty Baker agreed.

The Cardinals eventually scored three in the first and with Chris Carpenter pitching, mark this one down in the ‘L’ column for the Reds. It is only the third inning as I write this, but it is as over as over gets.

It was spot-on. Cardinals 5, Reds 2.

Carpenter held the Reds to no runs and two hits for five innings. The Reds threatened in the sixth and seventh. They scored two in the sixth and had runners on the corners with two outs. Carpenter went to 3-and-0 on Willy Taveras, who then went into his beggar’s stance as if to say, “Please throw ball four.”

Carpenter pumped three pitches through the strike zone and Taveras has yet to flinch his bat, which didn’t please manager Dusty Baker

“Carpenter is not going to walk many (none on this night) andf we went down looking (Taveras),” said Baker. “Hate to see guys go down looking. If you’re going to go down, go down swinging.

“Carpenter is one of the best there is in baseball and if you can pitch your way out of trouble the way he can, well, that’s what makes him one of the best pitchers in baseball,” Baker added. “He isn’t 12-3 for nothing. It isn’t just us. And he doesn’t have a 2.20 ERA for nothing. It isn’t just us.

THE MILWAUKEE Brewers optioned former All-Star shortstop J.J. Hardy to the minors today. It is an accepted assumption that Reds shorstop Alex Gonzalez won’t be coming back and here’s a suggestion, no charge for it, either - Hey, Mr. Jocketty. Why don ‘t you give the Brewers a call and do a deal for Hardy. The guess here is that he already has made the phone call.

JEFF Peicoro and Chris Welsh of FSN/Ohio took me to lunch today, a little neighborhood place called Johnny’s.

Uh, nice place. I think the food was good. I even remembered what I ordered - cajun chicken sandwich and rice, bean and sausage soup.

At 11:30, the place was packed. Why? Well, shall I just say, Johnny’s puts Hooter’s to shame - and I’m not talking about the chicken wings. I’m talking about the chicks. The waitresses were beyond description.

I’ve been coming to St. Louis for 37 years and not once did I hear about Johnny’s. The Chamber of Commerce is missing out on this one. What’s the highest rating Zagat gives? Put it at the top because the food was good.

SOME INSIDE STUFF: Even though Aaron Harang and Bronson Arroyo were placed on waivers and cleared, they will not be traded before season’s end. Bank on it. Francisco Cordero? That’s a different story. If somebody comes calling, looking for a closer, Coco is gone-o.

Now in the off-season, that might change. But with Edinson Volquez gone for the season, can the Reds afford to trade Arroyo and/or Harang? Not if they have plans to finally keep a promise and be competitive.

SOME NUMBERS furnished to me by a close media friend who pays attention:

Remember how we all (and I stress ‘we’ because I was among them) wanted Ryan Hanigan to catch every day. Be careful what you/I wish for because it may come true. As a backup to Ramon Hernandez, Hanigan was a hitting fool and his average hovered around .330. Now that he is a regular, matters have changed drastically.

Since July 1, Hanigan has one extra base hit, eight walks and zero RBIs - zero, zip nada. In fact, he hasn’t had an RBI since June 13. He has had two doubles since June 4 and he is currently on a 0 for 20 slide going into tonight’s game. In 230 at-bats, he has eight RBIs, the worst since Eric Owens had nine in 232 at-bats in 1996.

(Thanks Mr. Redlegs-Original.)

THE REDS paid catcher Ramon Hernandez $8.5 million this year and have an option for next year. Should they pick it up? With what Hanigan has done and with what we’ve seen from Craig Tatum, it appears the Reds need a No. 1 catcher. So far their No. 1 draft pick in 2007, catcher Devin Mesoraco, has not shown a whole lot of promise in the minors.

What do you think. Pick up Hernandez’s option, go with Hanigan, or go catcher-hunting?

CHRIS DICKERSON has immense speed on the basepaths, but he has had trouble using it the right way many times this season - like twice Tuesday night. Is baserunning an innate skill or can he be taught?

“It’s something you can teach, bu you don’t want to teach it with trial-and-error in games,” said manager Dusty Baker. “And we don’t have a shock collar to put on runners. I think Dickerson was so excited to be back (off the DL) that he was like a kid in a candy store out there. I mean (first base coach) Billy Hatcher told him at first base to be aware that the pitcher, Justin Lehr, was on second.”

But Dickerson nearly ran him over on a base hit. When Lehr stopped at third, Dickerson was halfway to third, forcing Lehr to break for home and he had a home plate collision trying to score. He was out.

“Baseball is like football, or any other sport,” said Baker. ‘You have to run with your head up. You have to pick up the ball. If the ball is in front of you, where you can see it, you shouldn’t even need a coach.”

Dickerson also missed a diving catch on St. Louis catcher Yadier Molina. He dove to catch it, gloved it, and the ball squirted away for a double. Shouldn’t that have been an error?

“Chris had a long way to run, then lost it in the lights,” said Baker. “He had it, but it also had him.”

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Some more fun at the ol’ ballyard

Maybe this retirement stuff isn’t so bad (he sniffed).

Charley Gitto, owner of Charley Gitto’s (funny how that worked out) picked up my check at lunch today - first time in about 20 years of eating at his wonderful establishment.

During the third inning tonight, they put me on the DiamondVision scoreboard, hard at work in my bright blue shirt, and told of my impending retirement. Polite applause. Thank you, Cardinals fans.

Some of my favorite writers were standing behind me - Rick Hummell, Joe Strauss and Derrick Goold of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch and Bob Nightengale of USA Today/Sports Weekly. I’ve always had a lot of great people standing behind me propping me up.

Strauss always has called me “Old Dude.” He’s right.

