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Monday, August 2, 2010
How hot was the Weekend of Fire?
Having been intrigued by the idea of the Weekend of Fire when I wrote my preview story, I decided to check it out myself.
On the surface, that may sound like a bad idea. Misfortune with hot food runs in my family. Many eons ago, my dad was asking for an apple pie. I think he was less than 10 years old. My grandmother relented and finally started baking.
Now, my grandmother loved cinnamon - she used it liberally in every recipe that called for it. But on this particular occasion, she wasn’t looking when she reached over to the spice rack - and grabbed not the cinnamon, but the cayenne pepper. And she dumps LOADS of cayenne pepper into this pie mix.
So she feeds it to my dad, who in all innocence says “Mommy, it’s hot!”
Grandma: “It can’t possibly be hot. It’s been cooling for an hour.”
Dad: “No, you don’t understand, it’s hot!”
Granddad: “It’s NOT hot! Eat it or you’re in big trouble!”
(Repeat process a few more times until Dad gets sent to his room. Then the grandparents tried a piece.)
Grandparents: “Oh - it IS hot!”
So with that as background, I approached the Weekend of Fire somewhat warily, but on the whole I enjoyed it. I’ve always liked spicy foods pretty well, but I do have my limits. And I went WAY over it at one particular table.,
I come upon the DEFCON booth. You might say with a name like that, I’m asking for it, and you would be right.
It starts inauspiciously enough. I try the mild sauce, thinking even that’s going to burn me, but I’m just fine with it. The guy behind the counter indicates a much tinier bottle and says “The smaller the bottle, the spicier it is.” I detect a mischievous glint in his eye. The bottle says “Competition Wing Sauce.” The sample cup has just a couple of drops.
“How bad can it be?” I muse - then I take a sip.
For maybe about .0001 seconds, I taste wing sauce. Then, an intense wave of heat erupts in my mouth, which EXPLODES like Mount Krakatoa. Then the fumes start to burn my nostrils. And no, I am NOT exaggerating. All I can think of is “H.” Not “HOT.” Just “H.” I think maybe I meant to say HELP! Without question, this is the hottest substance I have ever ingested.
And all this from such a minuscule amount! I shudder to think what an entire chicken wing would be like, but I can say this much - once you get done with that, you’ll do an excellent impression of a chicken, as you will not have any lips left!
So that was my experience - how was yours? If you didn’t go, are you curious to try?
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