They were going to do it in the second inning, but my seat was empty. I was outside the press box door getting my Ben & Jerry’s ice cream fix - cookies and cream, two dips, waffle cone. Let the game continue.

I wasn’t in San Francisco, but I’m told they recognized me on the scoreobard there, too. Classy people. I appreciate it immensely.

Anyway, the Redlegs won a strange one tonight in Busch and Justin Lehr must pitch with a rabbit’s foot in each pocket, a horseshoe in the seat of his pants and maybe even Marge Schott left some Schottzie fur to rub on his chest.

Justin Lehr was in more trouble all night than little brother playing in big sister’s closet, but the Cincinnati Reds pitcher was a marvel to behold, an execution of escape by legerdemain.

Lehr was peppered and plastered for 11 singles in six innings, but somehow held the St. Louis Cardinals to one run and the Reds won, 5-4, in Busch Stadium.

All singles? Eleven singles?

“If you are going to give up hits, they might as well be singles,” said manager Dusty Baker.

And it began oddly. Watching from the Reds dugout, Aaron Harang had to be muttering, “Is that legal?”

The Reds scored three runs in the top of the first inning before Lehr threw any of his 89 pitches, something they never do for Harang, or any other pitcher.

Three runs in the first? They seldom score three runs in a game for Harang. Sometimes not in two starts combined.

Lehr, making his third major-league start after a complete-game shutout over the Chicago Cubs in his previous start, gave up at least one hit to everybody in the Cardinals lineup but Skip Schumaker and Albert Pujols — and how do you do that?

Somebody facetiously asked Lehr about being a slayer of first-place teams and his first utterance was a gutteral, “Huh,” at a loud pitch.

“You’ll never hear that come out of my lips,” he said with a laugh. “You’re never as good as your last start or as bad as your last start.”

About his eventful evening, Lehr added, “I had a good amount of baserunners, gave up a lot of small hits, but they never got the big hit.”

Lehr is a stand-in No. 5 starter for injured Micah Owings, who will make another rehab start before he is given consideration to return, but Baker supports Lehr.

“If the kid — well, he’s no kid, he’s 32 ‘ keeps pitching, it would be tough to take him out. He has battled to get to where he is and at 32 he has learned how to pitch.”

Laynce Nix poked a two-run double and Jonny Gomes pushed across a third run in the first with an infield single to give the Reds and Lehr a 3-0 lead.

The Reds made it 4-0 in the second on a triple by Chris Dickerson and a single by Joey Votto.

Then it was hang-on time for Lehr.

The Cardinals put two on in the first, two on in the second, scored a run in the third but left two more on and put two on in the fifth without scoring.

The Reds turned a doub le play in the second and a double play in the fourth when left fielder Gomes caught a fly ball and threw Yadier Molin out at home on a tag-up.

The last Reds’ run was driven in by Alex Gonzalez, a single in the eighth that was his fourth hit.

The Cardinals scored twice off Nick Masset in the eighth, including a homer by Pujols, his 37th, and once in the ninth off closer Coco Cordero before he closed it off for his 25th save with the tying run on second base.

“An exciting game, but I was having a little trouble breathing in the ninth inning,” said Baker.

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Cueto is OK, but Rolen lands on DL

GOOD NEWS: Johnny Cueto is OK and probably won’t miss his next turn - well, since he is 0-5 over his last seven starts, maybe it’s not so good news. But at least he isn’t hurt. He left after two innings last night with a tight hip flexor. More likely, it was a cramp. Cueto ran in the outfield today and was fine. So, as I wrote yesterday, it was just a boo-boo.

BAD NEWS: As I predicted in today’s paper and last night’s blog, Scott Rolen is on the disabled list with his concussion-like symptoms. Why not just say it like it is. He has a concussion, the third in his life.

Nice trade so far, huh? Not that it is anybody’s fault, but so far the Reds haven’t received much. To me, the positive is that they traded Edwin Encarnacion. He had to go. He wasn’t going to do anything here and I’m not so sure he will ever do much positive anywhere.

I still don’t like the trade, though, because the Reds gave up pitching prospect Josh Roenicke and Zach Stewart. Rolen is a great guy and a great player. I can tell he is an outstanding person from the few times I’ve chatted with him. But he is 35 and he is injury-prone.

And now there is a chance that he might not play much the rest of this season.

Yeah, yeah, don’t forget the Reds received cash, too. I remember once when John McNamara managed the Reds and they traded a key player for cash. McNamara was angry at GM Dick Wagner (wasn’t everybody always angry at Wagner?). When told of the deal, McNamara pulled out a wad of money from his pocket, threw it on his office floor and said, “There’s cash. Cash everywhere. Can that cash play third base for me. Hell no it can’t.”

OMIGOD, as I sit in the pressbox writing there words, I look down on the field and there is this mountain down there wearing a white Cardinals shirt with ‘33’ on the back.

It is NBA Cleveland Cavaliers center Shaquille O’Neal, wearing shoes in which I could sit and ride across the Mississippi River to the Casino Queen. He took a few swings and misses and I swear I saw the Gateway Arch wobble.

Shaq is in town as part of the taping of a reality show in which he is playing different sports against Albert Pujols. If they have a free-throw shooting segment, I’m betting on Albert the Great.

Dusty Baker, a big man, just walked on the field and gave Shaq a hug. Shaq made Dusty look like Gary Coleman.

SPEAKING OF which, I walked six blocks this afternoon from Charley Gitto’s restaurant to the St. Louis Westin hotel (one of the all-time best hotels) and I saw Albert Pujols about two dozen times. Well, I saw people wearing Albert Pujols jerseys with his number 5 on the back. If owned the Pujols shirt concession and made a dollar for each shirt sold in St. Louis, you could retire in St. Lucia.

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Another one bites the dust (Cueto)

WHEN WILL it ever end (Isn’t that a song?). If the Cincinnati Reds don’t have player injury insurance, they’ll be bankrupt by Thursday. Their players keep falling like tin soldiers in a tornado.

Another one bites the dust (Isn’t that a song?) Monday.

Pitcher Johnny Cueto ran halfway to first base after hitting a ground ball to second in the second inning. Then he stopped. He pitched the bottom of the second, then left. The diagnosis was a tight left hip flexor. He’ll be checked tomorrow.

This isn’t a baseball team, it’s a MAS*H unit. They don’t inhabit a clubhouse, they inhabit an emergency room.

WHAT A THING to ask, especially from a pitcher making his first appearance the day he was recalled off rehab for shoulder weakness.

The Cardinals had the bases loaded with two outs when Jared Burton trotted in from the bullpen. Who could blame him if he got to the mound, looked to see who was batting, and sprinted back to the bullpen.

Albert Pujols awaited. The scoreboard showed for all to see that Pujols was hitting .800 this year with the bases loaded and five grand slams. Five grand slams??? The entire Reds team has one (1) grand slam and it was hit by a guy sent packing, Edwin Encarnacion.

Burton retired Pujols on a fly ball to right on his third pitch, then probably sprinted to the dugout to vomit.

SOME QUARTERS are making a big issue out of the fact that the Reds placed pitchers Aaron Harang and Bronson Arroyo on waivers. And they are making a big deal out of them clearing waivers.

Most team put most of their players on waivers at some time, just to see if there is interest. If another team claims Arroyo or Harang, the Reds could pull back the waivers between now and Sept 1 and keep them. Or they could let the claiming team have them and their contracts would go to that team.

Or the Reds can trade them now with no fear of a team claiming them on waivers.

So it is not surprising that no team claimed either one. Too much money. A trade could still be made, but with Edinson Volquez out for next season, it is more likely the Reds will try to deal Francisco Cordero and his fat contract than Harang or Arroyo.

Just remember. The Reds placed Ken Griffey Jr. on waivers nearly every year he was with the Reds and he never went anywhere until last July, and that was not a waivers trade.

NOW THAT David Weathers is gone, nobody makes noise in the clubhouse. The veteran Weathers could stir things up now and then, but I was astounded how quiet it was in the Reds clubhouse before Monday’s game in St. Louis - and the Reds have nust one two of three in San Francisco.

The last time the team was in St. Louis, several players were seated around a table, laughing uproariously as Weathers quizzed 22-year-old Jay Bruce about players from the past.

“Do you know who Rob Deer was?” No. “Do you know who Charlie Leibrandt was?” No. “Do you know who Rob Dibble was?” Yes, he’s the guy on TV and radio. “Do you know who Lou Whitaker and Alan Trammell were? No.

They made great sport of Bruce, forgetting he is only 22 and wasn’t born when most of those players were in the m ajors.

Bruce was in the clubhouse Monday, but there was no frivolity or jocularity.

Oh, the game? Yeah, the Reds lost, 4-1.

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My life passing time on the tarmac

They are going to do me to the last day. Who? The airlines, of course.

On Monday, I sat at the gate in Detroit for 30 minutes while they replaced a couple of indicator lights, then we sat for another minutes on the tarmac, making us an hour late.

It was a Northwest (Delta in disguise) flight and it wouldn’t have been so bad except my seat was the last one on the starboard side. I know starboard from port because in baseball they always call a lefthander a portsider. Why don’t they call righthanders starboarders?

Anyway, I was right next to the starboard engine and it groaned and droned like my Aunt Nellie’s wringer washing machine.

Even though we were an hour late, I got to St. Louis in time to eat lunch at my second favorite Italian restaurant, Charley Gitto’s. I’ll have lunch there tomorrow, too. My favorite? Momma DiSalvo’s in good ol’ Dayton.

REGARDLESS what you think of David Weathers, traded Sunday to Milwaukee, the guy is first class and a pro. In his years with the Reds he did what they asked - and more. He started games, he pitched in long relief and he was the team’s closer when Danny Graves was released in 2007, remaining the closer until Francisco Cordero arrived.

And the 39-year-old Weathers was quick with passing wit and wisdom to younger pitchers.

Yes, he gave it up a few times. All relief pitchers do. And when he did, he stood in front of his locker and answered each and every question. No hiding, no excuses.

Yes, we had our moments. A couple of years ago when the bullpen was getting beat up, I wrote, “This isn’t a bullpen, it is a pigpen.” We were in Cleveland and Weathers came into the clubhouse waving my story and shouting, “So now we’re a pigpen?”

Weathers’ best friend was fellow pitcher Kent Mercker, who happened to be standing next to me. Said Mercker, “Stormy (Weathers), look at the stats. We ARE a pigpen right now. I just hope Hal lets me be the head hog.”

Thanks, Merck.

Weathers and I have been cordial since. He never held it against me, always answered my questions. And I stand by what I wrote - the bullpen at that time was a pigpen.

And now he’s gone - maybe at the right time. He won’t be in St. Louis facing Albert Pujols, who twice hit game-winning home runs off him, one a grand slam.

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Thanks to the greatest readers of all time

As Lawrence Welk used to say, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

And if a reference to Lawrence Welk isn’t enough to push one into retirement, nothing is.

Anyway, your outpourings of love and appreciation that have shown up on this blog caught me flat-footed, something I’ve been all my life. I’d love to say thank you and shake your hand - every one of you. And maybe now I’ll have time.

But, first, let me address some misconceptions that have popped up, some misconceptions and misunderstandings.

I was NOT fired, as one local television outlet screamed on the air last night. Where they got that idea I can’t say. Not from me. Now I know how it is on the other side of the media to be misrepresented. I was not pink-slipped, shown the door, given the boot or 86ed.

Also, I was NOT forced into retirement. I did not have to accept the buyout, which is a generous one year’s salary - one year’s pay for doing nothing, of which I’ve always been extremely competent at doing.

It is MY choice to retire and my choice to take the buyout. I was not forced, coerced or threatened.

Did I want to continue covering the Cincinnati Reds and major-league baseball? Absolutely. Positively. Definitely. But these are hard economic times and the newspaper is unable to do that at this time.

The newspaper and I will talk in the immediate future about me doing some kind of writing for them. What? I don’t know. We have to talk and we will.

But I am a baseball writer. That’s all I’ve known for 37 years. Without it, I’m lost. I have some time to make some decisions and I do have some options.

Until then, I’ll merely say, “Reports of my firing are grossly exaggerated.” The Dayton Daily News would not do that to me. We have had a great relationship for nearly 50 years and I appreciate what the folks at DDN have done for me.

Again, I can never thank all of you enough for the comments on this blog. I don’t think I have any tears left after reading all your kind and considerate thoughts. Don’t worry about me. The pleasure has been all mine. And you, my friends, are the best readers a writer could ever want.

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It’s time to say goodbye

The hammer fell today and it hurts like hell.

They’re putting the ol’ baseball scribe out to pasture and if there are teardrops on your screen, well, that’s from me, just an old softie.

My run is over - 37 years of bliss, doing a job that wasn’t a job. It was pure joy and pure fun.

And I wanted you, all my loyal readers and followers over the past 3 1/2 decades, to be the first to know. The run is nearly over.

The newspaper told me today that it will no longer cover the Cincinnati Reds the same way it has in the past, beginning next season. And don’t blame the paper. It is the economic times and we’re all suffering. They just can’t afford the more than a quarter of a million dollars a year to send me coast-to-coast.

The Dayton Daily News has been nothing but great to me. How many companies would keep a legally blind employee and furnish that employee with a driver and/or a car service to get him to and from games? The paper did that for me and it certainly didn’t have to do it.

The DDN didn’t have to do that, but it did and I’m so forever grateful, just as I am for the 37 years they permitted me to do what I love to do so much.

So it is off to retirement after this season ends. It isn’t early retirement. I’m 68, soon to be 69. But it isn’t something I want to do. I feel like I still have my fastball at the keyboard and can deal with the curves thrown my way.

I feel as if my fingers have been cut off, but the economic times are harsh and I understand and I’m not angry. I just feel as if something good has ended prematurely, something I’m not completely ready to accept, but must.

It was a great run and I thank all of you from the bottom of this decrepit old heart for feeding me the energy to keep doing what I love to do.

I’ll miss the feedback from all of you. I’ll miss going to the ballpark every day, seeing something every week that I never saw before. I’ll miss so many friends I’ve made doing this job. I’ll miss my peers in the press box and the so many people in baseball who have crossed my path and have been so great to me.

I’ll miss sitting down at the laptop every day and reporting on the Reds and major-league baseball. I would list them, but it would longer than George Carlin’s list of words you can’t say on television and even then I’d miss too many people who have been part of my career.

Right now I’m on the back patio, enjoying a Tangueray and tonic with my beautiful and supportive wife, Nadine. I’m sure it is the first of many tonight, so I wanted to get this down before I became incoherent.

My miniature schnauzer, Barkley, is looking at me wondering why his old man is sniffling. Well, it’s time to get out the old scrapbooks and read of better times.

So many times over the year, I’ve dealt with surly ballplayers who never saw hello until it’s time to say goodbye.

I’ll finish the season covering the Reds and baseball, the last hurrah, then say my final goodbyes. They’re putting me out to pasture. I only wish it was center field.

More: Clearing up some misconceptions about my retirement

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A night of a true reversal

I almost forgot. How do you write a story when the team you cover wins? I know one thing, I was wearing out the ‘L’ key (loss) and the ‘D’ key (defeat) on my laptop. The ‘W’ key (win) and the ‘V’ key (victory) are like new.

This is what is so great about baseball. The worst team can beat the best team on any day and embarrass them in the process. A guy who was starting only his second major-league game outpitches a veteran who seemed unbeatable.

And that is what Wednesday night was all about.

In baseball, you expect the unexpected and the unexpected arrives with a neat bow knotted around it.

Such was the scenario Wednesday night in Great American Ball Park when the Cincinnati Reds ended their eight-game losing streak by beating the Chicago Cubs, 4-0.

Who’da thunk it?

EVEN OWNER Bob Castellini was chirping afterward as he walked out of the post-game clubhouse and said to the media, “C’mon, everybody. Cheer up. Tlhat was almost like winning the World Series.”

Cubs starter Rich Harden was 4-0 for his career against the Reds. And Harden was 5-1 this year in night games. In addition, Harden’s pitching opponent was Justin Lehr, making his second major-league start.

Expect the unexpected.

Lehr, his head shaved and wearing uniform No. 62, pitched as if he was fresh from the All-Star game, shutting out the Cubs on four hits, his first professional shutout at any level.

Lehr, never reaching above 87 on the gun, threw 117 pitches after never throwing more than 105, but manager Dusty Baker stood mesmerized as much as the Cubs hitters were mesmerized and said, “ Things were going so well you don’t want to mess with karma.”

AND BAKER BIT into the you-never-know story line.

“I was talking earlier today about how a shutout would be nice and it was an unlikely fellow who did it, but we’ll take it. He threw a great, great shutout. If you believe in miracles, that was one of them.”

In Lehr’s first start, he gave up three runs, four hits and six walks to the Colorado Rockies. This time it was no runs, four hits, one walk, four strikeouts.

“I was more consistent in the zone, mixing my speeds and we got some runs early, which was nice,” said the 32-year-old Lehr, who hadn’t pitched in the majors since 2006 until this year.

“I got comfortable and my guys played every play — tough plays, easy plays and I kept building on it,” said Lehr. “First shutout? Yeah. No rhyme or reason, just the way it goes.”

Lehr was in the Reds system last year but left to pitch in Korea, then returned this year with Class AAA Lehigh Valley (Phillies), eventually returning to Louisville, the Reds’ Class AAA affiliate for cash, most likely a few sheckles.

“I’m not sure how it happened, but it has been a long haul since ’06 when I got the rug pulled out from underneath me rather quickly and it has been really hard getting back,” he said.

He was released by the Milwaukee Brewers early in the 2006 season after pitching 66 games in relief in 2004, 2005 and 2006. LEHR’S ONLY problem Wednesday was like a mosquito on his shoulder and he flicked it away by getting Alfonso Soriano on a called third strike with two on and two out in the fourth. The pitch barely ticked 70 miles an hour.

“I stood him up with a curveball that was actually supposed to be in the dirt but barely got down in the zone at the last second,” said Lehr. “It worked, probably because he hadn’t seen a curveball from me. That’s not a pitch you get away with if you’ve already thrown him a bunch of curveballs.”

Before the sun settled out of sight, so it was still daylight, the Reds scored three runs off Harden in the second inning. And Lehr made them stand up.

Before the game, after he put Rolen’s name on the lineup card after Rolen missed two games, Baker said, “This is nice, real nice.”

How nice?

The first time Rolen came to the plate, in the second inning after Brandon Phillips beat an infield single, Rolen not only collected his first hit, he collected his first two RBIs and he collected his first home run — quit a collector’s item.

That made it 2-0 and the Reds scored again in that inning when Cubs’ pitcher Harden threw away Lehr’s sacrifice bunt.

Baker didn’t say anything about how nice it was writing Lehr’s name on the lineup card, but he had a lot to say afterward.

“That was so, so nice,” he said. “That was sweet. This is a funny game and you just don’t know. In Lehr’s last outing he was just so-so, wild and up in the zone. But tonight he was up when he wanted to be and down when he wanted to be and his curve was working.”

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Don’t jump to misinformed conclusions

FOLKS LOVE to jump to conclusions based on slim or no evidence.

When it was discovered that Todd Frazier is now playing second base at Class AA Carolina, they immediately put him at second base for the Reds and moved Brandon Phillips to shortstop.

Frazier signed as a shortstop, but has played third base and was playing left field most of this season until laset week when he was moved to second base.

Even Brandon Phillips wonders.

When Phillips heard that Frazier is playing second base at Class AA Carolina, he jumped to two quick conclusions:

(ONE)“I’m getting traded,” he said.

(TWO) “Or I’m moving to shortstop.”

Phillips said nobody has mentioned the possibility of moving from second base to shorstop to him, “And who knows in this business. I might be traded. Don’t want to be traded, but anything can happen.”

General Manager Walt Jocketty says moving Phillips to shortstop has not been discussed within the organization.

“We haven’t discussed moving Phillips to shortstop,” said Jocketty. “We moved Frazier to second because he has played left field all year, we know he can play there. He is too good of an athlete just to put in left field right now.

“We know he can play third base and shortstop, but we have Zack Cozart at shortstop and Juan Francisco at third for the future, we wanted to see if Frazier might be able to play second. And so far he has,” Jocketty added.

But that doesn’t automatically put Frazier in a Reds uniform at second base and a shift of Phillips to shortstop.

EVERY YEAR we hear the same things from fans and some media. The team flounders and right away they want to rush up the prospects.

Two years ago it was Homer Bailey. Last year it was Jay Bruce. How has that worked out when the club acquiesced?

Now it’s Drew Stubbs and Chris Valaika. Why do it now? Why bring those guys up into this losing environment. Let’s not constantly rush people to failure. Let them continu to have success in the minors and develop. Prospects are rushed and when they fail or don’t display correct fundamentals, everybody gets hacked off.

Patience, folks, patience. Isn’t that what the Reds have asked of you for, oh, about a decade now?

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How do YOU fix the future Reds?

SO YOU’RE the new general manager. Walt Jocketty has quit in frustration because, “How do you put together a contending team with a $75 million payroll?”

What do you do right now with your Cincinnati Reds? Firing manager Dusty Baker is NOT an option. They owe him $4 million for next year, so don’t even suggest it, don’t go there. Firing managers and general managers is modus operandi around here and all it has done is lead the Reds down a losing path for nine straight years (and, yes, this WILL be the ninth straight losing season).

What player moves would you make? And don’t propose some outlandish trades that the other team would never do. Just tell me what players you’d keep for 2010 and what players you would trade and what does the team need?

Give me your ideas and I’ll give you mine.

IN THE MEANTIME, here’s the latest atrocity performed on the field by the cellar-seeking Reds.

It’s time for the Cincinnati Reds to come up with a promotion: “Guess when the next victory will be and win a season’s ticket for 2010.”

Second place is two season’s tickets.

The Reds lost their eighth straight Tuesday, all eight in Great American Ball Park, and their 14th in 15 games, 6-3 to the Chicago Cubs.

This was one of the ugliest because the Reds had as much oomph and energy as a deflated dirigible, played like a disgruntled laborer who clocked in and sat down without doing any work.

Manager Dusty Baker conducted a post-game meeting, but it was not to scream and yell, it was to smooth and soothe.

“You don’t kick ‘em when they’re down,” he said. “There are times, but now is not one of those. We’re in this thing together and things are going to change — a good final seven weeks.”

The Reds had two hits over the first seven innings, or as Bob Uecker, playing broadcaster Harry Doyle said in the move Major League, “Two hits? We have two $#& *$#@ hits?”

Exhibit A: Adam Rosales tripled with one out in the first. Joey Votto struck out. Brandon Phillips struck out. End of offense when it meant anything.

Willy Taveras singled in the third to break a personal 0 for 18 and the Reds had one other baserunner through the fifth when Ryan Hanigan reached on an error.

Cubs starter Tom Gorzellany shut the Reds out on three hits during his 7 1/3 innings before Votto singled home a run off Sean Marshall in the eighth.

Reds starter Johnny Cueto gave up a home run to Kosuke Fukudome, the game’s first batter. They could have emptied the stadium, turned out the lights and locked the gates. This one was over.

Cueto eventually was nicked for five runs and seven hits over 5 2/3 innings and fell to 8-9, winless in his last six starts.

Newcomer Wladimir Balentien made the score sound respectable in the ninth with a two-run home run that did nothing more than waste fireworks.

“It was still 1-0 when the big hit of the game came from Koyie Hill,” said Baker, referring to a two-run double during a four-run sixth. “Then the pitcher (Gorzellany) hit a blooper to left to get another run.”

The double by Hill was a two-out low liner to center on which Taveras tried to make a sprawling catch but it splattered off his glove and rolled away.

“When he hit the ground it squirted away,” said Baker. “It was a great effort and a great play. But that’s how things have been.

“It was another situation where it seems as if nothing went right for us,” Baker added. “It is going to go right. I just know it is going to go right. We hit some balls hard, real hard. But you can’t guide the ball and we had some guys out there make some great plays on us. No alibis. No excuses. Fact.

“I know, in the bottom of my heart, this isn’t going to last,” Baker said, trying hard to convince himself.

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Rolen displays wit and humor over beaning

IT IS 4:45 in the afternoon as I sit in the press box and they say they are going to play tonight, even though I swear I saw a guy with hammer and nails building a big wooden boat in center field. And I swear I also saw Moby Dick swim across the outfield.

MEDIA RELATIONS director Rob Butcher was asking around the clubhouse for SCUBA divers, something about swimming with the sharks when the team is in San Francisco this weekend. They’ve been swimming with the sharks for nine years and losing every time.

Anyway, pitcher Bronson Arroyo grabbed his wallet and pulled out a card that certifies him as a SCUBA diver. The photo on it was hysterical - Arroyo when he was about 14 with short hair and protruding ears.

SCOTT ROLEN possesses a great sense of dry humor. He isn’t on tonight’s lineup card, another day of precaution, and he was a witty guy talking about getting hit in the head Sunday by a pitch thrown by a friend and former teammates, Jason Marquis.

When I told Rolen I was off Sunday and didn’t see his beaning until a replay later in the day, he said, “Looked good, huh? I have a hard head.”

Rolen said he was not checked out Tuesday, “But I had a CATscan yesterday. It said I had almost the size of a normal human brain. I was real pleased with that.”

Then he got serious for a moment and said, “I had a headache most of yesterday. Today feels a little better, sort of a normal headache.”

As for not playing, Rolen said, “Better safe than sorry right now. I did some work to get my heart rate up right now and felt all right with that. I’m going to hit and do some running, agility stuff, bend over, field some ground balls. It’s all to make sure I don’t have any symptoms or dizziness.

Asked if he had a concussion, Rolen said, “Well, I don’t have any bleeding in my brain. I do know that from the MRI. What they call it medically, it’s not my gig.”

Rolen said it was the hardest plunking he ever took on a baseball field, but added, “Unless you want to count seventh-grade pole vault. I was down for three minutes. But this was the hardest on a baseball field, for sure. When you put it all back together, it almost knocked me out. I was fuzzy for five or 10 seconds. It still hurts me on the spot it hit me through the helmet.”

Rolen said Marquis called him in the clubhouse after it happened.

“We’re good friends. Our families are good friends, our wives and kids,” he said. “I told him, ‘Hey, you want to come inside with a pitch, just let me know.’ It shook him up. You could tell because he wasn’t throwing too good after that.”

The next hitter, Laynce Nix, hit a three-run home run when the Rockies led, 3-0, tying int 3-3.

“I heard that I turned around and kind of pointed to him to let him know I knew he didn’t do it on purpose,” said Rolen. “Yeah, actually, I do remember that. I knew he’d be shaken up about it. I wanted to make sure he knew I wasn’t dead - yet.”

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Random thoughts during another dismal day

TOOK A DAY OFF Sunday and it only cost me $1000. Shopping. Nadine took me to Joseph Banks and $625 disappeared (for me) then she took me to Talbot’s and $375 disappared (for her).

I bought a lot of blue stuff, not on purpose, but it became appropos when I got to the ballpark today

As usual, there was more blue than red in Great American Ball Park with the Chicago Cubs in town. They made more noise, too.

One word: embarrassing. They should just let the Cubs wear the home whites and have the Reds wear their road grays. It’s that bad.

AARON HARANG was sitting at his locker before Monday’s game, dabbling on a laptop computer.

“Oh, great,” he said. “Two-and-a-half minutes between innings. An ESPN game. I’ll warm up and be ready and they’ll still be out to commercial. I don’t understand it. Baseball and umpires want to speed up games, but they let TV push them around to get more commercials in have 2 1/2 minutes between innings.”

Harang awaited the 2 1/2 minutes between the bottom of the first and the top of the second. About 2 1/2 minutes later it was 3-0 Cubs. He hit Milton Bradley with a pitch, gave up a single Alfonso Soriano and a three-run homer to Mike Fontenot on a big hanger.

AT LEAST Harang didn’t give up any runs in the first inning. The Reds have given up 92 first-inning runs, 20 more than any other teams in baseball (San Diego 72, Detroit 72). One of the more stunning stats, though, is the fact the Reds are 40-0 in games they lead after eight innings. No other National League team is undefeated when they lead after eight innings.

OK, IT’S 79 degrees, but I’m gulping coffee - to stay awake. Honest. I love baseball, but this is snooze-inducing. I’d drink Mountain Dew but when I get home tonight I want to take my dog, Barkley, for a walk around the neighborhood, not a run around the neighborhood.

How bad is it? There are some media types sitting back in the dining room and they are talking about the Bengals. You kidding me?

TYPICA HARANG, give up run early and then shut it down. After giving up the three runs in the second inning, he retired 13 of the next 14. And typical of his teammates, the Reds scored him zero runs - three hits in five innings.

GAPPER, the furry red mascot, stopped in the pressbox to pose for a couple of gag photos with Chicago Tribune baseball writer Paul Sullivan. Sully is collecting photos of himself with mascots all over the league.

Now there’s a way to stay awake.

Sully and the Chicago writers couldn’t figure out why he is named Gapper. Bet a lot of fans don’t know, either, that Gapper’s name comes from Great American Ball Park. Yeah, I( know, a real stretch.

The Reds lead the league in two categories - and only two: Most mascots (Gapper, Mr. Red, Rosie Red and Mr. Redlegs) and most broadcasters (Marty Brennaman, Thom Brennaman, Jeff Brantley, George Grande, Chris Welsh, Jim Kelch, Dan Hoard).

MAYBE BAKER should bench more people for lackadaisical play. Alex Gonzalez did not start Monday after lolly-gagging on a couple of plays Sunday that led to runs. But he was part of a double switch late in Monday’s game and hit a home run leading off the eighth, his first at-bat.

And that, Deadlegs fans, was all she scribbled. Cubs 4, Reds 2.

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Who gets the rope for Volquez?

Fans with little or no knowledge of how baseball and the body works are quick to points fingers and lay blame when a pitcher like Edinson Volquez breaks down.

They blame the manager, they blame the pitching coach. Why does blame always have to be placed? Stuff happens.

As manager Dusty Baker says, “Any time you throw a baseball over the top, a violent, unnatural motion, something can happen on any pitch.”

There was no more a distraught person than Reds pitching coach Dick Pole today when he came to the park and discovered that Volquez underwent Tommy John surgery and will miss a year.

FANS WONDER why teams don’t prevent Latin players from playing winter ball and why teams permit players to participate in the World Baseball Classic in early spring.

Teams have no control. They can’t forbid. If a player wants to play winter ball, it is his choice, his prerogative.

“There is a lot of pressure on them from their countries not only to play, but to perform at a high level,” said Baker. “What did Volquez make last year, $400,000? That’s a lot of money, but by the time you pay taxes and split that up with 25 family members, it ain’t much. And some players make more in winter ball than in the majors.”

When Volquez and Johnny Cueto left last fall for the Dominican Republic, Pole set up a program for both as far as pitching in winter ball. “I’m friends with Cueto’s coach, so I knew I was OK there,” said Pole. But Volquez was a different story.

“Volquez was supposed to throw only 50 pitches in his first game, but he threw 99,” said Pole. “And the only reason I know that is he pitched against Cueto and the other coach told me.”

THEN VOLQUEZ left the Reds camp early this spring to pitch for the Dominican in the WBC.

“When they had the first World Baseball Classic, I noticed that a lot of guys who participated in that didn’t go to this one,” said Pole. “They saw the effects of that one. That’s a very, very early time to get ready. You can say what you want, but when you get in a game that means something, you are going to compete as hard as you can compete and it’s tough on the arm.

“I read or heard somebody talking about how many guys the WBC affected, guys who wound up on the DL, and it was a lot,” Pole said.

“Losing Volquez when we lost him (the first of June) just put a big hole in our rotation,” he added. “Here’s a guy we’re counting on, a guy who won 17 last year and we’re counting on him to do it again. He’s gone. It’s tough to replace that.

“I just hope he heals up and is able to pitch next year,” Pole added. “I’ve seen some guys - Steve Karsay, who I had in Cleveland - when he was with Oakland pitched 91 and 92. After he had the Tommy John he was pitching 98, for crying out loud. It seems invariably that anybody who has that surgery comes back throwing better than they do before.”

The Reds can only hope.

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Volquez undergoes Tommy John surgery, out for a year

As suspected, pitcher Edinson Volquez required Tommy John ligament replacement and the procedure was perform this morning by team medical director Dr. Tim Kremchek.

Volquez will miss up to 12 months.

He has been on the disabled list since May and the club hopes rest and rehab will solve the problem, but he twice had setbacks while trying to pitch in the bullpen and last Friday in a simulated game.

The procedure today was exploratory, but Dr. Kremchek said Saturday, “If we find out he needs Tommy John we’ll do it while we’re in there.”

And that’s what happened.

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Another Saturday night and they just keep losing

It has come to this. We don’t have anything to ask Dusty Baker as the losses pile up like snow drifts in Green Bay. And he doesn’t have much to say to us.

That’s the fallout when a team loses 11 of 12. How often can you say or write, “They stink.”

THIS REMINDS of back in the early 1980s when Vern Rapp managed the Reds. He was not a good quote. And he knew it. So as games neared their ends, he would sit in the dugout and write down his thoughts on the game on index cards.

Then when we came into his office he would pull them out and refer to them. It was boring, boring, boring. So we started bypassing his office, going directliy to talk to the players. That’s why they now have a rule - you must talk to the manager before you talk to the players.

That was difficult, too, when Dave Miley managed the Reds and the losses piled higher than snow drifts in Minneapolis. We would go in and he’d stare at us as if to say, “What do you want me to say?” Then he’d say, “What do you want me to do about it? I’m only one man.” And everybody would laugh.

Dusty Baker isn’t like that. He always has something to say, usually excellent stuff. But after Saturday’s 5-2 loss to the Rockies he said, “Don’t know what to say. I’m out of material.” But he dissected what happened rather well.

JONNY GOMES checked the lineup card hanging on a clubhouse wall and broke into a broad smile as he said, “I gotta protect the new guy.”

That’s because Gomes was batting sixth for the Cincinnati Reds Saturday against the Colordado Rockies, right behind the new guy, third baseman Scott Rolen.

Rolen popped out his first time in a Reds uniform, then Gomes stepped into a 100 miles an hour fastball from Ubaldo Jimenez that carried for a home run, zipping to its destination at about 150 miles an hour.

For the Reds, that was the extent of the positives emanating from Great American Ball Park. Rolen went 0 for 4 and made the game’s final out as the Reds punched only five hits through eight innings against Jimenez.

The Rockies rocked Homer Bailey for five runs and seven hits in 5 1/3 innings and the Reds were toppled, 5-2, their 11th loss in 12 games.

And guess who is now tied for last place in the National League Central with Pittsburgh? Their initials are C.R. and it isn’t the Colorado Rockies. Ker-plunk.

ROLEN FLEW to Cincinnati from Oakland and arrived at 4 a.m. Saturday. Manager Dusty Baker gave him the option of resting or playing and Rolen said, “Put me in, coach.”

After the game, Rolen said, “I want to play. They traded for me to play, not sit, and I wanted to be out there.”

Said Baker, “He won’t tell you he got in at 4 and that I gave him the option to sit, but he wanted to play and that’s the kind of guy he is. He could easily have said no and I would have understood.”

Rolen made a nifty short-hop play on a hard grounder in the hole in the first inning and said, “Yeah, at least I got that out of the way.”

Now he is looking for a hit.

“The transition from one team to another never gets easy,” said Rolen. “I saw my brother here with his wife and kids and my parents made it down from Toronto. I’m a sap and get emotional and when I saw them it was exciting.

“You try to fight yourself not to try to hard to get a hit,” he said. “That’s not the way I normally go about my business. I try to stay processed oriented rather than results. But you take the edge off if you can just sneak in that first hit.”

He’ll try again this afternoon. DREW SUTTON led the bottom of the first with a double and scored on Joey Votto’s ground ball. Then came Gomes’ homer in the second. Then came nothing.

From the third through the ninth the Reds had three singles.

“You don’t run into arms like that very often,” Baker said about Jimenez. “He was throwing 100 consistently.”

Bailey needed only 38 pitches in the first three innings and had a 2-0 lead. But he needed 37 pitches in the fourth and gave up three runs on three hits.

He gave up a home run in the fifth to leadoff hitter Sam Smith and a run and two hits in the sixth before he was pulled on his 100th pitch.

“That’s the inconsistencies of youth,” said Baker. “He has come a long way from where he was. He reminds me of where (San Francisco’s) Matt Cain was a couple of years ago.

Cain is 12-2 with a 2.12 ERA in 21 starts this year. Two years ago he was 8-14 with a 3.76 ERA in 34 starts.

“He gave us all he had,” Baker said of Bailey. “We’re scuffling big time, but tonight we had one who makes you scuffle when he is throwing 100 miles an hour.”

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Dissecting the Rolen trade

OK, MY TAKE on the big trade - take it or leave it. I am, of course, talking about the Cincinnati Reds acquiring 34-year-old third baseman Scott Rolen.

The Reds shipped third baseman Edwin Encarnacion to Toronto and E.E. didn’t talk to the Cincinnati media before he left. That was OK, because he isn’t going to be missed by anybody with the Reds on the field, off the field or in the clubhouse. He contributed virtually nothing.

I found it enlightening what manager Dusty Baker said: “Rolen almost never throws the ball away. He has the most accurate arm I’ve seen. He gets his hands on the ball, you’re out.”

With Encarnacion, you never knew if, first, he was going to catch it, then if he did, where he was going to throw it. Most of the time it either in the dirt or bouncing down Pete Rose Way.

Subtracting E.E. was a plus, but throwing in two young pitchers like Josh Roenicke and Zach Stewart make this a dubious deal.

First of all, to help the team this year, the trade should have been made before or during spring training. It is way, way, way too late for this year.

Does it improve the team for next year, when he is 35 and both Roenicke and Stewart are gone? Well, check payroll?

Next year the Reds will have to pay Rolen, Aaron Harang, Bronson Arroyo and Coco Cordero more than $10 million each. There is more than $45 million for four players. How does that happen with a $75 million payroll.

And the team must find a shortstop somehow, some way. Clearly, Cordero has to go and probably one or two starting pitchers. Where does that leave the team? Pretty much in a deep bind. Again.

So, in the long term, I don’t feel this is a good move. They gave up too much good young pitching, they acquired too much salary for an old players with a history of injuries.

SPEAKING OF injuries, pitcher Edinson Volquez will undergo what amounts to exploratory surgery on his elbow Monday and is done for the season.

“We’re going in to see what is causing the problem,” said GM Walt Jocketty. “We won’t know the next step (Tommy John ligament replacement surgery?) until we see. It hasn’t gotten better. We tried to be conservative and give it time, but that didn’t work. So it is time to go in and see what’s going on.”

Any bets? Tommy John surgery? If so, he won’t be pitching next year, either.

SOME GOOD LINES from Saturday:

“I get to protect the new guy.” — Jonny Gomes, after seeing the lineup card on which he was batting sixth behind Scott Rolen.

“Scott Rolen is a big, big boy. A man-child. Even his head is big.” — Bronson Arroyo.

“He hunts like Daniel Boone.” — Colorado manager Jim Tracy, a hunting companion of former Reds pitcher/pitching coach Don Gullett.

“July was tough on us, real tough, and in many ways. Glad to see July go. C’mon August.” Reds manager Dusty Baker.

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